How the hell do I buy bras for my refusenik teen?

[Rockbird]

She's 13 and bursting out of her bras. She admits herself that they're tight but she refuses to be measured, let me measure her, or even look at her properly to get a rough idea. I can't buy bigger bras without having any clue. But she won't discuss it at all. I understand she's a teenager and doesn't want to talk about things like this but we have a very close relationship and talk about everything else. I just want to buy her a new sodding bra!

Would she measure herself and give you the figures? Do you know what size she is wearing now?

Maybe you respect her wishes?

Give her bra money if she wants to choose her own?
Stop discussing her body if she doesn't want to discuss it?

I just guess and buy a few online for mine to try on. She doesn't want to be measure by me or a shop and I don't blame her.

well what size are her others. Couldnt you just go up a few cup sizes, or a few bigger bras for her to try on at home
maybe crop top style sports bras will be less important to get the proper size

Otherwise quite honestly id leave her to it. Its only a bra. Plenty of people dont wear them at all

I would buy her some coloured crop bras - the stretchy ones you buy in dress size rather than back/cup size - and leave her to it. Like most things and teenagers, the more you push the more she'll dig in!

Why can’t she measure herself and tell you? Otherwise buy a variety in different sizes to let her try on and return the ones that don’t fit/aren’t liked.

If she will measure herself then I would give her a tape measure and advise her to follow the boob or bust method in the privacy of her own room.

Then I'd give her some money so she can go and buy her own or let her buy some online using your card.

I'd just get her to do it herself, or get her bras a size/couple of sizes bigger than her current ones, based on how much too small you think they look.

I was the same as a teen, would rather die than have a bra conversation/fitting...as a result I didn't have proper fitting bras and developed stretch marks very early on. M&S do great bralettes which might work...they are based on size (10, 12, 14 etc) and then 'normal' bust and fuller bust...this might be easier as you can get something that's supportive (they are! I am a 36dd), not overly fussy and hopefully easier to 'fit'? Perhaps buy some to let her try on in private at home and then return if needed? Larger bust (DD+): www.marksandspencer.com/louisa-lace-longline-dd-bralet/p/clp60270928?color=BLACK&prevPage=srp#intid=prodColourId-60270928 and 'normal' bust www.marksandspencer.com/louisa-lace-longline-bralet/p/clp60269067?color=WHITE&prevPage=srp#intid=prodColourId-60269064

Bravissimo will do a telephone fitting if she would talk to someone - might be easier for her but if she finds a face to face appointment awkward. Otherwise you are probably best encouraging her to look at online fitting guidance such Boob or Bust

Does she have to wear a bra?

Either giver her the money, or maybe help her shop online.

Mine both prefer sports bras. More coverage, more support, and no measuring size, they just get nike/gymshark xs or whatever. Presumably at school there’s less opportunity for bra stop pinging at school .

They do have a couple of more “fashion” bralettes as well from hollister etc.

Maybe she doesn’t like “traditional” bras? I hate them tbf, so uncomfortable, wires and bloody scratchy lace.

Get her some comfort bras they usually come in sizes or s/m/l etc

I'm not insisting on discussing her body, she tells me she needs new ones.

And no, of course she doesn't have to wear a bra but she's large enough that it would probably be uncomfortable to go without, alas she takes after me. She wore comfort bras and sports bras for a good while but they don't really cut it anymore.

She has a bank card, I'm happy to transfer the money and let her sort it herself. Maybe that's the way forward. Thanks for the suggestions.

Stretch marks don't come from bralessness! They come from quick growth, be it in breast size, tummy area, arse, height (knees)...

I had this and ended up buying a whole load of different sizes online based on going bigger than her previous bras. Bought from a company that do free returns and free delivery and just bought about ten different ones, let her try them on and kept a couple.

My DD is quite private, so when she needs more underwear she chooses, adds it to an online shopping basket and all I do is pay at the end.

Careful

Primark do good seamless brass that I think just come in small, medium, large etc. They're pretty supportive and comfortable.

DD won’t wear a traditional bra and doesn’t want to be measured. I respect that and just buy her plain, comfy bralettes /sports crop tops. Usually come in small, medium or large, so I just guess she is roughly a medium and get her those.

Not worth making a fuss about.

My Dd is 13 and absolutely refuses to wear a bra or even discuss it.
She's at least a B cup so she definitely needs one but I just have to let her get on with it.

DD was like this. I got her a voucher for a shop in town, gave her £20 for coffee and cake with two pals and waved her off saying don’t come back until you have new bras.

• obvs the don’t come back bit was a joke.

She was 14.

Came strolling in swinging her posh looking carrier bag, bow and all. The bras were lovely, she even got a black/lacey one (my mother would have had a fit if I’d done that 🤣🤣), and two other ones. As soon as she wore the first white one under her uniform shirt she looked better.

I never said a word, just ‘let me know when if you need another trip to town for bits and bobs’.

Bralettes come in clothes sizes, 8,10, 12 etc. Primark and supermarkets sell them and they are cheap. Can you get her a few of these until the is ready to measure herself?

Bravissimo measured my DD by sight ( and got it right) so no need to actually be measured/ touched, if this is the problem. They have ‘trying on bras ‘ and can judge visually.

Ask her to measure herself and when she's done that she can browse, choose what she wants and let you know?