Does anyone else not want to do much at all since restrictions eased?

[Missillusioned]

Now we have been able to get out and about within reason, I find I don't actually want to.

Its not anxiety I don't think, I don't conciously feel anxious. Nor am I especially worried about catching Covid. I have been working outside the home throughout. I mostly don't have a low mood.

But - I just don't want to do much. I don't feel like meeting friends, driving anywhere or doing anything much outside the house. Its like my desire to do so has been stunted. Initially during the various lockdowns I have done quite a bit of walking, as this was all the exercise that was possible. But now I'm sick to death of walking and don't want to do that either. I dislike zoom socialising so I haven't had much social contact outside work and I now feel I don't desire it. I am single and have teenage children who live with me, but are beyond the age where they want to come on family days out. They see friends but spend most of the time they are home in their rooms, not with me.

I am starting to worry a little that I'm never going to get back to how I was before, while not having the will to change it.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is it a thing?

[MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously]

I think if this was properly over we'd be fine. But there is the constant background noise of cases rising, variants, vaccine side effects. It's miserable and sucks the joy out of life. I'm fed up of feeling bossed about every time I go anywhere - why would I want to spend money to have that kind of experience? Everyone just seems to be going through the motions. I think the country is collectively depressed tbh

[MrsLCSofLichfield]

Yeah, I think it's a thing. I had COVID-19 in March 2020 and I am now double-vaccinated, but I've just lost interest in going out. It's too much hassle, and I have been buying a lot of books, why wouldn't I want to stay home and read with a nice beer to hand?

[Yorkshireswithallroasts]

My biggest thing is I don’t want to do things and risk getting contact traced. I’m not worried about catching the virus but the thought of having to be stuck at home for up to 10 days overrides any desire I have to go anywhere!

[ifonly4]

I have been going out and about. I've managed to get the basics I really needed clothes wise while in town, also bought things like cards and back up gifts with a view to not going town shopping for a few months. I used to go a couple of times a month for a potter and coffee, sadly it just doesn't appeal any more. A friend was saying she'd much rather have a bbq in her garden or go for a walk looking at nature now, rather than go shopping or to pubs/cinemas.

[Whyhello]

I’ve never been into pubs and haven’t really been a drinker for a few years so that doesn’t bother me but I’ve loved being able to eat out again and even took my DC to the cinema last week which was great. I understand the anxiety though, I didn’t go in a supermarket until Easter so I hadn’t been in one for over a year. It felt very strange and it’s taken some getting used to.

[RaisinsRuinEverything]

Yeah I know what you mean. There's a lot that you can do but none of it is fully "normal" and requires a lot more effort which kind of sucks the joy out of it. Prebooking, checking in, follow the arrows, wear a mask, can't try it on, can't use the loos .... nah.

[yellowDahlia]

Definitely languishing here and finding it hard to muster up much energy or motivation for much these days.

I was reflecting on this earlier - I can do all the things I would usually want to do but most of the time I CBA. Doing the same things every day or in spare time is getting so repetitive now and I think we underestimate the effect of having small 'extra' things in our days eg. a work trip, party, school event, family celebration - what we would previously consider pretty ordinary events would help to elevate a week above the mundane.

I'm an introvert but even I'm struggling with hermit life now, and yet it's hard to break out and do something different. I'm back in the office, which is quite good because I see more people but tbh our workplace has a bit of a negative vibe at the moment because of various changes, so it's not the most satisfying place to be - and after more than a year of going full steam I feel exhausted now and lacking all motivation for my role. I'm looking around for another job but actually when I think about doing my job anywhere it feels like too much effort...

I definitely notice a lack of stimulation and relate to others who are looking for it elsewhere - I do also find myself reading more, can't wait to watch TV each evening, am constantly listening to music and currently have a very rich fantasy life in my head with my current celeb crush. It's a pleasant distraction, but doesn't help much with the lack of fulfilment in everyday real life!

Thanks to the PP who posted the 4 pillars of happiness thing - that is helpful I think. I know when I do eventually make an effort to find something fulfilling that I reap the benefits - I love my garden and when I spend time in it I always feel better.

