Anyone have a baby at 41? How was it?

[Oldermum6]

I’m TTC and keep intermittently worrying it’s not going to work because of my age.

Any mums who had babies in their 40s? Did you find it easy to conceive? Did the pregnancy go well? Did you feel “older” than the other new mums?

My son was born 3 days after my 43rd birthday. We started trying when I was 41 (I met DH late in life). I felt young and fit and had regular periods but nothing happened in a year so we moved to IVF very quickly (paid privately). They never identified any problem other than my eggs being old. Second try at IVF worked. Pregnancy and birth very straightforward and lots of mums in late thirties/early forties in my area. Docs didn’t consider me particularly high risk, only thing they said was that I should not go overdue as placenta can fail more quickly in older mothers. I was induced bang on 40 weeks.

Didn’t find having a baby particularly exhausting, he starts school this autumn and I have no regrets. Happy to have only one - it’s underrated I think.

I am about to turn 41 and I’m 24 weeks pregnant with my second. Conceived very easily when we were not actively trying (a surprise!) considering it took five years, going through fertility treatments, IVF and then recurrent miscarriage before having my daughter at 37. I did have miscarriage at 16 weeks last year too.

I feel ok, but tired! My job is pretty intense and my three year old is a delightfully spirited handful so I am tired regardless. Straightforward pregnancy so far, no aches and pains yet (touch wood). My arse seems to be getting huge though - this did not happen in my last pregnancy and is quite alarming!

I have been told I will be advised to accept induction before 39, hoping baby will come naturally before that. My DD came at 38+5 and birth was great - hoping to be lucky again.

Had my two at 38 and 40,they're now 6 and 8.
I'm the oldest Mum in my groups of friends but we're all within 5 years of each other.
I've found it easy, I can't say if it'd have been easier if I was younger but it's not something I ever regret.

Hi all, just out of interest, were you all fit and healthy when you conceived in your 40's? Non smokers, moderate drinkers etc? Asking because I'm 43 and ttc for about 3 years now. Had 2 MC's. Relatively healthy but slightly overweight. Wondering if it's my eggs?

I conceived my one and only at 41 and had my daughter at 42. Conceived twice in three months (one chemical and conceived again the following month). Pregnancy was ok apart from SPD which I assume could happen at any age.

I had very irregular periods but I was tracking my cycle.

EMCS after a failed induction but everything was fine. Induced on due date due to my age. She was very comfy in there and hadn't dropped at all!

For balance also I know of 3 mums of children with autism and all were 43-43 when born.

2 are at special school and 1 DS aged 8 now about to go on a waiting list

All DH 42/44.

Autism surprisingly common in older mothers and fathers

I fell pregnant at 42 and had 3rd DC at 43, unplanned but a lovely surprise. It was the easiest of my 3 pregnancies and I had an easier labour but that may have been as it was my 3rd. I don't feel any more tired than with older 2. The only downside is that friends I had of my own age are living a different type of lifestyle and we have drifted apart. I think having children later keeps you younger and gives you a younger mindset.

@Foundmyfeet

Hi all, just out of interest, were you all fit and healthy when you conceived in your 40's? Non smokers, moderate drinkers etc? Asking because I'm 43 and ttc for about 3 years now. Had 2 MC's. Relatively healthy but slightly overweight. Wondering if it's my eggs?

Not especially fit, probably a stone over ideal weight. Non smoker, fairly heavy drinker though. DH similar and 5 years older than me (so 46 at birth). I think it’s more luck than anything- my cycles were 100% regular though and I’d not used hormonal contraceptives for a decade before.

@Foundmyfeet yes, I was fit and healthy when I became pregnant. I had the tests after my miscarriages and I had plenty of good quality eggs too.

First at 36; fourth at 42. All healthy babies, but I had gestational diabetes for the last one. Even in that short time, the last one was so much harder work than the first, partly due to my age. I do get asked if I'm the grandmother on a fairly regular basis.

@Foundmyfeet

Hi all, just out of interest, were you all fit and healthy when you conceived in your 40's? Non smokers, moderate drinkers etc? Asking because I'm 43 and ttc for about 3 years now. Had 2 MC's. Relatively healthy but slightly overweight. Wondering if it's my eggs?

I think that age of eggs is the most likely explanation @Foundmyfeet. You can get your AMH level tested to give you an idea of how they might be doing, have you considered that? However if you have the money I’d really recommend going straight to IVF and not wasting time trying to understand why you are not conceiving because time isn’t really on your side. Sorry to be harsh.

