What strong opinions did you have that have changed over time (10 years+)?

[3rdcircle]

I remember chatting to someone in the pub (in pre-Covid times!) who said "ah, you'll change your mind when you're older" and thinking how patronising that was. As it stands, a lot of my opinions haven't changed over time and there are still some hills I'm prepared to die on. But there are some things where I've had a total 180! Are there any opinions you held really strongly in your youth that you no longer subscribe to?

I'll start.

• I want to get married ==> I never want to get married, and in fact, I'd quite like to be in a long-term committed relationship that involves living in separate houses. When I was younger, my guilty secret was I really liked the idea of being proposed to, and planning a wedding. Now, I see marriage as a contract that takes away half my wealth, and I like myself and my personal space too much to share it full-time.

• I'll eat anything ==> I don't eat meat. I ate it when I was younger, all the way through adulthood, and I always knew where my meat came from. One day I woke up and felt really squeamish about handling raw meat and eating dead animals, so I started eating vegetarian food only. I'm a bit perplexed as to why I've had this sudden change, given I remember the taste of meat and like that memory and I don't have any strong beliefs regarding animal rights or the environment. I like animals and not having global warming as much as the next person, but there's nothing in my belief system that would make you think I wouldn't eat meat!

• Mature students are weird ==> mature students are amazing. I could never understand the people in their 30s and 40s in my classes at uni. Now, as a more enlightened grown up, I think mature students are incredible. It's easy to go straight from school to uni, but studying when you're older - especially if it's not a first degree - typically involves a lot of sacrifices. When you're 18, you often have the option of running home to your mum and dad; when you're 40, you typically have a mortgage to pay for and may not be eligible for financing.

Anyone else?

I was all “no plastic toys”. Until I realised that wooden toys were easily broken and ruined in the rain. We had several expensive items that cracked or went mouldy. After that we bought plastic! Ditto the bamboo tableware that only lasted a couple of months before it cracked - compared to plastic which lasts for years.

I used to be a Conservative voter when I was younger. My attitudes have definitely shifted to the left. I think it's only as you get older that things aren't necessarily black and white.

I won't ket my DD have Barbie or other pink crap which stereotypes women and girls.

DD got a Barbie as a gift when she was 3 and loved it, spent her life in Disney Princess dresses (even crying when she wasn't allowed to wear her Snow White dress to school) and loved anything pink.

She's still managed to grow into an amazingly sensible late teen who has no interest in pink crap.

My attitude towards cross dressing

Late 1980's clothes shopping with my mother, we saw a man trying on formal dresses in a department store. We were both shocked and even notified the store security, as it just seemed so odd back then.

I have forever felt terrible for that man and wish I could go back and appologise.

I hated the EU 20 years ago. I thought it was too expensive and unaccountable. I remember watching a UKIP DVD someone had posted through the letterbox and thinking how terrible it was that we sent the EU vast sums of money.

I even disliked the EU when I was living and working in the Netherlands as a young adult. It didn’t even occur to me that my freedom of movement was dependent on the UK’s EU membership. It also took me a long time to realise the economic benefits of being in the EU, and the benefits of having a voice and a vote in a large trading bloc.

I’m not a feminist - a belief I held at university as I (wrongly) thought we’d achieved equality, so it wasn’t a necessary ‘cause’ to expend energy on.

6 months into my first corporate (and male dominated) job changed my mind pretty quickly. Now I’m just depressed how unbalanced society still is in 2021 and I fear my daughters will be reflecting on the same thing in 20 years’ time.

Religion -Went to church 9 years ago. I am now an atheist.

One and Done - Definitely thought I wanted a big family but now am certain I don't.

@OnASwankyMarleyPond
This is more or less what I thought of too!
I wouldn't have wanted to say I was or wasn't a feminist 25 years ago as a student - I thought we were past all that and felt equal with my male contemporaries and that feminism was unnecessary.
I have teenage daughters now, and I'm not sure things aren't worse for them than they were for us. How wrong I was.

I'm not sure if my opinons have changed, but sadly there is nothing I now feel strongly enough about that I would march for.

