What's the best wedding you went to?

[NoEffingWaytoSurvive]

Getting married in a few years, and there are so many options to make it a fun evening. From singing waiters (who knew?!) to having magicians (not my thing but can see the appeal) the world is my lobster.

What did you have (or have the pleasure at someone else's) that made the day more fun? And what was a complete waste of money?

My first wedding, I spent hours putting jellly beans in small bags which no one even noticed. Wish I had put more into the food which was a bit shite.

@NoEffingWaytoSurvive I think you can get such cheap drinks options these days. Like the other poster said maybe keep choice to a select few drinks, wine, beer and a couple of cocktails that most would enjoy? Lots of weddings provide drinks during the reception but paid bar in the evening, people aren't put off by this so it would probably sit better with most to do this than them rockin up in their best frock carrying a bottle of Gordon's and a litre of 7up. Besides, some people will absolutely want to give you a gift, something personal to keep, so they'd be buying twice. Others might find it offensive that you'd presume they need to buy you anything. Strange but true.

My favourite was a simple one held in a local Best Western Hotel. I think the ceremony was at about 3pm, then time for one drink and canapés in the bar while the bride and groom went off for photos, then straight through to a lovely 3 course meal, then dancing and simple buffet later on.

The worst ones are where they've tried too hard. I went to one in a huge country house where it dragged on all day, most of the buffet wasn't touched (there were 6 different cakes!), and no one could be arsed to go on the bouncy castle. I'd rather
just be fed then have a dance.

Hard to orchestrate (unless abroad maybe?) but the best weddings I've been to have been the ones where the weather was good. It makes such a difference.

One wedding had a gospel choir for the ceremony, it was amazing.

Also - free bar. That's a really easy win if you are trying to impress guests.

The best thing about my own wedding was that we only had 17 guests. So no awkward work people or having to socialise with (and pay for) those relatives you don't really like. We all went away for three days, paid for everyone's accommodation by the way, and had a blast! It was still cheaper than most of the big weddings I have been to.

Things that I don't like - a really long lull after the ceremony while the photos are taken. It's really dull for guests and most people don't provide enough canapés for this bit.

Really long speeches are boring.

Bands/music that are too loud. I know that makes me sound ancient but I've been to so many weddings where you can't even hold a conversation.

Relaxed, bbq and buffet - reasonably priced drink (doesn't need to be free) - Good company - snacks later for when the munchies hit - relaxed bride and groom - decent music granny can dance to

All the rest of the frills don't matter and no one remembers if the atmosphere is right and they are fed and watered.

My wedding was awesome (not just me saying that, all my friends say it was one of the best they've been to)

We had a casino and no dj / band - just had an ipod playing
BBQ
Bouncy castle
Garden games

Really relaxed and informal

Just a shame the groom turned into a giant cockwomble

If my partner and I get married I'd love to have some similar things as it was my perfect wedding. Hopefully this time round it will last longer

@iminthegarden the venue has no bar, staff, or drinks options. Not sure I'm up for serving guests in my frock

Great location
Friends all at one massive table
Fab band

Plenty of entertainment.

I get bored easily and like 'something happening'

The smaller unique ones that stand out, eg not the endless large hotel venues with 100s squeezed in...

One small one in Scotland, cute castle and Scottish dancing and one in Spain.

Best was one where every guest was made genuinely welcome, booze-free made it surprisingly relaxed, reception in bride's parents garden. Bride and groom had time to chat to everyone. Just all genuinely warm and the bride and groom were so happy. The 'frills' make for a fun party but not a memorable wedding, I think.

Been to a few I loved.

One was a Jamaican wedding, incredible food and microphone passed round for anyone who wanted to say anything could

Wedding of a friend who hired a hotel and put about 50 of us up for the weekend. Was just so relaxed and amazing

Very casual wedding in an amazing warehouse central London venue. Understated in the way you can only get by spending a lot of money

One in a castle in Bolton. The whole thing was incredible, food drink band company

Best ones have been relaxed, close friends/family, great food, element of free booze (but not endless as that was a disaster), good music and dancing. Recently went to a brilliant anniversary party of one of the best weddings. The couple are just brilliant hosts and have great friends. No amount of detail or entertainment can replace warmth and love towards the couple.

