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Original poster

Traumatised over my son's choking this morning

40 replies

Shahira78 · 08/06/2021 17:31

My little boy choked on a cheerio this morning. I am still so shaken over this and my stomach is in knots. I can't even eat. I can't get his distressed face out of my head. It's on repeat and I don't think I'll be able to sleep, terrified of him even eating again - it was so scary.

I was alone with him and his brother, he is 5.5 and his brother, 4.
He took a big breath in (nose is slightly blocked due to a cold) when he was eating and it must have gotten lodged this way. He then started going red then dark red as he struggled for breath. I smacked his back several times then proceeded to do the Heimlich but I failed as he is quite a big boy. I then carried him out onto the street and screamed for help. Luckily some neighbours came out (I live on a terraced street) and one of the guys did the Heimlich, again, no success. Luckily another neighbour (ex-army) tried and after 5 tries the cheerio flew out. He couldn't breathe for about 3 minutes but it felt like an eternity.

I'm so so lucky to have my boy back and he is right as rain, I just can't help shaking and I feel sick to my stomach. I'm trying so hard to keep it together as I feel so traumatised and can't stop crying. I don't think I can't get over this.

Any advice would be so greatly appreciated right now.

Thank you so much for reading xx

OP posts:

ShowMeHow · 08/06/2021 17:34

Has your little boy been medically checked over she since?

You did all the right things and it will take a long time to process. So glad he is ok x

Si1ver · 08/06/2021 17:36

That must have been terrifying for you. No wonder you're shaken.

He must be checked at hospital following the Heimlich maneuver. Please take him if you haven't already.

Be kind to yourself, it'll get easier with time. Maybe take a first aid refresher course to help your confidence.

Hellocatshome · 08/06/2021 17:38

Did you take him to be checked afterwards. My son choked on a breadstick aged about 2.5 he went blue, me and DH took it in turns with back slaps etc and it took forever. When we went to Primary Care they checked him over thoroughly whi h out my mind at rest a bit. I can still picture his face now if I think about it and he is 14. Take your time and talk about it with friends and family.

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Moonshine11 · 08/06/2021 17:40

Omg op that’s terrifying! I’m so glad he’s ok, it will take awhile to get over.

You did all the right things and so pleased your neighbours came to your aid.

As pp he will need a check over.

JivingCoffeeCup · 08/06/2021 17:43

That must have been frightening. Be kind to yourself you did all the right things and got help when it was needed. Glad he is ok now.

It will stay with you and no doubt you will have fears about watching them eat and also what you give them to eat.

Echoing others have you had him checked since the Heimlich. X

PumpingPauper · 08/06/2021 17:45

Oh that's awfully scary, hope you're both OK now. Cry it out, it will get better xxx

FireworksAndSparklers · 08/06/2021 17:45

Please get him seen. Anyone who has had abdominal thrusts must be checked over in ED. Poor you, though. You responded absolutely perfectly and saved his life. Be kind to yourself.

NiceTwin · 08/06/2021 17:46

I was in a restaurant when an elderly man started to choke.
20+ years on, I still remember the terror on his face and the thought I was watching him die. It was truly awful and I have never managed to shake that feeling of helplessness.
I can fully understand why you are feeling delicate and I guess you will for some time yet.
Is your boy okay?

Original poster

Shahira78 · 08/06/2021 17:47

Thank you so much for your responses. They are helping me!

Yes, I took him to A&E and he got the all clear at 11am.

I took my first aid certificate back in 2010 so I definitely agree that I need a refresher course! I tried hard but nothing was happening so it was probably very lodged because I remember the breath that he took in.

I am honestly so scared to even be alone with them tomorrow morning. Is it weird to ask my husband to take the morning off and be their with me, or is this too much?

I want this day over with. Worst day of my life but strangely happiness because it so could have gone another way.

I am overthinking everything. All the what ifs..... I'm sure it will get better but right now, I'm not ok. I actually think I need some sort of therapy after this!! x

OP posts:

Onceuponatime1818 · 08/06/2021 17:48

Gosh how incredibly scary for you all. I also would be feeling the same way you are, I think it’s normal
To be Feeling like that, what an awful experience.

