Nearly 4 year old won't attempt to draw or write his name

[Motherofmonsters]

DS is four in July and has never drawn a picture that isn't a messy scribble. He's got the dexterity to but just isn't interested at all. Any mark making is just a messy scribble.

I'm trying to not let it worry me but all his peers are writing words etc

How can I encourage him or do I just need to wait until he's interested?

He's mark making, that's enough. Plenty of kids aren't arsed about reading and writing until later. It's not something I'd be concerned about at all.

My DSs (he was 4 end of Nov) nursery school class really push them but he's only recently seen the point in it and the penny is beginning to drop with phonics etc.

Reading eggs is a really good app and just keep reading to him etc.

He is 3, honestly don’t worry about it. In reception my son was happy to draw squiggles and pictures at the start of the year, by the end he could write short sentences. He’s still tiny OP, just give him crayons and pencils and let him do what he wants.

My DS was exactly the same. In the end I decided to let the professional teach him and concentrate on other things. After one term of school he was writing short sentences.

If you want to try something, outdoor chalks are usually quite cheap and fun

I wouldnt worry. Mark making is enough at this age. Let school teach him to write.

With DD before I started getting her to write her name I got some magnetic letters and she was putting them together to make her name. She also enjoyed the wipe clean books to help with letter formation.

Lots of just 4yos start Reception without being able to do neat marks or write their names.
Agree with PP, outdoor chalks, painting with water on pavings, sticks in sand etc can help.
Also large Hamma beads, threading, lego/duplo are good for fine motor skills.

I’m like you and tend to compare my DD to her peers for things like this...and then I remember...

My husband (born and brought up in England by immigrant parents) couldn’t speak English until he was 4. He’s now one of the most verbose, successful people I know.

My brother had to have physiotherapy because he couldn’t walk properly as a child. He now runs a marathon at a ‘good for age’ pace.

My sister couldn’t speak until she was gone three. Not a word. She’s now a successful dentist, running her own business.

My DS wouldn’t mark make or hold a writing implement of any kind until they practically forced him to in reception. By the end of year 1 he could write reasonably well, albeit he’s on the messier end of the normal handwriting range! Some of his reception class started able to write sentences, but many didn’t know the alphabet properly and couldn’t write their names. A few years in and where they started in reception has not been a predictor of who can do what now.

Your child is 3. Even my DD, who is now just finishing preschool writing simple words more neatly than her brother (but she’s an autumn birthday so 4.5), wasn’t doing more than the odd crayon scribble at 3. Chill. Write big in sand, with chalk, on misted windows... he’ll get there when he’s ready.

My child's 4.5, didn't realise he was supposed to be able to write his own name by now let alone short sentences!

I doubt all his peers are writing words (not without considerable parental support anyway). Not many kids that age can write more than their name, and many can do that.

Don’t worry, once he’s interested/ goes to school and sees others doing it, he’ll get it. He isn’t going to fall behind because he’s not writing at 3.

• many can’t do that.

They learn to write at school - that’s what its for? You don’t need to send them to school already able to write. It would be better to let them follow the teachers instructions for how to hold the pencil and how to form the letters correctly.

I am in Ireland so children here start to write at about 5. None of mine knew any letters or how to write at all before school but quickly learned. My eldest has some issues with handwriting but got a bit of extra help with that at school and is doing well now.

That messy scribble is the first stage in learning to write. As time goes on he will develop more and more don’t worry and don’t push him

I was like this last year with my son. He loves talking about numbers and me reading to him. If I try letters or writing he gets very stroppy and tells me he only works on a Saturday 🤣 he now just over 4 and going to be starry school in September so I leave it to him now and have fun whilst he’s not at school. I still get him drawing and doing fine motor skills and he’s started telling
Me some letters on sign post and things like that but I think that’s why they go to school I’m not a teacher and what if I teach it wrong and he has to re learn everything again

Honestly my DS went to school at just turned 4 and he started loving thing like colouring. He'd never been interested and I'd tried everything from wipe board, magnetic boards and letter tracing. Your DS will pick it up and will be more inclined to practice if you make it thing like a shopping list, Christmas letter or list, his name in a card at the weekend once at school.

