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Original poster

Bad experience at dentist, can't shake it off

49 replies

GnomeyGnome · 10/06/2021 12:41

I'll start this by saying that my dental problems are of my own doing. I know this and feel awful.

Years ago I had a bad experience at the dentist which made me too scared to go back. Just the thought of even making an appointment caused me to panic. As the years have gone on I've tried to look after my teeth but obviously not well enough. I've had a tough few years but things are getting better now and I want to set a good example for my kids so decided it was time to get my teeth looked at. It took me a long time to build up the nerve to book the appointment but I did and managed to get a check up. Explained my fears to the dentist and he was lovely. I need an extraction and 2 fillings.

Went back on Monday for the fillings and dentist used local anaesthetic on one side for the deep filling but said the one on the other side was so small there was no need for anaesthetic. He started drilling then suddenly I experienced a really sharp pain in the tooth. I put my hand up for him to stop and explained it hurt but he said it shouldn't be hurting it was just vibrations. He started again and again the pain came and I sort of jerked. He again said "No, there's no reason for it to hurt, we'll be done in a minute". I felt so ridiculous at that point because I was obviously just being a baby so I didn't say anything else and let him carry on. My whole body began shaking, so much so that the nurse had to (gently) hold my shoulder to try to steady me. When it was finally over he explained that the decay was a lot deeper than he initially thought so he'd had to drill more than anticipated but all looked good now. He did the other filling and I didn't feel that one. Finished up, paid and left.

As soon as I walked out I began crying and I've been emotional since then. I keep crying for no reason. I was so proud of myself for working through the fear and looking after my teeth again but now I feel like the fear is even worse and the thought of going back in 6 months makes me want to throw up.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom, things that have helped them overcome fears of the dentist? I think it's the feeling of helplessness while I'm sitting in the chair that is the most awful thing for me. Sorry this is so long. I feel ridiculous.

OP posts:

CrazyCatsAndKittens · 10/06/2021 12:45

I'm not in the UK, but is it difficult to change dentists?

My old dentist was so awful. Everything she did hurt. I got an abscess and she decided to treat it without any painkillers and I ended up in floods of tears because it hurt so much.

My new dentist is really so kind and gentle and his treatment never hurts. He always asks me if I'm ok and would stop instantly if I was in any pain.

I was also terrified of seeking a new dentist, but I was lucky the second time to get someone so kind.

Original poster

GnomeyGnome · 10/06/2021 13:03

It's taken me months to find this one, not many are taking on new patients near me. The dentist actually seemed really lovely and perhaps he thought that the injection would be more traumatic for me than the drilling. I should have made it clear to him that the injections were not the problem. I'm not needle phobic and quite frankly would be happy for my whole mouth to be completely numb for hours to not have to go through that again!

I am usually so good at advocating for myself and other people when needed and I do so in every other aspect of my life. But for some irrational reason I just crumble at the dentist.

OP posts:

Golden2021 · 10/06/2021 13:09

Knowing your history he should have injected your whole mouth. Next time you can be more assertive and say you won't have any treatment without anaesthetic. You can always ask your GP for diazepam. Well done for going though, you did the right thing.

Interested in this thread?

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Dental health

Original poster

GnomeyGnome · 10/06/2021 14:25

Thank you. Yes I definitely need to be more assertive next time, I just turned into a bumbling mess. I can't explain it.

OP posts:

Golden2021 · 10/06/2021 15:39

I totally understand it, op. It can make you feel very vulnerable. I have many fillings and have never had one without an injection, nor would I accept one. It's also really shitty that it turns out it was deeper and you did actually need one. It's not good enough, but you say that he was nice. It would affect my trust in them.

Original poster

GnomeyGnome · 10/06/2021 19:18

Yes vulnerable is definitely the right word I think. I still have to have a tooth extracted but that's been referred elsewhere as it's a complex extraction and weirdly I don't feel as nervous about that. DH has said he'll contact some dentists for me in the coming weeks and perhaps see if there's at least a waiting list I can be put on. The thought of explaining it all to a new dentist is just as scary but as it stands I just can't see myself being able to go back there when my check up is due.

OP posts:

Poppetjohn · 10/06/2021 19:42

If it makes you feel better, my dentist dislocated my jaw and I had my mouth stuck open, completely unable to close it or move it, for FOUR HOURS in A&E.

The next time I went to a different dentist and explained what had happened so they could reassure me. I advise you to do the same.

MissConductUS · 10/06/2021 19:53

I've had a lot of dental work (think 7 implants and numerous root canals and extractions). You have to establish a relationship with the dentist so he or she gets to know your needs. I don't feel a lot of pain during simple procedures, so we often skip the novocaine, which he prefers as it's easier to tell if my bite is correct afterward if I'm not numb.

Now he knows that you need a lot of local anesthesia and it should be fine going forward. Well done to you for getting back into treatment.

Noway100 · 10/06/2021 19:57

The only solution for this is to never go back to that dentist and to find one you like and trust (probably an experienced private one) who wouldn't dream of treating a patient like that. They had no right to continue to drill when you had said you were feeling pain. This website is full of great advice for dental phobics - when people have experiences like that it is no wonder they are phobic: www.dentalfearcentral.org/fears/pain/

jakeyboy1 · 10/06/2021 19:59

I am surprised they didn't just numb you anyway that is a risk and sets off some alarm bells.

