Traumatised over my son's choking this morning

[Shahira78]

My little boy choked on a cheerio this morning. I am still so shaken over this and my stomach is in knots. I can't even eat. I can't get his distressed face out of my head. It's on repeat and I don't think I'll be able to sleep, terrified of him even eating again - it was so scary.

I was alone with him and his brother, he is 5.5 and his brother, 4.
He took a big breath in (nose is slightly blocked due to a cold) when he was eating and it must have gotten lodged this way. He then started going red then dark red as he struggled for breath. I smacked his back several times then proceeded to do the Heimlich but I failed as he is quite a big boy. I then carried him out onto the street and screamed for help. Luckily some neighbours came out (I live on a terraced street) and one of the guys did the Heimlich, again, no success. Luckily another neighbour (ex-army) tried and after 5 tries the cheerio flew out. He couldn't breathe for about 3 minutes but it felt like an eternity.

I'm so so lucky to have my boy back and he is right as rain, I just can't help shaking and I feel sick to my stomach. I'm trying so hard to keep it together as I feel so traumatised and can't stop crying. I don't think I can't get over this.

Any advice would be so greatly appreciated right now.

Thank you so much for reading xx

Sending you a massive hug op what a shock. Thank goodness he is well. Absolutely seek therapy if you feel you need it. Talk about it to whoever will listen until then to help you process what had happened.

You have had a huge shock. Thank goodness for your quick thinking and your neighbour.

I have had similar situations and I have to focus on the positive outcome and not the what ifs.

How is your son now. Have a quiet evening and give your boys a big hug

I'm so glad your DS is ok. You must be very shaken.
My advice is to talk about it to as many people as possible, and allow yourself to process it. You will always feel a bit shaken by this but it will get easier to deal with.

My son choked on Calpol when he was very small, I don't know how it happened, but it got clogged in his throat and he could cough it up or swallow it. It was the most frightening experience and I felt like you and completely lost my confidence and couldn't bear to be alone with him. However, nothing like that ever happened again and that was 12 years ago. One day it will just be a story you tell.

It is absolutely normal of you to feel very shaken. But you were brilliant. You did the right things. You attracted help. And it worked. Your gorgeous little boy is completely fine. But you have been through a major trauma. Because at least part of you will have been convinced that the worst was happening, and so quickly. It does take time to get over that. The children tend to recover from these events much faster than their parents. You will recover. Those incredibly vivid pictures in your head will gradually fade, as more recent and innocent pictures push in front of them. What you may never lose is that intense awareness, sharpened through the lens of fear, of just how much loved and precious your son is.

It is good that you have thanked the man across the road. But in giving you and your son the incredible gift of restored breath, he has in turn received something amazing. There is nothing in the world that really compares with the feeling of terror and elation at having helped save a child's life. That amazing man will probably look back at this day on his deathbed, and know from just that moment that his own life was worth living.

Poor you, how scary! It’s awful when something like that happens. My daughter choked on a lump in mashed potato as a toddler and it was genuinely the scariest thing ever, and I still think about it often now and she’s 18!

As things like this tend to get a bit stuck in our minds, writing it down can be helpful- the whole scenario in as much detail as you can remember.

Read and re-read it... help your brain to process that it was a successful ending. You were capable and able in a terrifying situation. You acted in a way that saved his life. You are a hero and he is a survivor of a choking episode that he might remember but might forget.

Food is a pleasure and also necessary for fuel- know that it is very unusual for it to happen but should it do do again, you absolutely will kick in to action to do what's necessary.

Just to reassure you, I choked on an apple as a toddler. My mum had to call 999. She is still petrified of children choking but I have no recollection and still happily eat apples.
I hope you got yourself a bottle of wine too.

Terrifying experience for you Op, no wonder you are feeling shaken, but as pp’s said, you did the rights things and got help so it turned out ok. Well done for that.
The Red Cross do two downloadable apps for adult and Paediatric First Aid that you fought download for free and work through the situations, they have instructions/diagrams and videos, just go to the App Store to get them.

How terrifying for you OP, you handled it well. Your DS is well and will soon forget about it, you however won’t ever forgot it, I know. But hopefully the memory will be less raw given time

Congratulations!

You kept your cool, you tried yourself then you went outside & shouted for help! Perfect! You did everything you needed to. Well done.

It is terrifying, but you need to acknowledge how well you coped 'in the moment'

I don't think you should get DH to stay home. (Won't DS be going to school anyway?). I'd probably give him yogurt/soup/porridge etc & definitely not cherios! But I think moving past it is going to be better for you. But you know you best?!

How does DS seem now? How's DS2??

My baby brother had convulsions as a toddler, I'm more scared by it than him - he doesn't even remember it, where as I remember every scary moment of it!

Don’t be ashamed to ask your Dh / someone to stay home with you tomorrow.

This weekend while we were away a child in the same pool as us was pulled out unconscious and given cpr on the side of the pool.
It was horrific
The next day I got another adult to come swimming with me and the dc even though I’m a qualified swimming instructor and they are all able to swim.
Next time we go I’ll be fine on my own.

nocoolnamesleft thank you so much. Your message really got me - so powerful. Made me so very emotional.

Thank you all for your support. I am very grateful to you all.

Much love x

I am sorry it must have been frightening. I am sorry when you patted his back was he still sitting up right? From the courses I have done if a child is sitting upright and you pat their back you risk dislodging the item and it going further down the windpipe. My aupair did this when my son was choking on a biscuit - she patted his back and then he stopped breathing so I put him over my arm and thumped his back and he started again.
A lot of charities like St John's ambulance do 3-4hr first aid course for very cheap if anyone is interested.
I am glad your little boy is OK.

Also, you might want to ask the GP to check the size of his tonsils. Huge tonsils can almost meet at the back, are called "kissing tonsils" and can increase the risk of choking.

Hopeful he hasn't though and it was a one off event that will never happen again.