How does your DP/ DH react when you cry?

[Ghostlyglow]

I'm not someone who cries alot, I probably should say, but when I do DP gets angry which is always kind of a shock, even after many years together, and then I end up apologising for crying!

He’s very quiet, like he doesn’t quite know how to react, not that I cry often either! He definitely doesn’t get angry, that’s quite weird I think.

My ex used to shout at me.

One of the reasons he’s an ex.

He puts his arms around , apologises if it's him who has upset me if it's because I'm having a bad day etc he will tell me to sit down and he will take care of the children and the home. He's very good 95% of the time

He just hugs me and tried to cheer me up. Which atm is a lot as I’m crying about 6 times a day. He’s never gotten angry with me.

He hugs me and often calls me an old duffer (affectionately)

His natural response is to try to solve the problem.

I've trained him to give me a hug first and to understand that not every reason for being upset has a practical solution that can be applied in minutes.

I'm not much of a cryer these days though. I was when younger but I can't remember the last time I cried. Must be years ago.

Your husband sounds bloody awful.

Goes quiet, listens to what's wrong and usually tries to fix the problem. Sometimes I just need to be listened to not told what to do! He is getting better but as other pps I don't cry much. Can't remember the last time

Hmm sort of ignores me…he was brought up a very emotionally closed family/culture so I think basically he doesn’t know what to do so he does nothing. Occasionally he asks me what’s wrong.

I think your DH has no emotional boundaries

Is he usually an explosive person ?

When I happy cry he smiles at me.
If I get really angry about something I cry, he knows its best to just leave me be. He will probably make me a coffee. I used to be quite an angry teenager and would shout a lot. So now having a cry is my outlet.

If I am sad, he will again leave me be. I am not a person who wants fuss. Make me a coffee if during day or a martini if towards the evening. He will just say, when you are ready babe Im here. Later when I am ok he will just come and give me a cuddle.

He isn't one for trying to solve my problems or my sadness, but I wouldn't want that.

And this sounds like I cry a lot. I really don't!

He cuddles me and asks me how he can make things better for me.

Panics, then asks what's wrong, then gives me a reality check.

If I'm ill, on the other hand, he immediately starts telling me all his symptoms. Obviously he has the same thing, only much worse 🙄

Gives me a hug makes me coffee/toast/tea/g&t whichever is most appropriate.

He kind of judges whether he thinks It's something he thinks it's ok to cry about, and if he thinks it isn't he shouts and tells me I have to stop but that makes it worse for me - if that makes sense.

Depends why I'm crying 😂

Aww op that sounds awful if your dh gets angry when you cry, I'd probably end up crying even more!
I get a cup of tea and chocolate, or the offer of him going to the shop to buy more chocolate if I cry, or he'll listen to why I'm crying if I have a real reason to cry.

This is really weird but my ex actually used to hug me and become aroused. Obviously now an ex. He was problem after problem.

@Ghostlyglow that doesn't sound nice or supportive.

I'd expect a partner to be nice and supportive.

My DH sometimes doesn't pay a lot of attention to me crying - he's not good at noticing stuff like that. I sometimes have to say to him 'I'm upset, what I'm after is a hug and a cup of tea/a kind word/a laugh/a wry look." And he generally will. He doesn't shout.

That doesn’t sound very nice OP.

I don’t cry very often but if I do my DH gives me a hug, asks what the problem is, offers solutions and then usually tries to distract me with something funny.

Asks what's wrong, listens, sympathises and gives hugs. Also apologises if he is the reason I'm upset in the first place.

For example he bought me the wrong cake today - I am pregnant and very emotional at the moment 😂.

Depends why I’m crying. Pregnant so will cry at an advert atm, if it’s daft he will usually hug me and try and force my cheeks into a smile or do something silly to make me snap out of it. If it’s serious he will just comfort me, apologise if it’s something he’s done / talk about what has happened. Your partner doesn’t sound very nice. Have you talked to him about his reactions to your emotions?

I rarely cry so when I do he knows it’s a big deal. Holds me, makes me a cup of tea and just sits and rubs my back and waits for it to pass.
If I’m crying because of a movie then he just rolls his eyes.

The thing I'm most likely to cry about is something in a film or book, so he sort of shakes his head and sighs.

I very rarely cry about something in real life so he's only witnessed it a handful of times (even though we've been together for 24 years). On those occasions he was lovely - hugs, sympathy etc. The most recent time was when my friend's son was diagnosed with cancer

My ex was the same. If he didn't approve of the reason I was crying - and he very, very rarely did - he'd ignore and then explode in anger. It took me years to realise he was emotionally abusive but that should have been a major red flag.

@VettiyaIruken

His natural response is to try to solve the problem.

I've trained him to give me a hug first and to understand that not every reason for being upset has a practical solution that can be applied in minutes.

I'm not much of a cryer these days though. I was when younger but I can't remember the last time I cried. Must be years ago.

Your husband sounds bloody awful.

This!