Dd age 13 wants a cat but I dont

[chasegirl]

Her friends cat has just had kittens and Dd is on a mission to break me down so I say yes. She's made all the promises about cleaning and feeding and it would be her cat.

Help me stay strong! Anyone hit a cast iron argument for saying no?

I hope he’s ok, you should never brag how good your cat is at something though! They will instantly think “well now I am not doing it”.

I was exactly like this, was dreading it but wanted my ds to hVe the experience of a pet.

Best thing I ever did. I adore him! Took 5 mins until I fell I. Love!

Our cats from cats protection are by far the easiest pets ever. Far less trouble than rabbits and a different league to a dog. Get an easy one, with no conditions and neuroses. They look after themselves really. Bit of food, sleep and go out. Put up with fuss if you're in the mood to fuss them but don't really need you to love them like dogs do.

@Fluffycloudland77

I know! I feel awful about it. He is in a lot of pain. Hopefully it all goes well tomorrow.

Good luck tomorrow.
Our old cat lived until 19. At the end she needed to be groomed twice a day. She would randomly shout at night and needed daily medication.
They aren’t always low maintenance.
Still miss her though.

@Wolfiefan They just grab your heart don't they!

@Fluffycloudland77
Update!

He's out of surgery and alive. Very long grass frond which they are going to give us in a plastic bag. As a gardener quite excited to identify it. Might even post it in Litter Tray forum

Just going to hoover the house now and get it all perfect for him coming back. He loves a super tidy house and hates the hoover. The little prince

stick to your guns!! I gave in to my children and got 2 kittens they promised the would look after! DD has now moved out and left her cat behind and DS barely remembers to feed them! Thankfully he does clean up the birds and mice they bring in but he'll be leaving for Uni next year and then what!! The cats still have at least another 10 years in them that I will be left responsible for

I am a massive cat person but a kitten is a 20 year commitment. Does she know what she'll be doing, where she'll be living and whether she'll be allowed pets when she's 23 and 33?

@LemonSwan that’s great news. We now have two rescued tortie terrors!!!

My DS was desperate for a cat for ages. Eventually a friends cat needed a foster home but stayed for good. DS was wonderful with him. Feeding him, looking after him. DS has been a star with our other cats as well.

But they are living creatures and you need to be dedicated to them for the whole of their lives. It is not just food and litter but neutering and vet bills.

Your DD will leave home and the cat won't.

I love my cats and suspect you'd probably fall for it once it's home but you might resent it when it gets expensive. The insurance, flea treatments, food and litter adds up. Both of mine have heart problems (one is 4, the other is 6) and take tablets daily. Insurance has skyrocketed but there are only two options, suck it up or move to an insurer who will exclude any claims related to the heart conditions. Given that the last claim was just over 4K, moving to a new insurer isn't much of an option.

@Thecathouse

Is she happy to clean up mouse and bird corpses? Maybe point out that a cat might not be so attractive when she has to clean up feathers and blood all over her bedroom floor

Also - if she leaves her things around or clothes on the floor a kitten will either destroy them or piss on them

Sometimes the mouse or bird is not quite dead, just horrifically injured. Is she prepared to carry out a mercy killing? It's traumatic!

Stress she’ll have clean the litter before school, stress how it will bring mice or birds or other things in,

The worst is having to try to catch live mice and birds, plus the still alive newborn rabbits and the rabbit innards.
I recommend getting an older cat. They start to calm down and hunt less when they're middle-aged. Plus it would obviously die sooner. And let it go outside -happier and calmer cat and no litter tray.
A childhood without a pet is pretty sad, imv.

I assigned the task of getting rid of dead animals to the youngest and most compliant child!

Is there any special need for your DD that she needs one on her life? For example is she an only child?

@Branleuse

A cat is such an easy pet, especially if it is allowed outside. Id let her. Its good for kids to have pets. It teaches responsibility, its calming. its someone to teach them about love and caring. A cat is less work than a hamster. Id seriously consider it.

Cats, IMO, are a much bigger commitment than a hamster. Plus add in the different life spans and that commitment is even greater.

