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Anyone ever had that urge to just run away for a few days and done it?

48 replies

YouHaveNoAuthorityHereJackie · 16/06/2021 09:18

Starting by saying that yes I’m at the end of my tether. My DH is normally very good and yadda yadda. It’s obviously been a hard year for everyone but I was struggling before, our toddler has been difficult since birth and we have no help, the older dcs behaviour in the last week has been appaling. My mum ended up in hospital last week seriously ill though thankfully seems fine now. I came down this morning to a freezer door that had been left open and all the food ruined. I feel like I’ve snapped. Just done. The urge to just drop everything and go away has hit me like a wall. I just want to leave, sleep, have no one want anything from me. Which I know won’t change anything in the long run but I feel I’m at the limit, passed the limit to be honest. Has anyone actually done it? I can’t remember the last time I actually had even an hour to myself. If for whatever reason I have a spare half hour I’ll end up doing laundry or cleaning or something but not for me. I don’t even know what I’d do with myself, where I’d go. But I feel like the thought of another night in this house is intolerable.

OP posts:
Frownette · 16/06/2021 09:21

Can you do that? Would you want to stay with family/friends or get a hotel?

HagenDaz · 16/06/2021 09:27

Uma Thurman said in an interview that the best advice she’d been given about self-care was to spend one night a week alone in a hotel.

I could never afford to do that but it shows that we are not alone in wishing we were alone occasionally.

Last year I would deliberately choose to go to the supermarket at peak time so that I could stand in the (socially distanced) queue for an hour so that I could get some chill time.

HagenDaz · 16/06/2021 09:29

Posted too soon.

Find ways to treat yourself before you do the jobs you have to. Take the bins out and then go for a walk. Have a coffee before you do your supermarket shop.

MorriseysGladioli · 16/06/2021 09:29

I had a friend who did it.
Dropped the kids at their mi ders, then caught a train to Brighton, and booked into a guest house.

Suffice to say her name was absolute mud when "they" caught up with her.

Amdone123 · 16/06/2021 09:30

If you can do it, then yes, do it. You sound like you're at the end of your tether, and that's not good for anyone.

YouHaveNoAuthorityHereJackie · 16/06/2021 09:30

@Frownette I’m torn, I have friends I could stay with in lovely coastal places but the weather! And I don’t know if I want to be around people tbh, I think I’m craving the alone time tbh, but I don’t know I’d actually like it if I got it iyswim. Im lucky that thanks to a very fortunately timed ebay clear out I have enough money to comfortably get away if I want to

OP posts:
Rushhomeroad · 16/06/2021 09:32

I recommend Premier Inn! I do it semi regularly under the guise of work (long meeting with early start next day) and absolutely love just having some space to breathe, a bed to myself and peace and quiet. Totally underestimated in my opinion. FlowersCakeBrew have these too, you sound like you need them

Y0YO · 16/06/2021 09:35

Yes, I ran away to Marrakech.

It was fantastic to travel alone and do everything at my own pace.

Obviously I planned it but it came after feeling the way you've described.

I've also stayed overnight in hotels alone.

And my OH has taken child away several times over the years to visit family etc so I get time alone. I also do this for him.

It doesn't help things long term but it's a lovely release valve.

I'm lucky I could afford those things, I appreciate many can't.

But yes, spending time on yourself is important however you do it even if it's just an afternoon in another town getting a coffee and reading a book or some magazines.

peridito · 16/06/2021 09:49

Oh OP yes ,please go off for a couple of days .Shepherds hut ? Premier Inn ?

Just go ,you need it .

Pewpew · 16/06/2021 09:51

Can you book a night or two in a hotel or air b and b? I wont help longterm but should help your mood, energy etc! You need a break

Pewpew · 16/06/2021 09:52

I have had a night away on my own before and thinking about doing it again soon.

LovelaceBiggWither · 16/06/2021 09:54

I do it regularly, it helps me deal with life. Even though logically you're just walking back into the same shit different day, having that respite is amazing.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 16/06/2021 10:37

@MorriseysGladioli

I had a friend who did it. Dropped the kids at their mi ders, then caught a train to Brighton, and booked into a guest house.

Suffice to say her name was absolute mud when "they" caught up with her.

