There are two strangers sat in my garden eating their dinner

[Scrowy]

I've told them it's private property and not part of the footpath that passes next to it. Apparently they will be on their way soon.

I've now chickened out of saying anything else but I'm passive aggressively watering the hanging baskets about 5m away from them and they are very deliberately not making eye contact with me.

[Cupidity]

Back in the mid 80s my mum took 6 year old me on a walk. We came across a beautiful little cafe, so sat down. A lady came out of the house and my mum ordered a coffee and a glass of squash for me.

It was only when she tried to pay that the lady explained we'd just randomly plonked ourselves down in her garden and she wasn't any kind of cafe. My mum was MORTIFIED, the lady thought it was hilarious and since she had coffee and squash she decided to go along with the request.

[MiddleClassProblem]

Oh ok, so they went left down the cart track but should have gone straight on. And there’s no sign on cart track?

I think so she is all you need as there is a wall.

Regardless, rude of them not to go when you spoke to them!

[Scrowy]

@DansMaPoche

We have a popular footpath pass right next to the house and I think people assume our garden is some kind of public park due to the footpath. This is not the first time it's happened (I regularly joke about putting out some picnic benches and charging) but it's the first time they haven't moved when asked...

Okay so this makes things a bit clearer. While I fully appreciate that it's annoying for you and these people should have moved on once told, how about you put a proper boundary up? It sounds as though it's very unclear where the public footpath ends and your garden starts. Instead of getting all passive aggressive with people who have made a mistake, make your own life a bit easier by preventing it from happening in the future. Don't buy benches, just get a fence.

The public footpath is where the public footpath is. It's basic countryside code that you only have right of access across the path and not the land either side of it.

Regardless of whether they thought it was a just bit of bank at the side of the road, a field, or a garden they had no real right to be there.

If they wanted a quick picnic on their walk and a sit down there's miles and miles of footpath within a minute or two walk they can do it on where they will bother no one. Why choose an (arguably) ambiguous looking spot right outside someone's window?

[MrsMackesy]

We live in a National Park and you have my sympathy, OP. Would you quickly like to borrow a bull or pack of very large lunch-stealing, slobbery dogs?

[DarcyLewis]

@AutoGroup

Most footpaths are through private land, that doesn't mean you can't stop for a picnic, or does it?

Have to admit I wouldn't do it in what is obviously a garden mind. TBH I always feel slightly uncomfortable when the footpath passes through a garden or farm yard. I know I have a right to be there, but it doesn't feel right to be there iyswim.

Er, yeah that is what it means? Unless you picnic literally on the footpath
You’re not allowed to go off the footpath into fields or gardens.

[Bluntness100]

@Cupidity

Back in the mid 80s my mum took 6 year old me on a walk. We came across a beautiful little cafe, so sat down. A lady came out of the house and my mum ordered a coffee and a glass of squash for me.

It was only when she tried to pay that the lady explained we'd just randomly plonked ourselves down in her garden and she wasn't any kind of cafe. My mum was MORTIFIED, the lady thought it was hilarious and since she had coffee and squash she decided to go along with the request.

That’s brilliant, good for her 😂😂😂

[Scrowy]

@MiddleClassProblem

Oh ok, so they went left down the cart track but should have gone straight on. And there’s no sign on cart track?

I think so she is all you need as there is a wall.

Regardless, rude of them not to go when you spoke to them!

The cart track is short and leads to a small paddock with angry looking freshly calves cows. It's very obviously not a footpath.

[Laiste]

@Scrowy

To be clear the bit I've labelled 'road, private farm track' IS a footpath, but one mostly used by locals as it's just a circular route from the village a few miles away to us.

The cart track is not a footpath.

OK so they've come through the cattle grid gate as if they are going to follow the foot path which is also the 'private farm track'. But they've gone onto the grassy bank and sat down.

