I feel so sad this evening

[tunnocksreturns2019]

My DC had a totally, utterly, wonderful father. He shouldn’t have died when they were 7 and 5. The gap in particularly my eldest’s life is cavernous right now. DH was the love of my life but that’s by the by right now - what my DC have lost breaks my heart.

I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry op. What was your DH like? I would love to know a bit more about him

Really so sorry for your loss

Thank you. Father’s Day is a stupid day. It just makes lots of people cry.

[awaits lots of ‘on the contrary’ messages from people who’ve had a lovely time today, despite this not being AIBU 🤣]

That’s heartbreaking I’m so sorry.

I remember your story Tunnocks, and you and your children are in my thoughts often.

I hope life is kinder to you all.

Well in summary he was the opposite of all the men featured on the ‘Relationships’ board 🤣

I was very fortunate and then I was very not because he got cancer and died.

I’m so sorry for your loss OP. They know how much their dad loved them, his kind and gentle spirit will live on through your children. What a wonderful caring mother they have to raise them too. It’s such a hard day for you today, let yourself feel whatever you need to xx

@CormoranStrike

I remember your story Tunnocks, and you and your children are in my thoughts often.

I hope life is kinder to you all.

Bless you thank you.

Life is a bit shit at the moment. My eldest is having a hellish first year at secondary; we desperately need him to try medication for inattentive ADHD but can’t get our latest paediatrician appt, not even when I accidentally cried on the phone last week.

He is seemingly being diagnosed rather late because he is polite and quiet and his problems only impact himself/our family life. So that’s okay then

I’m so sorry x these “ special “days are so hard for so many people
My lovely adult stepdaughters still get terribly upset on Mother’s Day, my husband said when they were young they used to get so upset not having a mum to give a card to.
I’ve worked with so many people over the years who have hated these days for so many reasons.
Hope you all got through the day ok, I do remember reading your threads in the past.

@ikeepseeingit

I’m so sorry for your loss OP. They know how much their dad loved them, his kind and gentle spirit will live on through your children. What a wonderful caring mother they have to raise them too. It’s such a hard day for you today, let yourself feel whatever you need to xx

Thank you. Tonight I feel angry, and inadequate.

@Knittingnanny

I’m so sorry x these “ special “days are so hard for so many people My lovely adult stepdaughters still get terribly upset on Mother’s Day, my husband said when they were young they used to get so upset not having a mum to give a card to. I’ve worked with so many people over the years who have hated these days for so many reasons. Hope you all got through the day ok, I do remember reading your threads in the past.

My DD made, in all honesty, the most fantastic card for her cat! Her teacher is awesome, she came out of school all proud with her card. She said some classmates made cards for grandparents or friends.

I'm so sorry for your loss op!! Sounds as if he was a fantastic dad and partner.

That’s harsh for you and your son - I hope he gets all the counselling and treatment possible.

Is going private an option for you? And would it speed things up?

In a similar boat here OP - sending a hand hold.

Me and DH were having a conversation about this earlier, I've lost both my parents (when I was 21 and 28) and he has lost his dad, Mother's Day and Father's Day always hold a little sadness because of that. The sadness does over the years fade a little if that's any comfort.

Hugs for you and your sweet children

Oh, and do you know when I think of your family @tunnocksreturns2019 ?

At the risk of sounding like a stalker, I remember a tiny part of his journey and I think of him whenever I go out cycling. I remember you telling us that he cycled to his post op treatment with staples in his head and the docs were amazed, but he was generally feeling so well and wanted to be out on his bike.

So, when I am cycling and the sun is out and I can hear birds in the trees etc, your DH pops into my head and I count my blessings.

@CormoranStrike

Oh, and do you know when I think of your family *@tunnocksreturns2019* ?

At the risk of sounding like a stalker, I remember a tiny part of his journey and I think of him whenever I go out cycling. I remember you telling us that he cycled to his post op treatment with staples in his head and the docs were amazed, but he was generally feeling so well and wanted to be out on his bike.

So, when I am cycling and the sun is out and I can hear birds in the trees etc, your DH pops into my head and I count my blessings.

he would like that. I am confident he is cycling through eternity.

@CormoranStrike

That’s harsh for you and your son - I hope he gets all the counselling and treatment possible.

Is going private an option for you? And would it speed things up?

No looks like best to stay in NHS round here. They’ll be sick of me calling soon and weaken

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo

Me and DH were having a conversation about this earlier, I've lost both my parents (when I was 21 and 28) and he has lost his dad, Mother's Day and Father's Day always hold a little sadness because of that. The sadness does over the years fade a little if that's any comfort.

Hugs for you and your sweet children

Yes today I am sad for my DC and for my DH - he would’ve adored watching them grow up and is exactly the support we all need right now. Exactly. Which is gutting. Lots of problems we simply wouldn’t be facing; others that would be much easier to deal with. Sigh.

I shall be loving back on to counting my blessings at 11.10pm so don’t panic everyone 🤣

*moving back on

@Mischance

In a similar boat here OP - sending a hand hold.

Bless you. It’s not fair. I hope you are getting through okay. Sending fortitude.

Hi Tunnocks. My mother lost the love of her life 53 years ago - when I was 6 years old. I'm one of 4 siblings and our ages ranged from 10 to 3 when our dad died. This was in the 60s and things were handled differently then. All I can advise is to talk to your children about their father, to ask them about their feelings and to keep his memory alive. My eldest sister told me, not that long ago, that she was crying at school and wondering to herself 'do they know?' as our father was hardly mentioned after he passed.

You sound like a lovely mum and I'm sure you and your children will come through this together. There are charities for children who have lost a parent, so maybe look into those 💐

@TiltTopTable

Hi Tunnocks. My mother lost the love of her life 53 years ago - when I was 6 years old. I'm one of 4 siblings and our ages ranged from 10 to 3 when our dad died. This was in the 60s and things were handled differently then. All I can advise is to talk to your children about their father, to ask them about their feelings and to keep his memory alive. My eldest sister told me, not that long ago, that she was crying at school and wondering to herself 'do they know?' as our father was hardly mentioned after he passed.

You sound like a lovely mum and I'm sure you and your children will come through this together. There are charities for children who have lost a parent, so maybe look into those 💐

Yes we talk about him often as do our friends and family. To be honest he comes up in conversation daily. It’s natural and easy for us, which must be a good thing.

This is my first fathers day without my dad , although its different circumstances I feel for you OP. Sending 💐 and to you and your children a big big hug