Why do worries feel so so so much worse at night?

[CheerDays]

Heart pounding, feel sick, feel sad.

Same anxiety as earlier today but all reels unbearable now. Why?!

*all feels

Because you're alone, in the dark and there's nothing you can do to address most problems until business hours start at 9am Monday morning.

Weekends are a bastard too.

@Gingernaut it’s exhausting! I cope much differently in the day. It’s like this sheet of darkness is over me (and not the sky)

Maybe writing it down will help?

Write your worry down on a list marked 'tomorrow'. When you wake up and see the thing you want to 'fix' decide if it's something that can be done (or started on) today. If not, leave it on the 'tomorrow' list.

You need to try and switch off your mind. I know that's easier said than done but what makes you really lose yourself. For me it's thinking of something I really want to but and searching for it online, maybe searching for discount codes. Sometimes a really interesting thread on mn, and sometimes looking at houses on rightmove 😂.

Thanks so much @Iminaglasscaseofemotion and @MargotMoon

Tonight feels really hard. Will give internet shopping a go!

I think having identified how much worse you feel at night is helpful in itself (honestly, it took me ages to do this!) You can reassure yourself, just as you would a child, that the night always passes and things always seem brighter in the morning.

I would say lack of other stimuli which means you're more inward focussed. It's easier to feel alone during the night.

You're really not though, there is here to chat, music to listen to, films to watch etc.

I feel the same OP. Hence why I’m on mn. It feels to me like being a bubble or behind glass, so lonely and terrifying. Same as above, I go on Rightmove and just try to distract myself. I also draw. It’s relaxing to just let my hands be busy with pencil and paper, doesn’t particularly matter what it is or if it looks crap as long as my stupid annoying brain is not racing or googling things!

I sometimes wish I was an animal so I just didn’t overthink everything. Got my cat sleeping happily beside me and I envy him.

Hope you’re ok, I’m with you in the nocturnal worriers club x

Oh and watching funny programmes is my must! Got Inbetweeners on now.

I’m the same. Worry at night, I’ve always been a poor sleeper anyway.

I flick through mn or pictures of my dc. It’s not easy though is it

I think it's because there are no mundane daily activities to distract you from thinking about them. When night falls those worries are still there.

I get this as well op it’s a horrible feeling and feels unbearable through the night. I have distracted myself with dd’s Lego trying to build something with it sounds strange but gets me through. I have also tried podcasts playing while I try to sleep and the headspace app although you have to pay it has a free trial. That helped too. It’s a crap feeling

Try tapping therapy, there is an App and some good nighttime routines.

I think there’s an element of daytime being ‘doing’ time and even if in reality you never get around to dealing with the things that worry you, you know you could if you wanted to.

Nighttime is waiting time where stuff does not get done, so there’s a feeling of powerlessness because you are stuck with those same problems until morning.

I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a hormonal element to it too. I am a migraine sufferer and often wake with one in the early hours apparently caused by the natural drop in serotonin levels during the night. I believe a drop in serotonin can also cause anxiety and depression.

I hear you op

I have mh issues and nights, weekends and public holidays are the WORST

Mainly as there's usually nothing you can do about those worries, also as there's usually nobody to talk to.

It's why I love mn!

Always someone here, either to listen or distract.

I also distract myself with:

Stitching
Colouring
Playing silly but involving games on phone
Quizzes on phone - the more challenging the better
Listen to music/watch tv/movies
Mning!
Adding to my never ending Amazon wish list!

Sounds counterintuitive but I also find doing things like balancing my budget help - because then you feel like you've done something productive

I also write "official" emails and letters at this time - peace to do them! But send them at "normal" times

I also find it hard that all the mental health helplines are closed at these times too (which seems daft to me as that's when they're most needed)

Listen to something that’s enough of a distraction to change your thoughts but not enough of a stimuli to keep you awake. Don’t look at a screen of any sort. I listen to chill out music, Breathing Space videos on YouTube, or episodes of a comedy show you really like and have seen before so you don’t need to look at the screen (I listen to Friends).

I suffer from anxiety and have a brilliant therapist. Something that has really helped is 'parts' theory. The idea that you have different parts that serve different functions. We've explored what my anxious part is trying to tell me and that it's trying to protect me. When I feel anxious rather than trying to dismiss the thoughts I let another part comfort and recognise the anxious part. I know it sounds crazy but I comfort it. I tell it that I understand that it's scared sad worried and that it's trying to protect me but it doesn't need to etc. It's like my adult self comforting my child self.
It really is starting to work. Feeling sympathy and empathy for my anxious part helps me.

I googled and found this:

therapeutic-solutions.com/what-is-parts-therapy/

Now I don't feel like I'm always fighting my anxiety. Which was a losing battle anyway.

Ah it’s rubbish!

I know you’re meant to avoid screens when trying to sleep, but if all else fails and it’s just not happening , I watch random stuff on YouTube. My favourites are the man who goes around trying takeaways (rate my takeaway 😁) and also videos of peoples road trips (watching the road, and passing scenery can be very relaxing!) Also makes me feel less alone.

Hope things improve soon

If my brain is going into overdrive I actually yell at myself out loud and really tell myself off !! It really does work for me 9 times out of 10 💐

For me it's because I busy myself during the day to push the thoughts away. As soon as that's gone, the thoughts come back.

Our natural hormone fluctuations over a 24hour period mean that cortisol can have a big impact. Also low blood sugar, and adrenaline levels (which happen when you have racing thoughts and anxiety).

I find that knowing this means I can deal with some of night-time terrors better. I say to myself 'this isn't a real worry, this is normal circadian rhythms making me feel more worried'.

One website suggests helping to stabilise cortisol:

Make your evenings relaxing. Don’t expose yourself to social media and gadget screens prior to your bedtime. Artificial light keeps you awake longer by suppressing melatonin, the sleep hormone, and social media is known to cause anxiety.
Don’t let the racing thoughts win. If you’re having problems with them, try breathing exercises and focus on muscle relaxation rather than giving in to your thoughts. They can just add to your stress.
Avoid alcohol and caffeine. Have a calming drink like chamomile or warm milk.
Do a hobby you love. Reading, writing, crafts, sports – it doesn’t matter – you need to vent.

I used to be exactly the same at night. I found listening to the radio helpful, as it reassured me that there were loads of other people out there listening to the same thing!