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Original poster

Does anyone else not want to do much at all since restrictions eased?

50 replies

Missillusioned · 14/06/2021 19:58

Now we have been able to get out and about within reason, I find I don't actually want to.

Its not anxiety I don't think, I don't conciously feel anxious. Nor am I especially worried about catching Covid. I have been working outside the home throughout. I mostly don't have a low mood.

But - I just don't want to do much. I don't feel like meeting friends, driving anywhere or doing anything much outside the house. Its like my desire to do so has been stunted. Initially during the various lockdowns I have done quite a bit of walking, as this was all the exercise that was possible. But now I'm sick to death of walking and don't want to do that either. I dislike zoom socialising so I haven't had much social contact outside work and I now feel I don't desire it. I am single and have teenage children who live with me, but are beyond the age where they want to come on family days out. They see friends but spend most of the time they are home in their rooms, not with me.

I am starting to worry a little that I'm never going to get back to how I was before, while not having the will to change it.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is it a thing?

OP posts:

Ted27 · 14/06/2021 20:09

I’m single, with one teen, working from home throughout

To be honest, I’m desparate to get out, my son is more reluctant than me but even he is emerging from the fog.

I’m not bothered about pubs, but Ive missed cinema and theatre. Ive been to both, had my eyebrows waxed and had a facial last week, I’m back in the gym and we have been home to visit family. I’m meeting friends for breakfast once a week like we used to. We are going on holiday in a few weeks. I’m going back to the office one day a week.

I don’t think you are alone, things do seem like more of an effort. But I suppose I never stopped going out. We have an allotment so saw people up there every day, so never entirely lost human contact which makes it a bit easier I think.
You don’t have to rush out if you don’t want to, but maybe try to do one thing this month.
The first thing I did was to go to Waterstones and buy a book. Felt tons better after that. Maybe there is something like that you could do?

Original poster

Missillusioned · 14/06/2021 20:26

I have been out. I go out to work every day and have done throughout.

I took my youngest son and his friends to the cinema for his birthday, I've been to shops and to friends houses occasionally. But I haven't really wanted to, if that makes sense. I forced myself and was marking time until I could go home again. Have no motivation to do more. Its a strange listlessness.

OP posts:

AlfonsoTheMango · 14/06/2021 20:30

Yes, but only because I find it too warm to do much.

squishmittens · 14/06/2021 21:00

Yes absolutely have felt like this. I found this article helpful in putting in to words what I was feeling:

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.amp.html

Also, I once read that happiness is made up of 4 pillars. I'm aware this sounds like a load of old pants, but I found knowing this information genuinely helpful in focussing my mind on things that might help my mental state and giving myself permission to actually prioritise doing them. You have to pick specific activities that work for you - if you hate painting your nails obviously don't do that...

pleasure - doing something for yourself e.g. a lovely relaxing bath or doing your nails, whatever makes you feel a bit of joy or relaxation

flow - an activity where your mind is engaged e.g. cooking a new recipe or learning a new instrument)

gratification - doing something difficult or unpleasant that results in a feeling of accomplishment e.g. cleaning your house, fixing a broken appliance.

Meaning - connecting with people/your community, doing something for someone else e.g. volunteering, getting involved in clubs, meeting your friends.

I'm aware this all sounds like a load of old pants, but honestly I found knowing this information genuinely helpful in identifying things that might actually help my mental state and giving myself permission to actually prioritise doing them. You have to pick specific activities that work for you - if you hate painting your nails obviously don't do that...

It feels a bit like the lockdown has robbed us of the 'meaning' aspect of well-being. No wonder many of us feel like absolute shit. I hope your feeling better soon OP.

squishmittens · 14/06/2021 21:01

Oops sorry about the repeated text!

CallmeHendricks · 14/06/2021 21:06

I know exactly what you mean!
I too have been working throughout (mostly) and have never felt particularly scared of catching Covid. Am now double-jabbed.
I can do most of the things I want to do under the current rules, but yeah, I just feel, "Meh."

AnxiousAndUnraveling · 14/06/2021 21:11

I feel exactly like you do. I’m not bothered in doing much. I’m quite liking the slower pace but I do feel anxious at the idea of life as it was before.

Namechangeme1 · 14/06/2021 21:12

I know what you mean OP, I do want to get out but only with my DH. I don't really want to see or speak to anyone Else.

It's made me very introverted

rwalker · 14/06/2021 21:13

I think just got out of the habit can't be arsed with booking and allocated table and oneway systems ( complelty understand why we have them ).
sooner do without .

BearFacedCheekGrylls · 14/06/2021 21:19

I was like this at first but it has gone away as I have done more things.

PracticingPerson · 14/06/2021 21:23

Yes me too a bit. But I have improved simce I stopped going to places I used to go a lot ans started trying totally new places. I think returning to the old favourites made me more sad, as it doesn't feel the same. New places are easier and give me something to look forward to.

Keep trying to find your thing.

IdblowJonSnow · 14/06/2021 21:26

It's made me a bit choosier about what I want to do and with who. I like low key things anyway. Prefer to stay outdoors than in and now dislike crowds noise noise more than I did previously.

What did you used to like doing? Why not push yourself to try something and see how you go?

But yes, I imagine this is a thing for many people.

lljkk · 14/06/2021 21:28

Totally brought out my inner Hermit.