@Dinky2004

My best friends wedding, 5 years ago, tight budget and she was so worried about not providing an amazing day for everyone. Hired a field with a river running along the side, hog roast and camp fires in the evening, a band from the local sixth form school (they were bloody amazing) Best wedding I've ever been to and we still talk about that night now

Sounds very similar to my best friend's wedding, apart from the river, and the band was workmates band! They had a coach to take people from venue to church to field, and loads of vintage cars and vehicles, smaller fairground rides and fairground organ for the kids (of which there were many) they also had bouncy castle, treasure hunt where they collected different animals on coloured tokens - different difficulty according to colour of token to be found according to child age (prizes were colouring in books and puzzles to keep them quiet during the speeches - they were awarded their prizes by the best man before he got into giving his speech). Was over 20 years ago, anytime you meet up with any of the 150+ guests who went the wedding is invariably mentioned along the lines of 'We went to x and Y's wedding but it wasn't a patch on Julie and Jack's ', and then the conversation turns to 'wonder if they're planning anything for their 25th? Would be lovely to go to another party like that!' (they still own the fields)

The best wedding I’ve been to was the most expensive admittedly, a big Indian bash, a massive Indian banquet served to you at your table, then a huge dessert banquet after, free bar all day, amazing entertainment over several rooms, dance battles, there was over 400 people there and honestly I’ve never experienced anything like it, the bride looked amazing, they really looked after everyone, she said they had spent close to 300 grand so defo on the expensive end of things, not saying you need to spend that much just the shittiest weddings I’ve been to is where there wasn’t enough food or drink tbf so just make sure there’s plenty of that 😁

Honestly the best one was my friends in Italy. Hired a castle with loads of seperate accommodation on the grounds. About 100 people were there for 3 nights - BBQ on the first night with a free bar with an amazing view of the countryside, lounging around the pool the next day, pizzas on the terrace the night before the wedding, wedding was an all day event and was amazing with fantastic food and wine then a disco in the castle.

I think it was the best though as it was a holiday with my friends. About 8 of us shared an apartment on site and it was so much fun. The best weddings for me are the ones where lots of my friends are - worst are the ones where I don't know anyone.

Worst Wedding Things

• Long drawn out day as many have mentioned. The best ones had a break after the church part so people could go back to their hotels/home to freshen up and relax before heading to dinner. The ones with 3-4 hour reception in between are exhausting.

• Cheesy games that involve questionnaires about the bride & groom, drawing things or writing things. It's just awful and feels like forced schoolwork. Sounds nice in theory but honestly nobody ever enjoys it.

• Not enough food during the reception. Some weddings really scrimp on canapes and guests may already be hungry, or need something to absorb the alcohol, but there's no way to obtain food themselves. Even a few breadsticks placed where people can help themselves is preferable to chasing down waiters with a tray of tiny bites.

• Not enough seating. Many women will be standing in high heels and cocktail/reception style tables are simply uncomfortable after a few hours.

• Seating guests with people they don't know to encourage small talk. Just no, unless it's entirely unavoidable. The worst weddings were ones where friendship circles were deliberately split up and mixed with cousins/relatives and random friends. Three hours of painful small talk with strangers is torture nobody needs.

• Slow service. We attended a wedding once where some tables were served mains 1.5 hours (!) before others.

Best Wedding Things

• Being seated with old friends who you haven't seen in ages and catchin g up over great food and drink.

• Overnight weddings where the rooms are directly located at the venue so nobody needs to worry about travelling home/to a hotel after drinking

• Unlimited G&T (plus other long drinks). This is the one drink that seems to run out at every single wedding or guests are made to pay for it themselves.

• Generous midnight snack. The best ones had buffets with new, fresh food, not just soup and rolls or god forbid re-serving uneaten canapes from the reception.

• People staying late to dance and keeping the party going. Some weddings are lovely but feel a bit awkward because they fizzle out early. Weddings with a high percentage of parents or older relatives are susceptible to this.

We put on a free bar and food all weekend at our venue. People did have to pay for rooms, but it was a DIY type place and they still paid less than the average bar bill PP at a conventional wedding.

