If you don't live in a standard "normal" way, how do you live?

[curiositykilledthecatsplat]

Curious to know how people live if you don't live in "standard" way, how do you live? ie you live in a commune, you travel the world with your family etc etc

Not me but my aunt and uncle. They had a yacht built to their specification, retired and spent the next 10 years travelling the globe. They have amazing stories of bartering for different things and the wonderful places they have seen. Not sure DM felt the same when she visited them in Guadalupe and her suitcase missed the connecting flight and she had to wait two days to get it back!

Another expat here. First stint in an EU country 20 years ago, then a big gap back in the UK, then ten years in the middle east, now south east Asia. Other than that, pretty boring and pretty standard.

Are you surrounded by neatly cut lawns by any chance or geometric gardens?

@EarthSight I am indeed, plus the Concrete King next door who loves his weed killer and his mildew removing, concrete cleaning solutions that he seems to spray every other week. Plus he 'washes' it down weekly to keep it clean.

He sits in his back garden in his sun lounger and stares at his concrete garden - his front and back garden have been completely concreted over. He's been traumatised by ants the last few days so is currently raising hell on them.

[quote shewalkslikerihanna]@longmein
Waves at toyah
Lol[/quote]

Ha ha ha!
Say Hi to Robert Fripp for me!

I’m boring but my friends have lived in a converted bus for over 20 years, they drive around parking up for days, weeks or months depending on how long they are allowed to stay. Both work part time in jobs they can do from wherever they can plug their computer into.

I work with families including those who live in multi generational homes, I visited a baby and she was the 5th generation living in that home. Others have many children in a small space, one has 9 children in a 2 bed flat, the biggest was 13 children in a 3 bed house.

Not conventional but not as interesting as some of these posts either.

@zebrapig that sounds amazing.

I live with my ex-husband and we co-parent our kid. We are the best of friends, and love each other to bits, but no more than that, i.e. separate bedrooms.

We get on so much better than when we were married. We both had rotten childhoods, and have done a lot of growing up - and therapy - to get here.

@DesertRoze

I’ve namechanged for this.

I arrived in the Middle East as the 18 year old bride of a gulf National many many moons ago and though my marriage ended after almost 40 years I’m still here. Not that we’re divorced but we are separated and I’m the one still living here in my husbands home country whilst he has gone on to pastures new.

It’s been so interesting and included stints living in the desert as well as on an island where I was the only European women for long periods of time.

My children also lived in out of the way places with us before we made their education a priority and settled down in the city.

I laugh when I see influencers on the likes of Instagram posting their pictures of places they think they’ve discovered and I can recall being there 40 odd years ago when it really was something to write about.

My youngest adult son is severely autistic and I live with him in a custom built house that caters for all of his needs as well as mine as a mum who is too old to look after him on her own nowadays and needs the help of a 2-1 round the clock team of carers. All of my children live very close by, minutes away, and we see a lot of each other. My husband almost killed us such was the pain of our family breakdown but we got back on our feet and we are doing absolutely grand.

I’ve recently been asked to write a book about my experiences but right now I can’t honestly be bothered. I’ve had a very serious health scare this year and I like getting up in the morning and pleasing myself apart from days I look after some of my grandchildren so their parents can work.

I also travel quite a bit and my next adventure is to inter rail through Europe alone as soon as it’s ok to do so. I didn’t have a gap year so I’m going to do at 64 what I could have done at 18 if circumstances had been different. Im not buying a back pack though, I’ll stick to a suitcase, but I will stay in hostels when available.

I’ve had the most interesting of lives and I’ve absolutely no regrets.

Your life sounds fascinating. Good on you for doing inter railing. That’s amazing!

@Sometimesfraught82 we have both had decades of people bullying us, telling us we are weird, looking at us like we have two heads etc for some of the things we do and say, so fairly certain we are not the norm in that respect. Plus observations and conversations with close friends and family re how we differ. After years of nobody really understanding us, we both feel so lucky to have found someone who gets us

We have 7 children also between us. My partner has 4 and I have 2 then 1 between us. We live an unconventional life as we have never moved in together. We have two sets of everything and call it his n her houses. The children go between us as do we. The houses are about 45-1hour apart. The children are all happy and get on well. We very much co-parent all of the children. The ex’s are around but in the background at times. Partners ex sees the children for 4 hours a week and my ex is around about 30% of the time.

