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Original poster

Do medical professionals ever 'enjoy' an intimate examination?

81 replies

cottoncandyflossy · 23/06/2021 07:35

Really wasn't sure which topic to put this in.

I have had a pelvic examination recently, I of course felt exposed and a little bit awkward, but it is what it is.
The doctor was examining to see how much pain I was in. I was offered a chaperone but refused as the less people the better.

I assume as a medical professional you have pretty much seen it all, and when you're at work you see things through a very scientific/medical way.

But at the end of the day, people are only human. If you are doing an examination of a person you might normally find attractive, would they ever enjoy it or have to focus to not be turned on/think about it afterwards? (Male or female)

OP posts:

FixTheBone · 23/06/2021 08:50

Personally, absolutely not.

I've had two completely vexatious complaints, complete and total lies, and that's in situations when I haven't even physically touched a patient.

My main emotion is fear, given that any patient, any time could complain, so everyone has a chaperone, to protect myself more than anything else.

PandasCatsWolves · 23/06/2021 08:51

This happened to me aged about 15. Was clearly sexual 'assault' in hindsight.

I'd said no the the chaperone as it was already so embarrassing 😔

Doctor spent longer than was necessary doing a pelvic exam, and did a totally unnecessary breast exam in parallel. Makes me feel sick now 🤢

Realise he is the exception to the rule. Least hope so....

Bryonyshcmyony · 23/06/2021 08:54

You can't not have a nurse present at my local hospital.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General health

MaMelon · 23/06/2021 08:57

I had a very strange experience when I was in my mid twenties - I’m now in my 50s and still don’t know what to make of it. I was being examined internally for some pelvic pain - he kept thrusting his finger into me, asking if it was sore there, or there, or there. No external palpating as you would expect. The nurse chaperoning looked quite uncomfortable and after he’d gone I asked her if that was normal for that type of examination- she sort of muttered yes, but the whole thing felt very wrong. I’ve had plenty of gynae exams since and didn’t get a weird vibe from any of them.

PandasCatsWolves · 23/06/2021 08:57

Mine was 90s and things were different then. Now there would be no chance of this happening. GP surgery in 90s.... different story.

ImaHogg · 23/06/2021 09:02

I have had gynae issues for quite some years so have had many, many internals including internal scans etc. However there has always been a nurse or HCA present. I think they end up seeing so many body parts that they all blur into one. Maybe at the beginning it may cross their minds but it must be a bit like a chocoholic working in a chocolate factory, I’m sure the novelty quickly wears off.

motogogo · 23/06/2021 09:02

Drs do get intrigued by medical curiosities. We had a laugh about my weird shaped cervix at my smear appointment, apparently I'm 1:1000! She found it interesting that I gave birth naturally as normally women shaped like me struggle. This isn't enjoying, its interesting

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 23/06/2021 09:07

As a female Dr I've honestly had more problems the other way around with patients making lewd comments that eg 'I should be so lucky' to be having to inspect their diseased member. I did not feel lucky. That was with a chaperone BTW. I assumed the little twat was very nervous and that it was bravado talking. I did not do anything unnecessarily painful to him although he deserved it for that comment.

I have also had 2 male patients repeatedly making up complaints to get me to have to examine them and when I cottoned on had to transfer them to other Drs.

There certainly have been Drs who are perverts I cannot deny that but for the vast vast majority we are just normal people who take no dubious pleasure at all in examining people attractive or not and are just concentrating on our job of diagnosing illness. We are also terrified of complaints including unfounded ones because that is our livelihood. No-one wants a GMC investigation even if you are innocent as it is so stressful.

If you continue to feel that something was off then you can write a complaint and it will be investigated. Possibly you would be reassured if he can explain what the 'look' was about? In any case it will be good for him to learn to never agree to proceed without a chaperone. He should have insisted or said he can't go ahead without one and offered to rebook for a female Dr.

AriadnetheSpider · 23/06/2021 09:15

Professional here. Absolutely never have I derived personal gratification from examining a patient. If I ever did, it’d be the day I change careers. It is not normal.

Healthcare professionals are in the highest position of trust and must be held to the most stringent standards. Our detachment from our personal emotions/feelings during examinations is vital to get the job done properly, and to protect patients and ourselves. It’s just what’s done, we stay objective.

Chaperones are vital - they protect the patients and the HCP.

StarryNight13 · 23/06/2021 09:16

I thought chaperones were necessary, when I had a pelvic examination, the doctor asked me if he could have one present, I think it’s important to protect the doctor from any accusations.

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 23/06/2021 09:20

From the other side I was examined for a skin rash as a teenager and it was awful and humiliating and I definitely thought at the time the guy had some sexual motivation.