It's funny bec I'm not afraid of virus, I'd feel plenty safe in crowd of randoms & would probably happily abandon social distancing with no regrets if I got drunk at an illegal rave... I don't want to deal with fears & covid-rules so going out has no appeal. I don't need art, culture, social life. Sorry Lloyd-Webbers, but if there's never another concert, theatre performance, museum opening or filmed drama again in the world, I won't miss it. ditto weddings, parties, conferences, lectures, festivals... well maybe I lie. I like seeing my massive extended family & they only gather for stuff like Christmas party, but they are a huge obstacle course of covid controls away, anyway. I like the buzz of crowded shopping and city centres but haven't been near one since... gosh, February 2020? Do they still exist?

Passthepepper · 14/06/2021 21:35

This is me too. It’s like a permanent state of ‘meh’
I am working, I have met up with a few people, I am going swimming, but unless I really have to leave the house, say to give one of the kids a lift somewhere I just don’t want to out.
It’s very strange and unlike me.

LadyPoison · 14/06/2021 21:37

Quite the opposite here. My diary is pretty full

I'm busy seeing friends that I haven't been able to see for months and enjoying evenings out with them and coffee dates. I''m certainly doing my best to help out the hospitality trade!

Todayissunny · 14/06/2021 21:41

I feel the same OP. Everything seems to be too much effort for the pleasure I get out of it. The excitement for doing things and going places seems to have got lost.
I'm happy just being at home, but also somehow not.

mynameiscalypso · 14/06/2021 21:45

@Todayissunny

I feel the same OP. Everything seems to be too much effort for the pleasure I get out of it. The excitement for doing things and going places seems to have got lost. I'm happy just being at home, but also somehow not.

Yeah, I can relate to this. I have a massive case of CBA and, other than going on holiday, there's not really much I would want to do really. Partly this is because we have a toddler and so restaurants/theatre/shopping trips aren't really an option anyway but even without that, I can't be bothered to book everything in advance and have my temperature taken and get all hot and sweaty in my mask.

MrsJBaptiste · 14/06/2021 21:49

@LadyPoison

Quite the opposite here. My diary is pretty full

I'm busy seeing friends that I haven't been able to see for months and enjoying evenings out with them and coffee dates. I''m certainly doing my best to help out the hospitality trade!

Me too! We're definitely ploughing our money back into the economy - kids are at the cinema, we're all back in the gym, go shopping, go out for drinks and see friends and family.

To be honest, everything feels pretty normal to me. Yes, we have to stick our masks on to go in anywhere and my sister has had to cancel a big birthday planned for the end of the month but they are some of the few things that remind us there's a pandemic on.

Oh and WFH which I hate but have got more used to.

lurkingfromhome · 14/06/2021 21:53

Same here. I thought by now I’d be sick of the sight of DH and want to be out doing fun stuff with other people and getting my old life back. I just cannot be arsed. Have no fear of virus, just massive apathy.

I’ve met two or three really close friends for lunch/coffee once or twice, with another lunch and meet up booked in with another two, and it pains me to say it, but I really had to force myself out the house and would have been just as happy staying at home and just pottering with DH. I just feel so meh at the thought of seeing other people and doing stuff, and I was never like this before. I really hope it’s just a phase…

Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep · 14/06/2021 21:58

Omg. This is so very much the same for me. It's making me feel so low and I don't know what to do with myself. My coping strategies used to be being with people (proper extrovert) but now I need coping strategies to BE with people. I feel like I don't know myself any more. I'm so bewildered and confused and everything makes me feel tired

devastating · 14/06/2021 22:05

I feel the same.

I walk past tables and tables of outdoor socialising people sometimes - eg last weekend when I had to go to the centre of where I live for an appointment - and just feel glad that I am normally on my way home. What can there be to say to other people for hours on end ??

I do feel irreversibly more of a hermit - I see about three friends on a one to one basis, and then have work and my dc and it feels as if I can’t handle any more than that.

Fnib · 14/06/2021 22:11

I've worked outside the home, and helped a friend look after horses, so I've not been incarcerated. But I feel much the same OP. I can't be doing with all the social distancing and masks (I'm very compliant when I'm doing what I have to do) so I'd rather wait till things feel more normal. I'm not anxious, I just can't be bothered.

Blankiefan · 14/06/2021 22:13

I'm with you OP. I've absolutely not taken advantage of the freedoms. It feels like a lot of effort.

I am nursing quite a lot of anxiety at the moment. This is new for me and not specifically related to COVID. I've already had it and been jabbed . But I think its caused by events. I wasn't particularly anxious before but I'm over thinking everything now. I don't see what else would've triggered it. I have a definite sense of impending doom.

I worry about work a lot. My job was made redundant at the start of lockdown and I'm in something else now that is much better laid but very insecure. It doesn't really suit me and it's a really stressful role.

I'm annoyed I can't shake off my apathy and anxiety.

Original poster

Missillusioned · 14/06/2021 22:15

Thanks @squishmittens that's interesting.

I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one, while not wishing difficulties on anyone.

On the one or two occasions I went to friends I was itching to go home really early. Its like my socializing muscles are wasted and get tired easily.

OP posts:

FeelinSpendy · 14/06/2021 22:37

I feel like this too. I was looking forward to catching up with friends and going out for meals and shopping etc, but now that we can do it, I just can’t be arsed.
I’ve always had some hermit-like tendencies but the past 18 months have really reinforced them. It’s weird, I feel like I’m missing out and it bothers me, but not enough to do anything about it. I wonder if it’s because I’ve WFH the whole time and my brain has just sort of got used to this smaller more insular world and it will take a while to open it up again.

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