Dd age 13 wants a cat but I dont

[chasegirl]

Her friends cat has just had kittens and Dd is on a mission to break me down so I say yes. She's made all the promises about cleaning and feeding and it would be her cat.

Help me stay strong! Anyone hit a cast iron argument for saying no?

Just say no, OP. If you don't want a cat, don't get one, because you're right that it will be YOU looking after it while your DD is at school, at her dad's, at her friend's, at uni, etc. The cat I had as a child lived to be nearly 20. That's a very long time to be looking after and paying for a pet you never wanted in the first place.

It's a huge commitment - my childhood pet stayed with my parents when I went off to university.

If you wouldn't be happy looking after the cat as DD gets older I'd think twice about it.

As much as they say they will do some it will fall to you. DD has been after rabbits for years (we are both massively allergic to cats) and I said yes when I was ready for them and had the time to spend and look after them

Dont do it

Kittens are the worst. The little bastards are awfully cute.

But, does she want the kitten or the cat? They grow up and are less cute and fun. (Mine is almost as, but I digress... )

I got DS a cat when he was a young child because I also wanted one, and I love my his cat.

If you're not on board it's a no, and that should be enough.

Get her a hamster, they only live for about 4 years which is a more appropriate responsibility at her age.

I love cats, I would have all the cats. BUT I would not advise you to get one unless you want one. My childhood cat lived to be 19. Is your daughter really up for that length of commitment? There will probably be some period where she moves and can’t take the cat with her, and then you will be looking after it. Maybe you will love the cat by that point, but maybe you won’t,

And it’s a right pain in the arse finding a houseshare with a cat, I imagine that’s only got worse since I left home. Unless you are up for 20 years of having a cat, don’t get a kitten.

A cat is such an easy pet, especially if it is allowed outside. Id let her. Its good for kids to have pets. It teaches responsibility, its calming. its someone to teach them about love and caring. A cat is less work than a hamster.
Id seriously consider it.

A cat is less work than a hamster.

Having looked after both cats and hamsters, I don’t agree at all that hamsters are more work.

Hamsters don’t need regular vaccinations. Hamsters only need feeding once a day.
Hamsters hardly ever need the vet and if they do, it’s cheap.
Hamsters don’t live for nearly twenty years.
Hamsters don’t shred your furniture.

I doubt if the promise will be kept, though only you know your DD. Also if you don't like cats, that is enough.

Just say no. In 5 years she will leave home and you are stuck with a cat! Trust me, we are stuck with dp's DD's cat

If you aren't fully onboard @chasegirl then you'll have to be firm here.

We got a kitten just before Christmas (much wanted by us all and we are a "cat" house having lost out older girl several months before) and fuck me he is hard work.

We all love him dearly and wouldn't be without him but the majority of cat work falls to me. I'm WFH so I'm his default human mummy

My DD begged us to get a dog for 3 years after our last one died. She made a presentation and offered to help pay towards him from her pocket money, promised she’d walk him every day, all the usual.

We did get one, because it was the right time for us and we wanted him desperately. But DD only did what she promised for a few months before it wore off!

Definitely never get an animal you don’t want and aren’t prepared to be totally responsible for.

A cat is a lovely addition to a home and family but you do all need to be up for it. My husband isn't a cat fan but he's still the one who's up first so feeds her every morning but I do everything else.
Things to talk to dd about:-
Possibility of damage to sofas carpets etc
Possible fleas
Makes spontaneous trips difficult (unless you've got a good neighbour who's happy to pop in)
But I love our cat and don't regret anything about getting her !!

My experience is kids get bored of hamsters almost immediately and I was the one having to clean it out, play with the poor little thing as none else did 😥whereas a cat is part of the family and everyone fusses around it even if they're not the ones doing vet trips, administering worm tablets or cleaning out the litter tray (or burying dead birds )

Sorry final point:
Kittens are a lot of work - we had kittens that pooed everywhere and jumped on kitchen surfaces etc etc
We now have a lovely rescue cat we adopted as an adult cat and she is so well behaved and far far easier than kittens

My parents refused to allow any animals in the house and I hated that as I've always loved animals.
I left home as soon as possible and have always had loads of pets including cats.
My son's life, when he was a child, he's40 now, was totally enriched by having cats, he has lots of cats too now he's left home.
He was shy and awkward as a teenager and they really brought him out of his shell.

Pets are a big responsibility, and if you don't have the emotional, financial and moral means to take on a kitten until it dies, then don't.
What happens when your daughter loses interest?

Yanbu. We had a dog FYI and a rabbit abs I regret the rabbit though it's lovely.

Dd2 wants a cat. I have been clear I can't deal with a litter tray and I can't afford a chattery when we go away. The dog goes with us and the rabbit costs £3 a night. As I said I regret the rabbit.

I'm not taking on a pet that shits indoors.

Wow some of your cats sound like hard work!

We have a 10 year old cat adopted from Cats Protection when she was 6 months old. She’s a dream, she’s NEVER pooed or weed indoors, she goes outside and buries it, prefers that to her litter tray.

We do get mice and occasionally birds, that’s definitely the worst part.

She has a sweet affectionate nature and dds 1 and 3 totally adore her.

And she’s much less work than our guinea pig who poos for England!

Maybe we’re just lucky with our cat 🤷‍♀️

First reply nailed it with "I don't want one DD". Same thing in our house, including DD going to her Dad's regularly (where she has a dog!).

DD complains my attitude is confusing because I love cats. I've made some explanations e.g. practicalities here, but fundamentally believe it's an example of showing her that it's okay for all of us to want what we want, and in this case it is my final decision not hers.

Not wanting one is a good enough reason. I could send you pictures of our clawed door frames, couch, stained carpets, piles of sick I find some mornings etc. if it would make it easier for you? That is all aside from the cat who had bladder issues (later operated on) who would pee on anything soft so curtains, clothes on the floor, blankets...

“When you’re a grown up in your own house you can do what you like. I don’t want a cat so we aren’t getting one”.

OMG just back to say this thread jinxed my cat.

The boy obviously overheard me typing about how low maintenance he was and planned a spending spree.

Thats half a grand down the drain tomorrow on General anaesthetic surgery for a suspected grass frond lodged in his throat.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow!