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Original poster

What would stop you from moving abroad?

49 replies

Plantsandwine · 10/06/2021 14:14

My husband and I have got two children (a 7 month old and a 2 year old). We have a mortgage for a house, are both teachers and are quite comfortable at the moment for money.
We are considering moving abroad to Singapore to teach in two years. We haven't really thought it through yet but living abroad is something we would both love to do.
Pros: see a new culture, don't have to worry about formal education as children are still very young, can go to holidays in Asia for cheaper
Cons: the unknown, work life balance, we are comfortable at the moment in a nice house (although we would put our house up for rent while we are away).
Would you move abroad? Why or why not?

OP posts:
stuntfarter · 10/06/2021 14:18

I would in a blink of an eye , but won't because my DP has a job that he loves very much based in the uk

Original poster
Plantsandwine · 10/06/2021 14:20

@stuntfarter

I would in a blink of an eye , but won't because my DP has a job that he loves very much based in the uk
Where would you go?
OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 10/06/2021 14:25

I’m a train wreck when it comes to learning languages.

Can speak Makaton (need it for my job), though... Is that the same everywhere?

MolotovMocktail · 10/06/2021 14:27

Temperature, religion and language would stop me moving abroad to certain places. Most places are too hot for me and also I wouldn’t want to live in a country that was more governed by religion or extreme cultural influences (like Saudi Arabia for example). Also am too lazy to learn another language Grin

Original poster
Plantsandwine · 10/06/2021 14:28

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

I’m a train wreck when it comes to learning languages.

Can speak Makaton (need it for my job), though... Is that the same everywhere?

Mmm I don't know if it is universal! I know sign language isn't but not sure about Makaton
OP posts:
Frezia · 10/06/2021 14:39

If it hadn't been for Brexit, we probably would've been making specific plans to move by this point, to my home country (in the EU). Incidentally the idea is driven more by my English husband and in-laws than me. I really like lots of things about the UK but work life balance and raising young children would've been so much easier there.

Castlepeak · 10/06/2021 14:40

I would only consider countries where my spouse and I had equal immigration status. If he has more ties or more rights and we have children, then the move is not an option.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 10/06/2021 14:41

Getting home to family in the event of an emergency. We’ve had some family bereavements that weren’t expected and driving 5 hours to the other side of the country is stressful enough without adding in international travel.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 10/06/2021 14:42

I should add that in-laws live in a different country and we’ve had a health related emergency with them and it took a lot more planning to go visit them. It is very stressful. DH was very aware they had moved away and he couldn’t just pop to see them and reassure him they were ok.

whatsagoodusername · 10/06/2021 14:44

DH and I used to say we would. I'm forrin anyway, so have previously emigrated (pretty carelessly) and DH is a keen traveller.

But I needed to stay a certain length of time in the UK for residency and citizenship (because DH didn't want to leave permanently and I wasn't far off from achieving it). And now DS1 has ASD, probably wouldn't cope brilliantly, and needs specialist support for education. So if we did, we would need to find a place that would work for him first, then work from that. Which has pretty well scuppered any move-to-new-country-every-two-years plan.

Ah well. That's what retirement is for Smile

cittigirl · 10/06/2021 14:44

Yes I would given half a chance. Not that I don't like my life here but I've already spent a few years abroad and theres a big old world out there. You can always come back 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Plantsandwine · 10/06/2021 14:49

@cittigirl

Yes I would given half a chance. Not that I don't like my life here but I've already spent a few years abroad and theres a big old world out there. You can always come back 🤷‍♀️
That is my thinking too!! If we don't like it we can always come back after a few years!
OP posts:
TakeYourFinalPosition · 10/06/2021 14:50

I have, and would again... but you have to be very set in the decision and how it'll affect each member of your family, and at what point you'll come home - will you educate your two-year-old in Singapore? Are you going for a defined time, or will you come back when either or both of you want to?

We should be in Europe now... we were all ready to go. Covid put paid to it last year, and the in-laws got very upset about it this year after initially being fine with it, so we called it off. I am massively regretting that now, more than I could possibly express. They wouldn't be any happier about us going now, but it is hands down the best thing for us...

I suspect it's a bit of a lost cause now, as DH would worry about his parents being so unhappy that we'd gone, and I wouldn't want to put him in that position.

If I could live March again, I'd do it!