@MorriseysGladioli I don't understand what this means
Worriesome · 16/06/2021 11:30

Yes I’ve had the urge but never acted on it as I have kids lol, you can’t just run away! 🤣

Camandmitch · 16/06/2021 11:38

I know the feeling. My DH and I have had a long running discussion about me going away for the weekend. He finds it odd that I want to go alone and thinks I should go with friends as it'll be more fun. I've explained that I want to be alone. I want to sit on a beach and enjoy the sea view and read a book. I want a peaceful lunch at a place of my choosing. I want to mooch around doing exactly what I want. I want an early night. I don't want to have to be on other people's timetables and have to take their desires into account. I don't want to have to chat all day. I don't want to negotiate where we're having lunch/dinner. I don't want a big night out. I just want to be selfish.

DH finally conceded last year but I had to cancel due to covid. I should really rebook.

Y0YO · 16/06/2021 12:01

@Camandmitch

Do it, it's amazing!

Y0YO · 16/06/2021 12:01

@Worriesome

Yes I’ve had the urge but never acted on it as I have kids lol, you can’t just run away! 🤣
Maybe not just up and leave but you can certainly plan some alone time!
YouHaveNoAuthorityHereJackie · 16/06/2021 12:02

I feel slightly more calm, I’ve been for breakfast with some friends and the slightly desperate feeling has passed, teen dd has looked after the toddler so the break of a few hours has been good for me. By god I meant it this morning though.

OP posts:
AutistGoth · 16/06/2021 12:13

I'm glad you feel a bit calmer, OP and that your teen DD has stepped up a little.

I would still consider a therapeutic break for yourself at some point, though. Flowers

ExhaustedGrinch · 16/06/2021 12:18

I kind of did. I jumped on the first train that pulled into the station. DS was with his aunt, when she came to drop him off I wasn't there but his father was up the road at work (where he could have left at any point - his boss was amazing). He refused to leave work to look after DS. Aunt phoned my mum, I couldn't be contacted (phone off) so they phoned police after looking through the window and "thinking" they saw my dead body under the duvet Hmm Police came and tried to kick the door in but couldn't, all the while DS father stayed at work unfazed.

I turned the phone on as the police were attempting to boot the door in. The police woman said if I don't go home right now they'd contact social services. I told her to fuck off, don't try and emotionally blackmail me when he has a perfectly capable father there who could look after him. I asked what she would do in my circumstances (long fucking story), finally the male police officer came on the phone and we had a chat and I reluctantly caught the next train home.

At the time I "ran away" I was mentally at breaking point. I wouldn't run away again in the way I did but I will likely pack my shit one day and disappear to everyone other than DS.

BloomingTrees · 16/06/2021 12:27

Pre covid I had to stay overnight in a hotel for work a few times. It was great. Meeting would finish and I could go sit in a restaurant by myself then watch TV in hotel room in peace. Breakfast ready for me in the morning.

DH didn't say anything as it was work. Got extra brownie points from boss for being dedicated (knew I had two small children).

Even the train home was lovely and peaceful.

leavingtime · 16/06/2021 12:40

I'd been a single parent for 7 years, they were good kids but there were other pressures and my beloved grandmother had just died. I was bereft, lonely.

I arranged for a friend to stay at my house for a week and took off. Went to B and B's in Devon. Wonderful weather, meals out, sunbathing, swimming in the sea, read books and it was all very interesting. I met snobbery in one B and B so moved out after 2 nights. I then went to another place where I met 2 lovely guest house owners making a new start together and they wanted me to spend evenings chatting with them. Such good company.

It gave me a different angle on life, gave me perspective, a change of scene, I could breathe...and I missed my boys so much I went home a day early. I'd advise anyone to do it if they can. Everyone needs a break, time for themselves.

MrsTumbletap · 16/06/2021 12:42

I do every year.

4 days in a hotel, just me, books, music and relaxation. Gives DH time to be a dad over half term without me, he doesn't have that at any other time of the year.

And no
I don't meal prep
I don't make sure the fridge/freezer is full
I don't make sure DC have clean clothes
I don't make sure there is petrol in the car
Or lol roll in the toilet

I let DH deal with all of it, the mental load, the cooking, shopping the planning.

DH misses me loads, he has bonded with the kids and I come back relaxed. Win win.

PissPotPourri · 16/06/2021 13:01

@holymoley I think Morrissey just means all those people who had put general pressure on the runaway, contributing to what she did

magicstar1 · 16/06/2021 13:15

I did once years ago....spent 3 days on my own and it was wonderful. The only people I spoke to were in the restaurant / pub to order my dinner.
I remember an episode of Cagney & Lacey (showing my age), where Mary Beth just left after a day like yours. She just sat on the beach for hours and I remember my mother saying she knew exactly how she felt.....it's really not uncommon.
If you can take a break, then do it.