There are two strangers sat in my garden eating their dinner

[Scrowy]

I've told them it's private property and not part of the footpath that passes next to it. Apparently they will be on their way soon.

I've now chickened out of saying anything else but I'm passive aggressively watering the hanging baskets about 5m away from them and they are very deliberately not making eye contact with me.

@PanamaPattie

Get your hose out and start watering them.

Just what I was going to say..

If you don’t want a fence you at least need stay off the grass/private property signs on the grass.

@Bluntness100 - remember the thread well!

Which side of the wall were they sitting on? You need a diagram. If they sat on a bank outside a wall enclosing your garden that was understandable, if inside the wall they knew and were CF. Either way they should have moved when told.

I suspect it isn’t as clear as you think that it is private land.
I wouldnt necessarily assume grass adjacent to a footpath was private property tbh
I think you need a fence marking it as private property.

Pic or it didn’t happen!

I keep reading "get you hose out", as "get your hoRse out"

My friends had a farm - where I kept my horse(s) and when developed (by them) a public footpath remained and went right through it - and joined to gravel/driveable track that led off the property for about half a mile.
(I can do a diagram )
On one side was a post and rail paddock, so a fence, and the other just sloped down to the garden area of the new small farmhouse that my frriends had built for themselves when the development took place. It had massive patio doors, and stuffed fox sat on the table looking out. But there was no fence to separate the path and their garden area..... all the years I was there (about 14 I think), never did anyone - although a lot of dogs probably did - come onto the garden, or ever attempt to take a seat and have a picnic, even though a popular Ramblers' route. (We ourselves used it as a bridleway , but someone then barricaded the kissing gate at the other end and called the bloody Council.)

The best deterrent I think we had was a pair of geese; thay also made the place filthy, so not too nice to park your bum(s) on. I have seen people take a very very wide berth around them, even though they were all beak and flapping wings. It was quite funny, but I would have been afraid too. Lovely old Wanda and Plod xx

Yes we need a pic

If people always sit in the same place, a sign in that area saying ‘private property’ should be enough

I swears the pandemic really has brought outa whole new level of selfish Cheeky Fuckery in people.

@Bluntness100

Are either of them an elderly Korean lady?

You beat me to it!

The more ridiculously "polite" people try to be, the more people will continue to behave in inappropriate ways.

I half expect to start seeing threads about people rocking up, parking on your driveway, inviting themselves into your living room and asking what's for dinner, with some wet-blanket poster "not wanting to be rude."

You know drug gangs do this, "cuckoo" a person's home? They invite themselves in to stay 'for a night', which turns into two, then three, then all their mates move in and then they become violent and threaten the homeowner. Usually they target vulnerable people, but they could probably just try it anywhere where a "perfectly polite" little poppet hasn't got the heart to say no.

You can't picnic in someone's garden in a suburban town, arses parked behind the picket fence, next to the front door, and they can't do it on yours either. Move them on and learn not to be so drippy.

Diagram

My friend had a very similar setup, but the footpath ran alongside her fence. People just used to open her gate which was signed as private and had arrows indicating the direction of the footpath which was parallel to but not through the gate. They would walk into her garden and picnic on her lawn.

Her husband asked one group to move and they gave him some lip, so he shouted to her as she was closer to the house 'Can you go and fetch my shotgun?' and the group scarpered.
He didn't have a shotgun.

If its a grassy bank next to a footpath I can understand and as others have made the mistake it mustn't be that obvious.

@Scrowy

Diagram

You legend.

Ok so they weren’t actually on the footpath at all and just walked through the gate into the property, which is otherwise walled off?

@RubyFowler

If its a grassy bank next to a footpath I can understand and as others have made the mistake it mustn't be that obvious.

Forget that, I can see they've crossed the wall now.

I also came on to see if it was the elderly Korean lady and a friend...

OP should get an award for superb diagram.

Fence it ffs. !

!!

@ProperVexed

OP should get an award for superb diagram.

Yes, if there were MN awards and a Diagram of the Year category, you’d be my vote.

This happens to farmers all the time . Let it go this time and invest in a good fence. The police won’t do anything.

I don’t know if the diagram helps but given it happens a lot, it’s obviously not as clear to someone walking through who isn’t familiar with the property.

Small “private land” sign should do it?

I can see they've crossed a wall now.

No, they've crossed a line. Shotgun out.

I'm passive aggressively watering the hanging baskets.

I'd 'water' them. Preferably with boiling oil.

There are an awful lot of 'strangers trespassing in my garden' right now. What fresh hell is this, or is it a peculiarly COVID/lockdown phenomenon?