(I'm not anti-in-laws. They'd be more than welcome to visit, and we'd FaceTime often. It just happened to be them that changed their minds about us going)

Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/06/2021 14:56

I'd never move abroad. I would not want to be away from my family and friends. I couldn't be bothered to put the effort into starting from scratch again.

EhVwalah · 10/06/2021 14:57

DH and I are both teachers, currently in Singapore, have worked in a few countries. Kids have always gone to the international schools we have taught in.
Covid has been tough in terms of not being able to travel. We've not seen any friends or family for 2 years. Other than that, it's great! Singapore is by far the easiest place we've lived. All the food, no we'd for car, so amazingly safe for the kids (and generally), loads to do. But really small without travel.
I'd say wait until the borders are more open, but go for it when they are.

LadyCatStark · 10/06/2021 15:35

DH’s medical condition. We’d go in a heartbeat but no one will have us 🙈

kentred · 10/06/2021 15:38

I like the idea of living abroad but it's always seemed impractical to me. I'm too lazy/unsociable to learn a new language, so that would put me off anywhere non-English speaking. It would be a headache in terms of tax, decisions about what to do with UK property, hassle of selling/renting it out. And I wouldn't want to disrupt my dc's education - even though DD is only in nursery school now, the curriculum is geared towards a UK system, and we also have to think about assessments and moving locally to a good private school. Also my family here need my support for practical reasons, and I like my DD having a good relationship with her cousins. One thing I'd love to do in future is have an extended holiday abroad - e.g. the whole summer holidays, to get to know a country but not actually uproot ourselves and live there.

Will you move back in time to get your older dc into a good primary? That would be a concern in some areas.

KatharinaRosalie · 10/06/2021 15:40

In my 5th country at the moment. There are many things that would stop me from moving to specific countries, but I can't really think of anything that would stop me from moving in general, if the right opportunity comes along.

CookPassBabtridge · 10/06/2021 16:21

We did it, we lived in the Middle East for 2 years and it was amazing.. it worked well as had family over there otherwise would have been harder.
Not sure I would do it with kids!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/06/2021 16:49

We lived and worked in the Middle East for 13 years, 10 of those with young children. We all enjoyed it, so if I was at the same stage of life again, I’d do it again.
Not now (much older!) though.

We have relatives in Singapore and have visited several times. I wouldn’t want to live there though - very clean and well organised, but hot and extremely humid. It works well for a lot of expats, though, and there’s no need to learn another language.
.

workwoes123 · 10/06/2021 17:01

We did - and still are! Went from U.K. to NZ, lived there 5 years and had our first baby. Then moved from NZ to France, been here 13 years, second child born here.

Its difficult being away from aging family. We lived NZ but it was too far from family once the first grandchild came along. Mainland Europe really suits us though Brexit and Covid have thrown some major spammers in the works 🙄.

DH has been to Singapore with work (also a teacher). I think if you both move into the international school circuit, working and with your children going to the schools, you will find yourself in a pretty nice bubble. The language won’t be a problem, you’ll have a ready made circle of other Anglophone migrants to mix with, you’re following a well trodden path. If you want to travel, teaching is a great career for it, especially if you are PGCE qualified etc.

newnortherner111 · 10/06/2021 17:09

If it had not been for Brexit, I would be probably be retiring to the south of France. The only concern was not having too many options if I had to return for whatever reason.

ComtesseDeSpair · 10/06/2021 17:21

I’d miss the freedom of just existing in a culture I know and can navigate effortlessly without having to think about it. We have a few friends who’ve moved away in the past couple of years and it’s what they’ve found most difficult and still find difficult a while down the line: all the things you do take so much more effort and cause so much more stress. And I have several of friends who moved to the UK from elsewhere who’ve said it took them years to stop feeling like an outsider who didn’t know how to do things, and that everyone was judging them for it, and that their grasp of the language wasn’t perfect enough to catch subtleties nuance when talking to people and trying to make friends. I’d struggle to give up the lovely life I have here, to potentially feel that way.

Apart from that, I’d miss London massively, I don’t think there’s another city quite like it. And I’d miss my friends.

Sometimesonly · 10/06/2021 17:28

With children your age and for two years then yes, I probably would. As it is I am closer to retirement and would like to retire to France but dh is not keen!

fruitbrewhaha · 10/06/2021 17:34

Do it OP. I've lived in a number of places and would do it agsin in a heartbeat. Life is an adventure to be lived.