If it helps I've had loads of dental work as a child. Always been fine. I had to have a root filling last year and sobbed like a baby.

Elieza · 10/06/2021 19:59

I had that ‘you don’t need anaesthesia for this tiny filling’ conversation too.

I told mine just to inject me anyway. Which he did even though he didn’t think I needed it. It just gave me confidence as I can’t stand dental pain.

Presumably I paid for the stuff in the nhs charge. I felt it was worth it.

Just insist the next time. It’s no skin off his nose so he should do it.

Mountaingoatling · 10/06/2021 20:04

I'm so sorry. I only go to female dentists after being in a similar situation and not going to a dentist for 10 years.

I have not had a bad experience since I switched to female dentists.

Worth considering if only because it breaks the association for you.

The idea of continuing to inflict pain on a woman who told you she was hurting is very creepy!!!

Holothane · 10/06/2021 20:11

This is horrific I had big fillings as a child in the 70s no anaesthesia, horrific the pain is awful. He should have never done this one ever says that to me it won’t happen end of. They can use numbing gel for the injections. Hugs.

FictionalCharacter · 10/06/2021 20:19

He was completely wrong to continue when you had asked him to stop. He was even more wrong to try to tell you it wasn’t hurting when you had told him it was. Those things would make me completely lose trust in him.

If you decide to go back to him, it would be best if you told him straight away, before you get into the chair, that he really hurt you and that you were very upset afterwards. He needs to know he can’t do that again.

Snoken · 10/06/2021 20:27

I have a fear of dentists too based on previous experience. I would always be really tense and scared when going to the dentist. Now I don't bother with the NHS dentists anymore, but instead I go to one who gives me gas and air during my appointments. It has made a world of difference. I go once a year (because it's expensive), when before I'd be lucky if I dragged myself to the dentist once every 5 years. With the gas and air, I don't feel a thing, I don't tense up, I don't feel scared. I feel like I'm a bit tipsy on a night out with friends.

Snoken · 10/06/2021 20:31

@GnomeyGnome

Thank you. Yes I definitely need to be more assertive next time, I just turned into a bumbling mess. I can't explain it.

I think that's totally understandable. Especially because of your physical situation (you are laying down whilst he is hovering above you) and because he is the experienced dentist who should know. It's hard to be assertive in those situations.

Original poster

GnomeyGnome · 10/06/2021 20:48

@Poppetjohn

If it makes you feel better, my dentist dislocated my jaw and I had my mouth stuck open, completely unable to close it or move it, for FOUR HOURS in A&E.

The next time I went to a different dentist and explained what had happened so they could reassure me. I advise you to do the same.

Oh gosh, that sounds horrific! Sorry that happened to you.

OP posts:

Original poster

GnomeyGnome · 10/06/2021 20:50

I really appreciate these replies. They have definitely helped calm me down a bit and not feel quite so ridiculous.

OP posts:

S0upertrooper · 10/06/2021 20:55

You can ask for local anaesthetic without adrenalin. For some people the adrenalin makes them feel sick and shake after. However, it's best to ask for it in advance as it can take longer for non adrenalin anaesthetic to take effect. Take some painkillers before you go to the dentist.

Noway100 · 10/06/2021 21:13

@S0upertrooper

Lack of local was her issue not adrenalin!

Heatherjayne1972 · 10/06/2021 21:19

You should be proud of yourself op
It is a big deal to come and see us. You had two fillings - it’s all done now. You’ve done it

Be kind to yourself. I promise no one thinks you’re being ridiculous
And yes there’s several types of anaesthetic- you can request one without adrenaline

Go you

Please come back and see (another ) the dentist again. Try not to leave it next time.

S0upertrooper · 11/06/2021 01:43

@Noway100, did you mean your comment to sound so rude?

Adrenalin can make some folk feel shaky and cry. The OP reported she was crying.

flapjackfairy · 11/06/2021 01:54

My daughter has a phobia of needles and doesn't like going to the dentist. She takes me in with her and puts music on through her headphones. She is in her 20s btw. 7
Could you take someone next time who could intervene if things take a bad turn ? The dentist should never have carried on when you said stop. No wonder you are upset.

AmadeustheAlpaca · 11/06/2021 02:05

Op, there is no way that your dentist should have continued drilling into your tooth without anaesthetic if you were in pain. He sounds appalling and I would complain to the surgery and never darken his doorstep again. I’m not surprised you were very upset, it’s horrible to be trapped in a dentists chair with some person who is to all intents and purposes torturing you, but at the same time telling you that you are imagining it. Vile. I have had problems with a dentist who swore he had anaesthetised me but when after 6 injections I still wasn’t numb I complained very very loudly and lo and behold the next injection worked. Some dentists are weird about anaesthetic and I do wonder if they try to save money by cutting down on use of painkillers or sell it on the black market (been watching too much TV about Illicit drug markets)

LimeAndLemons · 11/06/2021 05:53

I can't remember what I was having done but I remember the dentist hitting the nerve in one of my back teeth. I've never felt pain like it and I actually vomited in the treatment room. That was a few years ago.

I now see a different dentist in the same practice.

The last time my mouth was numbed my heart started racing and I felt like my head was going to explode, it only lasted for a minute or 2, does anyone else get this?

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