What strong opinions did you have that have changed over time (10 years+)?

[3rdcircle]

I remember chatting to someone in the pub (in pre-Covid times!) who said "ah, you'll change your mind when you're older" and thinking how patronising that was. As it stands, a lot of my opinions haven't changed over time and there are still some hills I'm prepared to die on. But there are some things where I've had a total 180! Are there any opinions you held really strongly in your youth that you no longer subscribe to?

I'll start.

• I want to get married ==> I never want to get married, and in fact, I'd quite like to be in a long-term committed relationship that involves living in separate houses. When I was younger, my guilty secret was I really liked the idea of being proposed to, and planning a wedding. Now, I see marriage as a contract that takes away half my wealth, and I like myself and my personal space too much to share it full-time.

• I'll eat anything ==> I don't eat meat. I ate it when I was younger, all the way through adulthood, and I always knew where my meat came from. One day I woke up and felt really squeamish about handling raw meat and eating dead animals, so I started eating vegetarian food only. I'm a bit perplexed as to why I've had this sudden change, given I remember the taste of meat and like that memory and I don't have any strong beliefs regarding animal rights or the environment. I like animals and not having global warming as much as the next person, but there's nothing in my belief system that would make you think I wouldn't eat meat!

• Mature students are weird ==> mature students are amazing. I could never understand the people in their 30s and 40s in my classes at uni. Now, as a more enlightened grown up, I think mature students are incredible. It's easy to go straight from school to uni, but studying when you're older - especially if it's not a first degree - typically involves a lot of sacrifices. When you're 18, you often have the option of running home to your mum and dad; when you're 40, you typically have a mortgage to pay for and may not be eligible for financing.

Anyone else?

I used to believe that nurture was much more important than nature in terms of achievement and personality. I now believe that while nurture is very important, nature sets a lot in stone by the time of birth.

Great thread, so much of this resonates with me too.

I was out and proud bisexual teen in the 90s, dated girls and boys, went to pride, loved drag.

Now watching past-it old males take Olympic spots off girls cause 'lady brain' and 'feelings' and 'be kind'. I feel sick, angry & deceived - not proud at all.

A career utterly fucked because I had kids - yeah no such thing as have it all - there's just do it all for much less money.

The UK - felt like the best place in the world to be in 2000 - now we're plague island, not allowed to go anywhere even if we want to.

Trickle down economics has presided over the greatest gush up in wealth the world has ever seen. Billionaires have more power than some governments. And 99% of billionaires are middle class white males, so there's no prizes for guessing who they're out to support.

Welcome to the utterly unequal, porn soaked, environment destroying, empty virtue signalling 2020s. Dystopian.

I thought I would want to be a stay at home mum. Turns out that isn’t the case at all - I am a total workaholic who feels horribly guilty about how much I work.

I thought that we had equality between men and women probably because I went to an all girl’s school and at university it still felt like things were pretty equal. More fool me.

I like olives now.

The thing is I would say I have really strong feminist views now, that I didn't have 10 years ago. Feminism wasn't even on my radar 10 years ago.

I tried (and failed) to be a vegan. I think 10 years ago I would have been shocked that future me would try to be a vegan. Also would probably be pleasantly surprised I don't drink alcohol.

Abortion, I've never ever been agaisnt it but I was more pro life from experience but now again, I'm definitely more in favour of it. The balance definitely tipped.
Similarly with supporting giving life to any child even if that child would have profound disability. We can't keep these dc safe so again I'm more pro aborting.
Not speaking to family, I always thought events and time might bring people together and it would be cruel to cut out grandparents etc but now again from (bitter) experiences I see that some times it's impossible to be around some people.

Covid contols made me appreciate Libertarian viewpoints. Never thought that could happen.

When I was expecting DC1-2, I thought i'd never abort for chromosome defects -- exact opposite viewpoint for DC3-4.

Always expected to work FT as a parent until I was 33 weeks pg with DC1; ended up being a SAHM for many yrs.

I used to think I was a feminist but the debates on MN have completely put me off and made me realise I don't belong -- I am definitely not in your club at all and never could be.

Definitely feminism. Abortion I used to have a different view on - I used to think that a woman 'shouldn't' have one unless she has been raped or for medical reasons, I even wrote an essay about it for one of my uni assignments (and did quite well on it!), but now I am completely pro-choice.

I used to think that feminism was no longer needed. I used to think that girls and boys were 'naturally' different eg. Girls 'naturally' like pink, sparkly stuff and boys 'naturally' like football and short hair. I used to think that women lied about being raped a lot.

On a completely different note, I used to think that dummies looked chavvy and were for lazy parents and that I would never use one, and certainly my 2/3 year old child would never have one! 😂

Used to be very much "be kind" and "how does it affect you" with regards to the transgender issue.

These days I've done a 180 and have more understanding of single sex spaces, the fear some women have of men due to rape, harrasment and domestic violence. I'm embarrassed for the way I told my mum she was ridiculous for not wanting to share toilets with transwomen. I now understand that not all women feel as strong as me (I'm quite a powerfully built female) and with age has come greater understanding that not everyone is a lucky or confident as me. I always thought that transwomen in sport would be "that would never happen" but yeh...well.

I've always hated gender stereotypes and realised about two years ago that the current transgender "activists" fully subscribe to gender stereotypes.

So ....gender atheist these days.

Haha the dummy one was me too !

Years ago a neighbour sadly took his own life leaving behind a devastated family.

For a long time I thought that was a very selfish act. Nowadays I realise he was ill and needed help 😞

I was a lefty all through my youth, then i started to see that they were just as hypocritical as all the others! It all went wrong with tony blair! Now i will vote for the candidate with the best agenda, that never happens to be a Labour candidate.

Definitely NEVER wanted to have children, horrible noisy bratty pointless things that take away your freedom and ruin your relationship

• DH and I are undergoing IVF and are so so hopeful 🤞🏻

Definitely NEVER wanted to get married, loved my independence, space, freedom, time to myself too much to commit to a man in that way

• met DH four years ago and got engaged three months later, have never been happier, I love being married !

Good luck, OrangeBlossomMacaron.

15 years ago I would have insisted that with hard work and ambition it's possible to drag yourself out of poverty and move up the social scale. I now realise that is incredibly hard and in a lot of circumstances pretty much impossible.

I think it's partly my attitude that's changed and partly that social mobility is disappearing rapidly.

@35andThriving

Good luck, OrangeBlossomMacaron.

😊 thank you!