Hold my hand, please - I'm in Emergency with Mum ...

[OutOfMyDepthOutOfMyMind]

(NC, as this might be outing)

See title ... and it looks as though this might be her 2nd, life-threatening hypertensive crisis in as many years.

I can't reach my fucking family, can't reach any of my close friends. Got my 2nd COVID shot early this morning and I think I've a temperature myself.

I know I've got to really hold it together and be a fucking adult here, but ... shit, I'm panicked and exhausted and alone and I really want my mum!

Please hand hold me for a bit until someone IRL turns up!

Hand hold here I really hope someone turns up to be with you soon- x

Hand hold here.

Oh no. Sorry to hear this. It's awful to feel so alone. You're not though. Keep talking if you need to.

There's another hand to hold here 🤝

holding your hand.

you don't have to be anything or "behave" in anyway.
so sorry about her state of health and you being scared. it's shit.
sending you a big hug

Hand hold. Have you eaten today? Can you get some food or a hot sweet drink? She's in the best place. Think on the positives - you are lucky to be able to stay with her for now. Good luck. I hope it goes well and you get through to family soon.

keep talking.
or rambling.

(you can always ask thread to be deleted if you feel you shared too much)

Thing that doesnmy head in: after her 1st crisis, mum seems to have just sort of ... resigned herself that she's about to keel over dead. Doesn't really monitor her values, skips doctor's appointments, doesn't keep an up-to-date list of her medications.

She, literally, tried to forbid to call an ambulance while lying on the floor. (At that point, of course, I did anyway, saying "mum, if you're going to off yourself by the means of self-sabotage, I'm afraid you'll have to do it without my assistance."

I know major health crises can lead to depression - which I'm pretty sure she has. I've tried to talk her into therapy. She simply opted to keep on self-sabotaging until she collapses again. Luckily, just as I was there.

I can't do this! I'm only in my thirties and in no way ready to be the adult in this relationship!

And, yes, I'm rambling ...

But thanks for your thoughts everyone.

Still can't get anyone on the stupid phone. Except my work colleague, whom I actually just informed that I might not be in tomorrow.

Hey. Another hand here.

Holding your hand❤️ Praying for your mum and for you

you poor thing.
that's so hard.😢

Can't even be there ... COVID and all. So ... I'm sitting in a waiting room, awaiting news from the doctors and starting to get angry at my wild child sister who's got the most INCREDIBLE talent for never answering her phone in an emergency.

I know I'm really just stressed out of my mind and projecting like a multiplex cinema ...

that's so frustrating.

I tried to call my DH the other day, no answer (he was working). so then I tried each of my 4 teens, all at home, usually glued to phone. not a single bloody one of them answered. I was shaking with rage and it wasn't even a true emergency.

so totally get your anger.
it's hideous when there's no answer when you REALLY need one. let's hope she picks up soon or that you can reach someone to let her know.

so many emotions for you. gosh, I wish U could jump in the car and physically be there for you

*I could jump in the car

bloody keyboard

Been through this myself quite a few times and it's absolutely shit. At our hospital, one person is allowed to be in the room with the patient so might be worth asking about that again.

Really sorry you’re going through this, op. Handhold from me. I’m currently waiting to hear if my mum is out of spinal surgery...feeling helpless is rubbish. I hope that your family catch on and help you out soon and that your mum is ok x

Sadly no non-patients allowed. Got told nicely but firmly to please stay in the waiting room or outside.

And, yes, it's infuriating when you can't reach anyone that one time you need them. It's not as though people don't otherwise post their food to Instagram at 2am.

Nurse just came to say this is going to be at least two hours still. They're running labs and putting mum through a bunch of tests.

@Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals, sorry, this sounds tough!!!

Hope your mum will be alright

Oh, that’s awful OP. I hope she’s ok 💐

@Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals

Really sorry you’re going through this, op. Handhold from me. I’m currently waiting to hear if my mum is out of spinal surgery...feeling helpless is rubbish. I hope that your family catch on and help you out soon and that your mum is ok x

holding your hand too. hoping for the best news, soon! x

Can’t imagine how hard it is to go through this stuff at the moment without being able to be there and talk to staff/ be involved in ward rounds etc. It was hard enough when I could, to feel so isolated must be awful.
Can you distract yourself to pass the time? Do your online shop? Stupid phone games?

Their cash machine is out of service due to building work. Have decided to walk into town, get some cash, buy something to drink for myself, maybe sit in a café for an hours while I keep on trying to get hold of my sister.

Have considered calling dad - but my parents are divorced, not on great terms and he's an alcoholic qanon conspiracy nut with whom I argue each time we speak. I'm only considering it because I'm somehow hoping "pre-crazy dad" might answer the phone. Which is about as likely to happen as me being elected pope.

pooping out for a drink is a good idea.

maybe you could just text him instead of calling, so less space for confrontation but he still gets the info.

Text or WhatsApp your sister?