Definitely hear you OP and agree it's a thing. Hopefully it's a post-lockdown phase which will pass for all of us soon...

[DinosaurDiana]

I feel like this. I’ve no desire to go out either. I’m happy to work, walk the dog, clean and watch telly.

[Anonymity1]

@LouLou198

I can relate to this. I'm wondering if it's because going anywhere takes quite a bit of planning/booking. I took the dc out bowling & cinema last week. So many rules, wear a mask unless you are eating a snack, stay in your lane, only touch certain bowling balls, track and trace etc etc. Sucked the joy out of it to be honest and won't be rushing out anytime soon. Everything seems such an effort! We have been restricted for such a long time, I suppose we were bound to get into new habits that at one time would seem alien, now feel quite normal.

Snap! If and when things go back to the old normal, when we are allowed to be spontaneous, and don't have to cover our faces up, I will consider doing things again.

[BogRollBOGOF]

The other thing is a lack of certainty. While everything has to be pre-booked, there's a certain level where life can be whipped away from you with minimal notice.
13 hours notice that there's no school for a couple of months.
For me the uncertainty of local lockdowns in the autumn did a lot of damage. I did a race in the nrxt county, and the county changed tier that week, no one knew until.a couple of days to go whether it was going ahead.
Plus the constant dripping loss of hope in 2020 as everything got cancelled including chance to see your own family over Christmas.

It's very hard to anticipate something now.
Parkrun's just had yet another month added. They first hoped to be back last October and it's been permissable since March 29th, but they've been tangled up with land owmer permissions and additional conditions because of social distancing.

[DobbleDobble]

I’ve been out and about on a mini break now and a weekend away, which were both great, but on the mini break away after 3 days I was glad the next day I was going home! I’ve been working throughout and have caught up with 2 close friends and family.I do feel though that the lockdowns have shown some of us that we can be happy in our own homes, In our own company( of course I’m not applying this to people that really struggled with that fact in lockdowns)

I’m thinking maybe it’s the new normal ?
We were so used to rushing around at warp speed, keeping up with work challenges and social expectations to be out doing things, buying things, spending money all the time to keep up.This could be the new way?
I also agree with @devastating that we have all been through a big trauma and that takes time to heal from.Our only reference point on this is perhaps the older generation with the war years but obviously even that is different to compare to.
Could the background noise on cases/deaths/vaccinations whatever you read/listen to be going in there somewhere and influencing the decisions we make on going out too, I think it does for me.

[Sittinginthesand]

I haven’t missed all the rushing round I used to do at all! I rather like not have g so many after school activities and quiet weekends, especially when the weather is nice. The year before the pandemic I counted the weekends where we’d had nothing in the calendar - there were 3 and I resolved to have a few more the following year...
I agree with others that wearing masks and booking slots removes much of the fun out of anything.

[devastating]

@Missillusioned - yes .

I think the trauma we have collectively been through will be there for a while, and we won’t be exactly the same people we were before the pandemic. Also it isn’t over yet.

I agree with @BogRollBOGOF’s notion that we have been instutionalised to be in the house constantly and it’s much easier to carry on in that groove.

I do think that once this is properly over we will re-connect with things more - maybe different things to before?

[nembrotha]

Masks annoy me (I wear glasses and they steam up) so that stops me wanting to do any non-essential shopping as I can't browse and enjoy myself.

What I really miss is travelling overseas so until I can do that I can't really raise enthusiasm for other things.

[Missillusioned]

@devastating that's very like it!

[BogRollBOGOF]

Also, I once read that happiness is made up of 4 pillars. I'm aware this sounds like a load of old pants, but I found knowing this information genuinely helpful in focussing my mind on things that might help my mental state and giving myself permission to actually prioritise doing them. You have to pick specific activities that work for you - if you hate painting your nails obviously don't do that...

1. pleasure - doing something for yourself e.g. a lovely relaxing bath or doing your nails, whatever makes you feel a bit of joy or relaxation

2. flow - an activity where your mind is engaged e.g. cooking a new recipe or learning a new instrument)

3. gratification - doing something difficult or unpleasant that results in a feeling of accomplishment e.g. cleaning your house, fixing a broken appliance.