I was a determined, passionate marcher for causes in my teens and uni days. Now I watch demonstrations and wonder how people can actually get excited enough about this, when it's pointless and nothing will change.

That is one of the things about growing old, for me.

I thought I wanted an exciting life full of living on my wits, but now I think a season of that is good but a lifetime of it perhaps too stressful.

I'd have put trans issues firmly into my "you're a liberal lefty so you approve" box.

I don't.

@3rdcircle exactly the same as you with weddings. I was the queen of fantasy wedding planning.

Now I can't see me even having a relationship in the near future. If I did, it would be separate houses with no financial or legal ties.

I was very pro EU, or common market as it was known when I first voted for it. Gradually became disillusioned but voted remain. Now very glad we got out of there.
Was very left wing, political, feminist in my youth, actually still am but I have zero loyalty to party or politician, much more pragmatic and will vote for the person rather than the party.

That I would always be vegetarian. A freakishly restrictive partner, abject poverty, health issues from malnutrition and the kind offer of free food from somebody who had suspected all was not well when we split up (I had been left with an income of £7.20 a week for all bills, never mind eating, as my punishment was for him to consistently and deliberately fuck up my benefit claim by getting it stopped/suspended pending investigation for months on end) quickly put me off vegetarianism, especially when the first month's guilt and shame about being such a foul creature that I ate meat once a week my only proper meal faded away when I realised just how much better I felt when having chicken rather than tinned chickpeas.

The other one that's changed is that I'm not worthless/stupid/ugly/unlikeable. That took much longer - and DP had to show up in my life to change it.

As a teen, I used to think that people whose toddlers were misbehaving in public/having a tantrum were just bad parents 🙄 I don't even have a toddler yet and I know how very wrong I was!

Also, when I was 16, I remember thinking 24 was old! I've definitely changed my mind about that one.

Like a couple of previous posters, when very young I thought the battle of the sexes had been won and we no longer needed feminism.

I thought most people were basically well intentioned and cared about others. The result of the Brexit referendum was a horrible shock from which I have not recovered.

I thought people who were “woke” or “PC” were all nice, caring people who wanted to make sure everyone was treated fairly and respectfully.

So really, I was a complete eejit. I miss my naive younger days though. I feel sad and cynical now.

That if you work hard in your job you will be rewarded No You often have to self promote or get in with the right people Also protect your ideas as they may be nicked by your boss and passed off as his/hers

I thought I was a people person but I have realised I hate far more of them than I like

I agree about the feminism as well actually. When I was growing up I thought that of course women could achieve the same things as men because we have equality.

Now my family describe me as a bit of a man hating feminist

I wouldn't say I hate men. But I am utterly sick and tired of them not being held accountable and women paying the price.

I worry for DD because it doesn't seem like the patriarchy is going anywhere.

Another one here who thought the "battle of the sexes" had been won. I'm now mid-30s and see what's happening to female friends when they want to start a family (or, more accurately, when they want to return to work one or more children in).

Britain... I moved to the UK just over a decade ago, absolutely determined to build my life here in a place I associated with peace, tolerance, outward-looking politics, a functioning state... I may well leave in the near future. Very sad about it.

This is such an interesting thread!

I was liberal lefty and didn't mind the EU. Even voted remain, halfheartedly albeit. Now I am so pleased we left and vote conservative usually. Although the latter bit is perhaps slightly more to do with the development of Labour over the years than my own development.

I'm not sure if my opinons have changed, but sadly there is nothing I now feel strongly enough about that I would march for.

This is me. I watched the bringing down of the Colston statue in Bristol and they interviewed a couple of women in their 60s. 'Where are all you oldies' she cried 'you should be here too' . Well actually I was at home watching in horror at the civil disobedience as opposed to (potentially) getting arrested and losing my job! For a cause that is, tbh, a long way down the list of things I feel strongly about.

Many years ago I used to believe in astrology. Now I know it is bollocks, but still love it that my best girlfriends are Virgos and Librans. And love a Leo man

Yep. I voted remain and now I’m glad we left.