Can school teachers talk to children about this?

[Stokefolk]

It’s a bit petty, but I’m annoyed.

We have very limited family support or people who care for our children.

My son had surgery recently and had to have a few weeks off school to recover. During this time there was no contact from the school, nor did he receive any get well soon cards from his class. It wasn’t anything severe, nor was it surgery of a sensitive nature. He is 7yrs old.

When he returned to school his teacher said ‘nice to have you back’ and nothing more

I have had some other issues with the school recently and popped in to speak to the head. I mentioned the fact that I was disappointed with not hearing anything from the school, or my sons class during his period of recovery and the head said that the teacher wasn’t able to discuss my son’s operation or encourage cards to be made because it’s of a medical nature and therefore private

Is this correct? It seems to me to be a missed opportunity to support a child’s emotional needs? But maybe I’m too close to this to see it rationally?

Do you know what, no, there is no “entitlement” to such a thing and not should there be. But it’s the mark of a bloody excellent primary teacher that makes the effort to make their children feel special and cared about and like they belong somewhere and are part of something.

School is so important when you’re seven.

And one in three teachers plan to quit the classroom within five years. I can’t imagine why.

One of my year 1 pupils recently had surgery. He was isolating for a few days before, then was off for 2 weeks after. We had a sponsored event whilst he was isolating and his mum sent in a photo of him joining in from home.

I showed it on the IB and 'included' him in a class video that was shared with the parents. My whole class also chose to make get well soon cards in their golden time, which I sealed in a large sandwich bag and sent home with his sister (sealed so they could decontaminate!)

His mum and dad wrote an email to the head thanking me for including him and for organising the cards (which I really didn't do, the kids asked if they could). He actually ended up back in hospital with a complication and was off for a further week, then had to have a staggered return. My little bit of effort made a huge difference to the family, and they said it really helped when they were feeling very low about it all.

There is no such thing as a rule to say we can't do things like this! It's purely down to the individual teachers, or their leadership team. The children in my class knew he was off but not why. I didn't breach any GDPR and personally was happy to do a bit extra, and I know all of the other teachers in my school would have done the same, or more!

This happens in some schools. I am a paediatric nurse and some of my primary school aged patients get cards from their class at school. My DC made cards at school for a teacher who had just had a baby. She isn't either of my DCs' class teacher, she might be one of the deputy heads, so would probably find time to do one for a child who was off for a while. DC1's class previously made cards for the teacher's grandmother who was very unwell in hospital (they are in upper KS2). I can see why teachers are saying that they can't tell the class why the child is off school, but are you not allowed to say 'X is off because he is ill, let's make him a card' without going into any details? or 'X has been off for a while, let's make him a card to let him know we miss him' without mentioning why he is off?

You are being ridiculous tbh. It was a planned surgery with time off to recover of a couple of weeks. I think people forget that children are off all the time and the teacher was busy teaching the rest of the class and dealing with all the other friendship, social and pastoral issues she had to deal with. Making get well cards will have slipped her mind. I think people mistakenly think there is loads of down time in a school day; there often isn't. It would not be deemed OK to take 20 mins out of English or maths or whatever to make a card!

My ds7 was off for a week with appendicitis (treated with antibiotics so he avoided surgery). The teacher had planned to make cards in art, but he returned earlier than expected due to not needing the operation.

All this rubbish about this showing that their pastoral care isn't good etc is really nonsense. Pastoral care is looking after the children's well being in school and safeguarding them. This really doesn't include sending cards to kids whose interests and well being are being protected by medical staff and caring parents. A card would have been nice but really it is a non event and I think the head was probably pretty pissed off at your comment. I would have been.

I’m with @GraciousPiglet

I think if my child was off due to a medical reason and the whole class knew without me telling them - I’d be pissed.

Confidentiality is key.

@niceandsimple

The class don't need to know why a child is absent to notice that they are missing. It takes very little time to write a we miss you card, and makes the absent child feel really special and important. Why not do it? It can always be incorporated into another lesson, as PP mentioned she got letters written as part of the literacy lesson. It is very sad when a child is absent for an extended period and there is very little acknowledgement from the school. And I mean by that acknowledgement in the child's eyes!!

We're in the middle of a pandemic that has frequent 10 day and previously 14 day isolations. Some students have poor attendance anyway. Others are off for illness or longer term medical problems too. The dc in the class won't really notice

Damned if you do Damned if you don't...

I know as a teacher it would be a lovely thing to do but there is so, so, so much to do every day. It's a struggle to fit the curriculum in at state schools and getting 7 year olds to do anything honestly takes ages! In between making sure the kids eat breakfast who don't get fed at home, writing out translations for newly arrived eal kids and writing reports, as well as the regular teaching unfortunately lots of things just don't get done. Maybe they just didn't have the time? I wouldn't be too upset by it really. I also would not be expecting a parent to be happy me sharing medical information about a child with the class unless the parent has expressly given permission for this.
Don't want this to sound like an excuses post, but just wanted to give reality of day to day teaching for those who don't work in schools. I did a card once for a child off for 6 weeks with an illness but not usually a couple of weeks.

And those who say, why not write the letter as part of letter writing in literacy, we plan English lessons as a sequence of lessons, usually over a couple of weeks so it might not just be that simple..

I wouldn't expect anything if one of our DC were off. It would be lovely to get something, but it's not always possible to do so.

Most people are well aware of confidentiality, I'm not sure why it's the teachers fault for not specifically asking. You're the parent, if you wanted his class to know it's your responsibility to tell his teacher that. I'd be very angry if the teacher shared any of my children's SEN and medical issues without consent. It would be really annoying to be asked everytime something comes up if I want their class to know. Both the school and I know these things are confidential, it's my responsibility as their parent to let it be known if I want something shared.

Can you imagine if someone was off from your work for a minor surgery and when they came back, they went to head office and complained specifically about you for not organising a card?
Then a few months later someone else was off for the same so you organised a card and then when they came back they went to head office and reported you for breaching confidentiality?
Stop contributing to the culture that is making teaching such a toxic environment to work in.
Let them get on with their already stressful, over-demanding job.