The rash was all over my body so I thought he could just look at a bit that was visible and I lifted my top up at the back. He was then quite dismissive and said 'no, no take all your clothes off'. There was no chaperone offered and no privacy screen or anything so I just wound up standing in my underwear in the middle of his office whilst he walked slowly around me staring and then without warning came up and looked very closely at one of the lesions on my back and touched it. He then went back to his desk, sat down writing notes and after a few moments of me still standing there naked looked up and said 'oh you can put your clothes on now'
At the time I thought he was a pervert for sure

After going to medical school I now know that he had a terrible, disrespectful manner but he probably wasn't a pervert and he did make the correct (quite rare) diagnosis. He was probably very absorbed in thinking about it as it would be rare for a GP to see. He did need to see the distribution of the whole rash I now know hence the 'prowling around' and he did need to see if the lesions were scaling hence the close inspection of one.

He should have explained all this to me, he should have offered a chaperone and more dignity for me changing. His communication was crap but I no longer think it was anything sexual.

In my own view a lot more bad experiences are poor communication than sexual motivation.

overwork · 23/06/2021 09:32

No, I don't, and I find it offensive that you asked. In my job I examine both women's gynaecology organs and testes, so my lack of 'enjoyment' has nothing to do with their sex. I do however enjoy my job, I enjoy that I often find answers to the patient's complaint and can put their mind at ease instantly, or send them in the right direction for treatment. I'd be more likely to remember someone for being particularly pleasant /unpleasant towards me, rather than their bodily parts.

DinosaurDiana · 23/06/2021 09:33

Er, no.

notapizzaeater · 23/06/2021 09:40

Do you get turned on by naked attraction ? Most people just look and think willies, or 'ooh she's a landing strip' but aren't actually turned on. I had 4 lots of ivf so lots of fiddling and prodding, not once did I wonder if the doctor appreciated my bits !

Seesawmummadaw · 23/06/2021 09:47

I’m sorry that you were made to feel uncomfortable op. Do you want to take it further?

As a nurse I am usually the chaperone and have never witnessed anything untoward. We see a lot and it really is just another part of our job.

GlutenFreeGingerCake · 23/06/2021 09:52

I like having a chaperone, not because I don't trust the Dr but it just makes things feel more professional to have someone there to prevent any problems, like they won't take any risks and want to do everything properly.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 23/06/2021 17:51

What @CovoidOfAllHumanity said. Intimate examinations can be quite stressful because, as a doctor, you are conscious of the patient's embarrassment. I'm female and heterosexual. Male intimate examinations are worse than women's because men are so much more embarrassed (on average). I can't imagine finding them anything other than quite hard work, because of the effort required to put patients at their ease.

This is not to deny that some doctors are abusers, btw, just to answer the OP's question about what is normal.

Nonmaquillee · 23/06/2021 17:57

@NeedToKnow101

Slightly off-topic but a nurse doing my smear test said I had a lovely vagina and tried to set me up on a blind date with her mate.

😱 WTF

Blue4YOU · 23/06/2021 18:11

I’ve had dozens of internal exams etc with male and female doctors. With and without chaperones and have never, ever felt uncomfortable.
However, I’m still trying to take legal action or get justice for when my daughter’s doctor wrapped himself around me, stroked me and other things - while my daughter was on my lap. I was meant to be her chaperone!
It’s ruined a good part of my life.
If there’s a lesson in any of this always, always have a chaperone.
I’d absolutely die if I thought I was thinking something wrong about a HCP doing their job properly and I’ve been made to feel like dirt for daring to report the shithead who did this to me. I’m all for doctors being supported and protected. But there’s got to be protection for you too.
You can’t assume they are all as professional as they ought to be. Sadly.

FrancesFlute · 23/06/2021 18:15

Was it a male doctor? I've never been asked if I want a chaperone for that - a male doctor has just got one. My DH is a doctor and it is just as much to cover themselves. Although I have to say it was a bit weird having a receptionist watch my mastitis-ridden breast be examined

FijiCavanaugh · 23/06/2021 18:23

@overwork

Offensive? You do know that sexual assault by HCPs is a rare but real phenomenon. At the very least OP was uncomfortable and the Dr could have allayed that by better communication and having a chaperone as a matter of course.

Earfling · 23/06/2021 18:37

Two females GPs look after me - one always has a chaperone, one asks if I want one but doesn't actually want one herself.

Both always ask regarding medical students though.

tillytoodles1 · 23/06/2021 18:57

I know a gynaecologist who watches porn on a 60" TV. I thought he'd see enough of that during the day. I used to say it was woman wearing three pairs of knickers that turned him on.

Milomonster · 23/06/2021 19:58

Thank you for starting this post - interesting question.
I was once examined by my endocrinologist as I have a pituitary adenoma. He said he needed to check my boobs for lumps. I wasn’t asked if I wanted a chaperone. I don’t know if it was odd as I didn’t go in for that.

Secretsout · 23/06/2021 20:22

As a midwife, vaginas are my 'bread and butter' everyday part of my job. It's just a body part like looking in your throat or ear. Although I fully understand how women are embarrassed having to be examined, it's just a normal thing for us and we really don't look or judge or get any enjoyment from it.

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