My 3 year old ds (4 in September) is exactly the same. he has great fine motor skills, he's just not interested in drawing/crafts/writing etc, it's never an activity that he actively chooses to do. Obviously I just keep giving him the opportunity to do so but I don't push it

My eldest was absolutely resolute in her refusal to write her name etc at nursery. They called me in to discuss her lack of school-readiness and I got in a right state. I completely lost it when the little guests to her birthday tea party had all written the cards themselves...

A wise woman reassured me at the time and pointed out that good writers are not those solely with the physical skill to write. They are those with an imagination, a love for communicating ideas and an appreciation of stories. She was absolutely right.

Dd has sailed through primary school with never a concern raised since. 4 is too early to worry aboht this, it's a predictor of nothing.

DS was around 4 when I noticed that his scribbles were unusual - turned out that (among other things) his eyesight was very bad (+8 on both eyes). After he got his glasses and was able to see the paper (and his hands etc.) his scribbles improved.

My 4.5 year old still scribbles. My 3.5 year old can almost write his name. Seriously, they develop in their own time

Have you had his eyes tested?

DC1 could barely hold a pencil before starting school. Summer born so one of the youngest. With just half a term left of reception we get full sentences now and a genuine interest in writing and drawing that just wasn’t there before.

This time last year I was worried too, but I really didn’t need to be.

I think at this stage you’re better off focusing on life skills for school prep. Getting dressed unaided, making sure they can wipe properly after the toilet, eating with a knife and fork, etc.

@DarcyLewis

Have you had his eyes tested?

I haven't but it's not that I can't tell what the scribbles are it's more he just takes the pencils and covers the whole page. He calls it a messy picture so he's aware he's not drawing anything

I wouldn’t worry. My DD is 4 and can only write the first letter of her name. My DS point blank refused to even attempt his name until he started school but picked up writing quickly once he was in Reception and at the end of year 1 he’s one of the better writers in his class.

As a former reception teacher, I can totally reassure you that the majority of children can’t write when they start school. The few that can, can write their name, a few letters and maybe a few other important words like family names. Any more than that is definitely out the normal range. Normal pre-school aged writing (from those that are motivated to do it) is random letters, or lines, squiggles and shapes. If he calls that his writing that’s fine. My DD loves to write her own shopping list when I do mine, but anyone looking at it would just think it was scribbles.

He’ll see the point of it more once he starts school. Until then encourage fine motor skills with things like play dough, jigsaws, pegs, threading etc and read/ sing with him as those all form the foundation of the story structure/ phonics skills that feed into writing later.

Thank you for your replies, it's making me feel better. I'm sure when he's interested he could do it, he just would rather be running around

As others have said, it really isn't an indicator of later success, so don't worry. They have to be physically and mentally ready to write, but once they are there it comes along very quickly. If they are bright, they will quickly catch up or pass early writers/those older in year. Plenty of Lego, Playdoh, mark making etc will help strengthen the finger muscles whilst their brain readies itself.
Both my DCs are Summer borns, now in yr2 and yrR. DC1 started school being able to write her name but no other letters, and not knowing many letter sounds. She was in the first small group of DCs in her year group to complete the phonics scheme. She is now reading yr4 books, which is incredible when you think about the low starting point 2.5yrs ago.
DC2 couldn't form any letters a year ago at 3yo, although was an early reader and started the phonics scheme on level 3. By the time she started reception in Sept, I had got her forming most of her letters after some effort, but she couldn't write words or even her name. By the time we restarted homeschooling in January, she was able to write several sentences at a time using some fairly long and tricky words (spelled phonetically, not necessarily correctly!). She has continued to be an advanced reader, but she is being quickly caught up by the other able DCs in her class and by the end of the term I expect there will be little difference between them.
The school have worked some kind of miracle with both DCs. Both DCs progress in writing, and DC1's in reading has been phenomenal.

@Motherofmonsters

Thank you for your replies, it's making me feel better. I'm sure when he's interested he could do it, he just would rather be running around

Do get his eyes tested though, it’s free for children.