Get people nicely pissed and let them dance in their socks and pyjamas, and send them away with a bottle or two from the leftovers at the bar, and people will call you a legend

(seriously on the latter, I waved everyone off on the Sunday with a small case of beer or a couple of bottles of wine, half a bottle of gin etc - saved a huge amount of time on the clear up too!)

Decent hymns for the service which everyone can join in with enthusiasm.
Any friends or family singing or playing music to be good - it is so painful when they're not.
No vows or readings written by the couple - stick with the form of words we all know.
A ceilidh - dancing everyone can join!
And somewhere quieter away from the dance floor for people who don't want to dance to sit and chat.
Ideally no need to get in a car from ceremony to party, but transport laid on if that is needed.
Not too much time standing around - that awful gap between ceremony and food because the couple are having so many photos taken is a killer and people get very hungry. I have been to weddings where this has been over two hours and that is just too long.
A decent selection of non alcoholic drinks at both reception and sit down meal - DH is teetotal so we really notice this. Lots of weddings there's no soft option with food apart from water. And not that horrid fake orange juice.
Some kind of entertainment for kids if they're there - games outside or something similar. Ideally a nanny or entertainer who can take little ones off parents' hands for a bit.
That would be my dream wish list!

@Titsywoo

Honestly the best one was my friends in Italy. Hired a castle with loads of seperate accommodation on the grounds. About 100 people were there for 3 nights - BBQ on the first night with a free bar with an amazing view of the countryside, lounging around the pool the next day, pizzas on the terrace the night before the wedding, wedding was an all day event and was amazing with fantastic food and wine then a disco in the castle.

I think it was the best though as it was a holiday with my friends. About 8 of us shared an apartment on site and it was so much fun. The best weddings for me are the ones where lots of my friends are - worst are the ones where I don't know anyone.

Omg did we go to the same wedding 🤣?! This sounds exactly like the best one we attended. Italian castle with everyone staying in amazing medieval rooms on site. Fantastic food with pizza the night before and a beautiful breakfast on the terrace every morning. We had a small baby so I actually missed the whole evening meal and party but it was still the most magical wedding I've been to.

Decent hymns for the service which everyone can join in with enthusiasm

That was something my husband insisted on. He hates what he calls 'dirges'.

Best wedding I ever went to was held in a nice hotel which gave us an enormous buffet afternoon tea after the service, We then got changed into jeans etc. (inc. bride and groom) and went to a local gastro pub and had whatever we wanted from the menu, paid for by the bride’s parents.

Fantastic mix of slightly formal and informal, felt very relaxed and happy, and you could circulate and talk freely without feeling obliged like you do when there are tables and a seating plan. No bloody banging loud disco that nobody really wants (my absolute pet hate).

Also went to another cracker held at a 17th C manor house (booked out for the wedding party) where you could explore all the rooms and lots had big log fires going, squishy old chairs and free drink all night. Twas epic.

I think ours was the best. Just cocktails, ceremony, and a nice dinner with a small group.

If you are going more traditional…

The best was in the bride’s parent’s garden on a nice spring evening. They rented tables and a dance floor and hung fairy lights in the trees . The food was a buffet, but it was lots of small taste stations. Good food makes a wedding.

Went to a wedding with the singing waiters and it was incredibly cringe.

But, my friends got their favourite Indian buffet (two doors down from the wedding venue) to cater. They literally bought in all the trays and trolleys you'd have if you went into the restaurant. All the curries, breads, bhajis, paratha, poppadom, chutneys, tandoori chicken pakora, everything. Whenever a pot started looking like it was running down the waiter from the restaurant overseeing it all would Whatsapp his colleagues and they'd bring down more and take away the empty pot. It was the most delicious wedding food I've ever had and when she told me the deal she'd done with them afterwards (it was normally £14.99 a head for their Sunday buffet in the restaurant, so they'd let them choose their favourites from the menu and then charged £20 a head to cover additional costs) I was so pleased for her but a bit gutted I'd paid £65 a head for tasty enough but pretty pedestrian food.

I am now DESPERATE for a curry.

One of my favourite weddings, dare I say it, was big budget. Everyone was invited, no great aunties or little children were left out. The food was plentiful and delicious, the bar was free, beautiful setting, live music and fireworks. I don't think there were favours. They didn't fret the details that no one notices.

Alas five years later the bride and groom were separated.