I had my two at 39 and 41. Not particularly healthy, slightly overweight, big drinker. Getting pregnant very easy but also had 3 early MCs - so dodgy eggs.

Didn't feel like old parent until after 50 - slightly envy those 50 year olds whose kids are leaving home... also it screws up grandparenting too. My parents too old to take interest in my kids suspect I'll be too old to be much support when my kids have their own.

Not big enough reasons not to have them though. They are ace and I love being a family.

Had my first baby at 44. It was our last throw of the dice... I had never formally TTC, or worried about it.
Actually I had miscarried at 41 (first pregnancy) and had accepted that we probably wouldn’t have a child.
My pregnancy was a dream, however at the birth doctors were concerned about my age, but it all worked out.

Had my one and only at 42. Conceived easily. Pregnancy wasn't great but only because of nausea nothing to do with age.

Ended up with emergency c-section. Again nothing to do with age - just one of those things.

Never felt old. Don't feel any more tired than other younger mums.

Mid fifties now and still don't feel old. DD keeps me young. She's the. best thing that ever happened to me.

I never ever thought I’d be lucky enough to be a mother but I had my first baby 7 months ago at the age of 40. We conceived the first time and the pregnancy was fine. The birth was a little traumatic but I don’t think this was age related. I’m loving being a mum and my partner and I are planning to try for another baby soon. I’m 41 now. I hope this helps and wish you all the best with it all.

For the person that asked: I was non-smoking but heavy-ish drinking, very active but slightly overweight. I hadn’t been on the pill for probably about 8 years. My paternal grandmother had had her last of 9 at 39, and my own mother reached the menopause at 51 or so.

Had my first at 40 after two miscarriages and my second at 42. Got pregnant within 1-3 months for all of them and had straightforward pregnancies and births. When they were toddlers I sometimes felt older compared to other mums but now
( they’re 18 and 20) it makes no difference at all. DS1 is at university and says that his flat mates’ parents are all a similar age. My only regret about having children later is that I’m likely to be a very old grandparent!

I had twins at 47. That was after 7 years of trying, 10 IVFs, 2 miscarriages.

Pregnancy was a breeze - no symptoms at all, until the last couple of weeks when my hips hurt a bit.
The birth was absolutely fine - scheduled c-section and I was back to normal after about 2 days.

Now they're 15 months, and they're amazing, but I also work very full-time, so don't have a second!

I've plenty of friends in their 40s with newborns, so don't feel old at all.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

does giving birth a month before turning 40 counts?

I did that - first IVF 3 weeks before 40 and second at 44. No probs with either and so pleased to have lots of years without children to enjoy.

Had my 4th at nearly 42. Conception took a bit longer (I was a non-smoker, occasional drinker), pregnancy was fine, delivery was by elective CS at c 37 weeks.
I was an old mother at the school gate, esp once older siblings’ friends/parents had left, but otoh I have found that having a younger child around once the older ones have left keeps you amazingly in touch with stuff that would otherwise pass you by

@sadgirl45

For balance also I know of 3 mums of children with autism and all were 43-43 when born.

2 are at special school and 1 DS aged 8 now about to go on a waiting list

All DH 42/44.

Autism surprisingly common in older mothers and fathers

My DC4, now 28, is undiagnosed but definitely has what used to be called Aspergers. He displayed what we now realise were very obvious signs but neither we nor his schools picked up on it, unfortunately. He’s very bright, so did ok academically, but had behavioural issues in adolescence which caused a lot of problems and could have been catered for So yes, it definitely can be a thing with older parents…

I was 43 when I had my dd and I was closely monitored during the pregnancy but that was due to previous issues.. dd was born fine by section and she is an absolute dream now at 2yrs old!!

I had my first at 25 and then started ttc my second at 36 with a new partner. We had 9 cycles of clinic and 3 cycles of IUI and 2 miscarriages and then decided enough was enough and stopped ttc when I was 40. Then I had my wonderful DD at 41. I’d gained a lot of weight comfort eating after my fertility struggles so I had to go to what I lovingly referred to as the ‘old and fat’ clinic and I ticked lots of high risk boxes but it was a textbook pregnancy and delivery, no problems at all. She’s 8 now and the light of my life. I am a little bit older than most of her classmates mums but there are a few my she so I don’t stick out like a sore thumb.

• 9 cycles of clomid

I had my last child at 41. pregnancy and labour fine. She's 9 now and fine - it's been pretty easy. I am in London and not noticeably older than most of her classmates.

For balance I had my first at 28 and he is autistic.