You need a little wooden sign you can bang into the ground somewhere on the grassy bank saying
PRIVATE PROPERTY
NO PICNICS
PLEASE STAY ON THE FOOTPATH

[wonkylegs]

We have a large garden 1.6 acres which backs on to fields with a footpath that runs along the edge of the field. Our garden has a fence, wicker screen and a hedge, there is a 6ft high locked gate that gives us entry to the field. Since we have lived here we have caught numerous CFs climbing over the fence/hedge (not an easy task) and walking down our garden towards the house to cut through to the road. One was even caught nicking a plant she liked on her way through.
The last two DH caught actually halfway over the hedge and when he shouted at them they had the cheek to keep going until he managed to convince them that would be a mistake (he's a large man)
I'm surprised how little people respect boundaries in the countryside

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

You need a little wooden sign you can bang into the ground somewhere on the grassy bank saying
PRIVATE PROPERTY
NO PICNICS
PLEASE STAY ON THE FOOTPATH

This. Are you Cumbrian OP? I have only ever known fellow Cumbrians use the word scrow :)
Would the above solve your problem? I know you shouldn't have to, but...

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

Stick up an electric fence? Will keep the cows out of your garden too...

[MissLucyEyelesbarrow]

You can't threaten to turn a hose on them - that's potentially assault, even if you don't actually do it.

You can, however, say "I need to warn you that I'm about to water this bit of grass with a power hose. You might want to move so you don't get wet". I would have my phone on record, so that they can't assume you of having threatened them (it's perfectly legal to record someone without their consent in the UK).

[TellmewhoIam]

They should have left as soon as their mistake was pointed out. It's a pity to have to build walls or put up fences. A few signs, yes...

[TheSockMonster]

10/10 for the diagram!

I can see how the directionally challenged might accidentally end up in your garden. However, any response other than embarrassed apology and moving on is definite cheeky fuckery.

I think I’d go for a cheery “you’re brave, that bank is absolutely infested with ticks this time of year”

[PicsInRed]

Some people really have read too much Famous Five.

[bridgetreilly]

Public footpaths are for walking only. Not for sitting and certainly not for picnicking. OP, I would definitely put up a sign, since this is happening regularly. The more it happens, the more other people will assume it’s fine.

[Scrowy]

@MrsMackesy

We live in a National Park and you have my sympathy, OP. Would you quickly like to borrow a bull or pack of very large lunch-stealing, slobbery dogs?

No need, I have three bulls and more than enough slobbery filthy dogs already

[bridgetreilly]

Unless you picnic literally on the footpath

Nope, this isn’t allowed either. Eating while walking is okay, but sitting is not. Footpaths are for walking. The law is very clear.

[MrsMackesy]

Yes, but do they speak Korean?

[EarthSight]

@Scrowy

I've told them it's private property and not part of the footpath that passes next to it. Apparently they will be on their way soon.

I've now chickened out of saying anything else but I'm passive aggressively watering the hanging baskets about 5m away from them and they are very deliberately not making eye contact with me.

Tell them you're calling the police. They're taking the absolute piss. Can't imagine saying this to a house owner.

[EarthSight]

Also, get the hose out and hose them down.

[EarthSight]

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

You can't threaten to turn a hose on them - that's potentially assault, even if you don't actually do it.

You can, however, say "I need to warn you that I'm about to water this bit of grass with a power hose. You might want to move so you don't get wet". I would have my phone on record, so that they can't assume you of having threatened them (it's perfectly legal to record someone without their consent in the UK).

Getting someone wet classes as assault??

[ArcheryAnnie]

@Cupidity

Back in the mid 80s my mum took 6 year old me on a walk. We came across a beautiful little cafe, so sat down. A lady came out of the house and my mum ordered a coffee and a glass of squash for me.

It was only when she tried to pay that the lady explained we'd just randomly plonked ourselves down in her garden and she wasn't any kind of cafe. My mum was MORTIFIED, the lady thought it was hilarious and since she had coffee and squash she decided to go along with the request.

This is magnificent. I am in awe of that lady with the house.

[CityCommuter]

@Scrowy do a Peggy Mitchell (Eastenders) and tell them to 'get outta my pub'!

[Justilou1]

I would suggest geese or swans. Even peacocks. Bitey fuckers, all.