Onceuponatime1818 · 08/06/2021 17:49

If your husband can take tomo morning off and it helps you then defo ask!

Cam2020 · 08/06/2021 17:49

Oh, OP it's terrifying. No advice, just go easy on yourself, it'll take time to get over.

FireworksAndSparklers · 08/06/2021 17:50

If you need your husband home and he can do that easily then go for it. Have a family day together and relish each other's company. It'll be good for you and probably help draw a bit of a line under your hideous experience. You need to use this to help you make the most of every moment rather than spend every moment fearful and sad. You've got this xxx

Moonshine11 · 08/06/2021 17:50

Deffo ask if it helps you op.
I think I would feel the same.

AdjustableAssholeSettings · 08/06/2021 17:51

The chances of it happening again tomorrow are miniscule, so I think tomorrow you need to try and put it out of your mind so you can focus on reassuring him.
It must have been terrifying. Stiff drink/strong cuppa.

8monthsinandcranky · 08/06/2021 17:51

He needs to be checked over medically OP!
My 1yo chocked on a finger of banana, luckily he was with my DH who is a hospital doctor and knew how to clear/handle it.

We still got him checked out though as it’s very easy to damage a rib or rupture something when using adult force on a child. Obviously this is minor damage and worth it to clear their airway but even though he ‘seems fine’ now he needs checking over by a medic

LostThings · 08/06/2021 17:53

You poor thing, what a horrible experience. So glad your little boy is ok. I would feel exactly the same as you. Rationally, the chances of it happening again tomorrow are tiny, but I understand you being worried and wanting your husband to be there. I think your reaction is completely normal.

Leftphalange · 08/06/2021 17:53

How distressing that must have been- I think your current emotions sound totally understandable. Hope he is OK now. It sounds like you the correct things x

Celandines · 08/06/2021 17:54

I had this with dd1 when she was a baby with some gripe water. She couldn't breathe. I'd done first aid in a postnatal group the day before and did the patting on the back thing but that didn't work. I ran outside in bare feet and knocked on the neighbour's door and luckily dd started breathing just before she opened the door. I remember feeling ill with the fright and the neighbour made me a cup of tea. The GP said with liquid like gripe water they'd always recover. I think she was crying when I gave it to her which was silly of me. Glad your ds is ok

TapirTastic · 08/06/2021 17:55

Be kind to yourself - by getting help you saved him. You’re a resourceful, quick-thinking fabulous mum and your son is lucky to have you.

Toddlerteaplease · 08/06/2021 17:58

That's terrifying. Be kind to your self OP. And get a refresher first aid course. But also we'll done to you. You helped him and got him the help he needed.

Fyredraca · 08/06/2021 18:00

Oh you poor thing! Must have been awful for you
I choked on mange tout in a restaurant a few years ago, it was so scary. DH is ex army and has a lot of first aid experience and he basically saved my life.

I went on a first aid course not long after so I would know what to do if I was with someone and it happened.
The kids are 14 and 10 now and I still cut grapes up!
Try and unclench now, thank goodness that you went out into the street and you still have him.
Hold him tight and have a good cry to release the tension when he's gone to bed.
Sending an unmumsnetty hug

Original poster

Shahira78 · 08/06/2021 18:01

Thank you so much for all of your responses. Such kindness here that I'm typing in tears.

I took some wine and a card to the man across the road about an hour ago. There were no words I could have used to express my gratitude! He is working from home 50% of the time due to lockdown. Thank God he was there! There was definitely no time for an ambulance.

Again, thank you so much. I really appreciate these words and will probably read this all back at 3am when I will, no doubt, be wide awake x

OP posts:

DonLewis · 08/06/2021 18:03

Oh honey, what a terrible shock you've all had. I'd be the same. In fa t, I think most people would.

You acted so fast though, so it goes to show what you can do when you need to. Remember that.

You've had a massive adrenaline crash. It'll take time. Have a big cuddle with your wee lad, might help?

juicey09 · 08/06/2021 18:08

Seeing our children scared or in real distress is very difficult to deal with. I've had 2 experiences as a mum that genuinely haunt me. One of which has left me with ptsd.
Be kind to yourself and take it easy. Cuddle him and feel that he is safe and here.
Grounding yourself can be really helpful when processing this sort of thing

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