My childhood cat lived to be 23 years old. I'd long since left home when it finally died - I'd left home about 14/15 years by the time it went.

Ours was a fairly low maintenance cat but it still needed looking after. And you were more constrained about going away for the weekend and for holidays as the cat had to be accounted for.

Hamster can be left for a weekend away to friends. Cat can't.

Hamster cost us about a £10 for a fortnight's holiday to go to the pet shop to be looked after. A cattery is dearer. Friends sometimes too our hamster if we were away. Less possibility of that with a cat.

@VimFuego101

What happens when she goes to uni? She probably won't be able to take the cat to halls/ shared student housing.

Who said she's going to uni?

We have a kitten at the moment, after losing our two elderly cats earlier this year. She is lovely but such hard work. Climbing the walls, climbing the curtains, trying to throw herself off of every tall bit of furniture she can find, trying to scratch and bite any dangling/loose clothes, chewing fingers and toes, trying to eat all the houseplants, and shattering a lamp. We got her at 12 weeks old, she's now 18 weeks. We've had cats for 20+ years but not a kitten for around 17 years and forgot just what a handful they are. I really don't think a 13 year old could handle the responsibility on their own so if you don't want to be looking after it, stick to your gut feeling and say no. Just while I've typed this our kitten has flung herself off the arm off the sofa and is now trying to scale the curtain because she's spotted a fly!

I would you insist you put your foot down. I speak from experience. We had a beautiful indoor cat - fur everywhere despite grooming, smell of litter and pee in the house (despite daily changing), constant worry/cost of cat sitter when we travelled (we travelled a lot), rug destroyed from pee, sofa destroyed from scratching. I didn’t use my lounge for 4 years as a result. This year, I made the difficult decision to rehome and it was the best thing I did for me and cat. DS was utterly heartbroken but I couldn’t live in the home with a cat any longer. It would have been different if an outdoor one but it wasn’t possible. If you know it won’t work, don’t do it.

A cat CAN be left for a weekend. It can be left on its own for a long weekend or, at a pinch, a week. They are largely self-sufficient. You can also take them with you on holiday if you need to.
If you want the easiest possible cat, get a shorthair middle-aged cat and allow it to go outdoors.
Choose it at the cat centre, so you know it has an easy personality.
It feels as though you are writing off the last 5 years of your DD's childhood - too late to get a cat, about to leave home!

My cat is 20. Just sayin.

Especially as you're the one doing all the grunt work in your household, I would tell her no - once and for all - and demand that she stop asking.
I can't stand pestering and trying to wear people down.

She can get herself a cat when she's old enough to move out.

I would seriously consider it. Have had a cat for the last decade... a one year old rescue from RSPCA, so we skipped the kitten and toilet training stage. The RSPCA will also give you an idea of the cat's personality and check that you seem to hit it off. This is important as the first cat we liked the look of was aloof and a bit tetchy when we met it, the second (now ours) was calmer, more relaxed and came to investigate and sit with us,

In ten years, she's never wee'd or poo'd in the house. Very clean and independent. We use dried food, so no mess. If occasionally she eats too fast/eats grass and brings it back, it's not great, but very quick and simple to clean up with kitchen towel and a bit of anti-bac spray. This might happen 3/4 times a year, not often.

Absolutely loves teen DD and spends hours on her bed. Great company for her in lockdown and after-school. DD's the only child at home now and that can be tough....the cat is like an extra sibling!

We have pet insurance (used twice and well worth it), a vaccination and worming plan with the vet and that's it. If we're away for a night or two, I leave her plenty of food and water and put a couple of litter trays down. Longer than that and she goes to a cattery. We could also opt to have someone pop in and feed her, it's not a big deal.

Honestly, what our cat has given us in company and enjoyment in having her around is ten-fold the time, money and effort put in. She's a member of the family and will be part of my daughter's childhood and memories forever.

I would give it some more thought. I too might be put off by the kitten thing (though it doesn't last forever), but a slightly older rescue cat might swing the balance away from hard work towards enjoyment!

Let her have her kitten! My mum finally relented when I was 11 and I still remember the utter joy. Obviously she fell madly in love with him just as much as me 😻