What's the most trivial thing you've been told you're doing "wrong"

[BruceAndNosh]

Apparently not using the entire individual hotel mini tub of marmalade to cover 2 slices of toast is "weird".
I like toast with a SMALL amount of marmalade - this makes me odd it seems

The sandwich tastes better if cut in triangles because you get less crust per bite with triangles.

Cutting onions by my MIL when me and then DP (now DH) had not long been together. I worked in a cafe at the time and they seemed perfectly satisfied with my chopping skills.

Saying words: rant, jaguar and cougar in particular. Plus a few others that I can't remember. DH is incredulous every time.

@RedRec

I never zip up or close my handbags. Have never had any problems because of it in my 58 years on this planet. And yet I get older women pointing it out to me and warning of dire consequences. I smile sweetly and say thank you despite wanting to tell them to F off and mind their own business.

My mum had her purse stolen out of her handbag by a pickpocket once, so I'm inclined to disagree with you on this one, sorry!

You need to make it as difficult as possible for the bastards.

Eating a meal by an ex a long time ago. Apparently not smushing a bit of every component part onto my fork at once was doing it wrong.

Holding my pen by an old colleague. It’s in my hand. My writing is legible. I am comfortable. What is the issue?

A random woman once stopped me when it was raining to tell me that I was holding my umbrella wrong.

I'd been stupidly just holding it so as to keep as much rain off me as possible.

@SlipperyDippery

Apparently I pour champagne/prosecco/whatever fizz I’m drinking holding the wrong part of the bottle!

Next time you’re told this, stop pouring immediately, assume they don’t want any Prosecco, go and get yourself a straw, job done. 😁

Watering thirsty drooping plants at lunchtime on a boiling hot day in midsummer - oh yes, lets wait another 6 hours by which time half of them will be dead. confused
The cantankerous old git is right. Plants should never be watered when they're in full sun especially on a boiling hot day. The hot water will affect the roots.
Water them before or after the sun is full on them.

My ex once told me I was making custard all wrong, because I didn't do it the same way as his mum did.

I mean - how many ways can there be to make custard by following the instructions on a tin of Birds custard powder?

Ex H complained about the way I'd put the laundry on the airer. Followed by a spot of mansplaining, naturally.

Walking. According to my mother, I walk wrongly- my toes turn outwards or something and I have failed to master elegant walking. I look like a bloody farmer's wife (direct quote!).

I actually am a bloody farmer's wife now, but I've been told that since I was about 8.

@Dippydinosaurus

Using a stapler. Worked in a solicitor's office for a few months after I left school. Stapled sheets together but apparently it was wrong as they were stapled diagonally. The staple had to be parallel to the paper. I still think of it 25 years later every time I use one. I staple diagonally 😁

Diagonally is the way to do it. Anything else is just weird.

@Fuckingcrustybread

Watering thirsty drooping plants at lunchtime on a boiling hot day in midsummer - oh yes, lets wait another 6 hours by which time half of them will be dead. confused The cantankerous old git is right. Plants should never be watered when they're in full sun especially on a boiling hot day. The hot water will affect the roots. Water them before or after the sun is full on them.

Why would the water be hot? If left, the plants would be likely to die. You shouldn't water the actual plant, only the soil, but watering is fine if the plant is wilting. How do you think plants manage in the tropics?

Having an orgasm.

@Hellocatshome

According to DH I sleep wrong. Apparently all my arms and legs either have to be inside or outside of the duvet I cant mix and match.

This cracked me up! He's definitely in the wrong, I often have one arm out or one leg but prefer to be 'safe' under the covers

*According to DH I sleep wrong. Apparently all my arms and legs either have to be inside or outside of the duvet I cant mix and match.

This cracked me up! He's definitely in the wrong, I often have one arm out or one leg but prefer to be 'safe' under the covers*

Exactly! If you are all on top of the covers then then they can get you!

I found out thanks to MN I'd spent the majority of my life opening oxo cubes wrong so I now do it the 'right' way.

Life changing!

A standing joke between my friend and me is tomato slicing, it's difficult to explain I slice from the top so the circles have the stalk in the middle she slices from the side so one slice has the stalk bit, if you see what I mean.

I, of course, do it the right way!

Oh yes apparently - according to exh - I say 'water' wrong.

@Hellocatshome

According to DH I sleep wrong. Apparently all my arms and legs either have to be inside or outside of the duvet I cant mix and match.

Your DH is weird! One leg and one arm has to be out

That I should only put a 5p size amount of ketchup onto a kids plate in a school I worked in on work experience aged 16. I bloody hated it there I lasted 2 days it was shit.

@iklboo

I shouldn't have driven up to the third level of the multi storey car park as going uphill is bad for the car.

That one is hilarious. How does he think people in hilly places cope?

He also managed to miss the fact that there were no sodding spaces on the lower levels.

Oh, and he said that giving way to the right on a roundabout is "an old wives tale"
I'm just thankful that he can't drive tbh.

@burritofan

From terrible ex: cutting a pepper into strips. Apparently his is the correct way and my way, which results in identical strips of pepper, is wrong.

From a colleague, once, but never again after my death stare: copying and pasting with Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V instead of clicking on the menu and choosing the option. Which is “safer”

Hahaha - safer????? How would it be safer?

I open the oven wrong (with the handle). Apparently, I should use the side of the door, otherwise I will wear out the handle.

@hippidyhiphip

I put the trolly the wrong way round at the Aldi checkout! I still panic now that I'm doing it wrong!

Gosh thought it was just me!! Lady in the till quickly spun it around and told me it’s that way for a reason! I just don’t put it against it at all now!