4. Meaning - connecting with people/your community, doing something for someone else e.g. volunteering, getting involved in clubs, meeting your friends.

Ringing true for me. The full lockdowns reduce my life to servicing children and futile battles over home learning and stripped away all external purpose or meaning. Some of it is back, but not fully either not at all or in some altered form.

I'm struggling witb running now. The abesnce of races (or very quiet nature if the few trail races I've done) have stripped away the meaning. I'm not getting the gratification because I feel like I'm bored of every square inch of path within 5 miles of my house. It's no longer a pleasure doing it for myself because for too bloody long it was the only thing I could do for myself. No gratification of challenges. No pbs. No purpose of training.
I'll run with others. I'll go to fitness classes. But my tank of running for my own pleasure is currently drained dry.
It was a good time filler, and I've still got too much time to fill, and 2 hour runs just aren't appealing at present. Nor short ones!

I am getting a bit better in wider life. I did as much as I could last summer, but it was hard in April to break away from being instutionalised to be in the house constantly. Plus it was cold so things like sitting in a pub garden were not pleasurable. I don't want to be around people in masks so that cuts options. The general crime scene ambience is also not encouraging. Lack of spontenaity. You're also at the mercy of friends and family being willing to get going again. Everything needs initiating from scratch, without events rolling over from the last meet up

It's taking a long time to get back into gear.

[Mellowandfruitful]

Me too. I've been out a few times but as well as what others have said, I've also found it really tiring. Felt genuinely shattered when I've got back from lunch out or whatever. I like the idea of it, but rarely end up going somewhere and am happier with another day pottering around the house.

[Lettitbee]

I find it hard to go out, can't imagine enjoying anything and hate the random rules everywhere and being told off for not following them. It's easier to stay in. I've also put on weight and my clothes don't fit, my feet hurt and I feel like I look awful so don't want people to see me.

[LouLou198]

I can relate to this. I'm wondering if it's because going anywhere takes quite a bit of planning/booking. I took the dc out bowling & cinema last week. So many rules, wear a mask unless you are eating a snack, stay in your lane, only touch certain bowling balls, track and trace etc etc. Sucked the joy out of it to be honest and won't be rushing out anytime soon. Everything seems such an effort! We have been restricted for such a long time, I suppose we were bound to get into new habits that at one time would seem alien, now feel quite normal.

[devastating]

www.instagram.com/reel/CPf5P8MnRWv/?utm_medium=copy_link

Not sure if this will work, but if you have Instagram, this sketch sums up the issue.

[CrystalE]

I once lived abroad in a country with much less choice of entertainment. When I go back to UK I found the plethora of choice rather overwhelming and uneccessary. Maybe it's something like that.

On the upside - it didn't take long before I got back to "normal"

[CrystalE]

@SunsetOverEasterIsland - I was just going to post the same about lack of spontanaeity. In olden days you could just go for a day out on the spur of the moment. Now there is too much to think about in advance.

Also it's such an effort to go somewhere - say for a meal out that I start thinking that if it turns out to be not very nice it will have been a waste of effort. So it seems easier to just stay home, buy some nice food and have a glass of plonk.

[HelloBunny]

I’m bored of the shops. Wouldn’t care if I never saw the inside of a shopping centre ever again...
Before I could while away hours browsing in a department store. But they can keep all of their shite now.

[SunsetOverEasterIsland]

I was talking about this today at work with several colleagues and all of us were a bit 'meh' about getting back to normal. It was on tv this morning that businesses are concerned about the malaise affecting a good percentage of the population. I just think that many of us that have worked throughout the pandemic are worn down and too knackered to bother, and that others have embraced the slower pace of life and have realised that their previous lives, pre pandemic, were very different than their values now.
I also think that life has currently lost its spontaneity, everything has to planned, booked in advance, remember your mask, sit at a table, don't miss your time slot for your booking etc and it's just draining to have to plan everything in advance.
Hopefully once we are through all the reopening and we get used to things again we might get the spontaneity back but I do think that lots of people are embracing the slower pace of life and new ways of working so only time will tell, in my opinion.

[MushMonster]

Exactly the same for me.
It is going to take some effort to lure me out of the house.