Its very unconventional and some days is like managing a football team but I wouldn't change. We treat our ‘step children’ the same as our biological children and all seem happy!

God, my life is so dull.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my life but it’s very normal!

I hanker after living in a commune. I have some very specific requirements so it would probably never work

I don’t anymore but I’ve spent my 20s managing country estates. I was provided a house, all bills were paid for. Basically a modern day Downton Abbey with butlers, drivers, gardeners etc... All the families were old money multi million/billionaires. It’s an entirely different way of life as everybody lives within the grounds.

Before the pandemic hit, DH would work all over Europe and I'd go with in him and in between we'd travel around in our campervan that he built. We'd often be away for a few months at a time.
Not brave enough to give up my house and do it full time though!

@belowdeckyoubet omg! I loooove Below Deck, please tell me more? Is it really like the programme with loads of hookups and drunken dramas and insanely demanding guests? Have you worked with any of the people that have appeared on the programmes - or indeed are you one of them?

Name changed for this as if anyone recognizes me I don't want them trawling through my past posts...
I live somewhere in the Alps and I sleep outside from March to November - either in the forest in a hammock, up on a mountain in a bivouac sack or on my balcony when I have to stay at home to actually work and earn money (unfortunately this is the majority of the time!)
I long-distance trek as much as I can which is sadly not often enough for me. I have done several of these in Norway - both solo and with my ex - with tent. Also done countless treks in the Alps but from hut to hut.
I'm self-employed doing various different things - whatever pays really.
I couldn't cope with being employed - always felt like I was in prison.
I feel like I am prison when I have to sleep inside too but the temperatures are very low here in the winter.

I try to keep it all under control and maintain some semblance of a conventional life. What I would really like to do is just get a rucksack on my back and wander the world until I drop down dead. I'm only happy when I'm roaming around outside.

@israidc

I'll join you, Israidc.

That sounds like my dream.

Snowdonia off grid. What do y keep busy with. Sounds remote I think I’d get so lazy. Do u

From reading thousands of MN posts I think I am unique (on here at least!)

I am an only child and never met my grandparents. I have no aunts, uncles or cousins, and my parents died years ago.

I have never been married and have no children and don't live with a partner.

In other words, I have no living blood relations whatsoever (that I know of).

I also have no workmates; I have my own one-woman small business and have not been employed in a workplace for 20 years.

I am very rural and completely off grid, I wake up to hare and rabbits in the garden, all sorts of birds and deer in the nearby fields. I always wanted to live in the middle of nowhere and it’s amazing. We have solar panels, a wind turbine, batteries and a generator and a lot of water plant. We have all the normal stuff inside the home, the only slight difference could be the lpg gas range cooker instead of an electric one. Most supermarkets do deliver here but occasionally get lost, we get no takeaway delivery at all and we can’t grow anything that doesn’t get eaten by the wildlife or a sheep that has wandered into the garden.

It’s not all great as if there is an issue you need to sort it out or get hold of someone who will. It can be hard getting electricians who will work on off grid home wiring and you need specialists for the generation and storage of the electricity.

I’m also into financial independence and retiring early and plan to retire before I’m 45. Mr money moustache is a great place to start reading although it’s American and some threads on the money matters board here. There are more and more Uk bloggers on the subject now and it’s a really exciting idea.

I have been accused of living on another planet for both of these ideas and whilst some friends were supportive, others haven’t been, so I dont talk about either now in person.

I envy all the travellers, I love holidays but I think I have been too focused on saving for retirement than living at times,

@Hawse

My grandparents and some extended family (huge family) are all old-colony mennonite (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Colony_Mennonites). My great great great great grandfather was the leader of the colony in Russia, and responsible for leading the emigration out of Russia and into Canada, setting up the new colony (commune) in Manitoba, and later some family set up a similar commune in Mexico. My mother grew up in the faith, only speaking low-german, and my uncles weren't educated beyond primary (which is customary, as you work the farm). I recall going to church with my grandparents where men and women still were sex segregated, and they dont believe in musical instruments; women still cover their hair and dress modest. My mother left though, and raised us outside - so it was extremely odd growing up, spending summers and holidays with my mennonite family - having to dress differently, and speak a different language. However, the community aspect of it / looking after each other is amazing, and something I quite miss now. I love their village and have an interest in the faith, and am trying to keep some mennonite traditions alive in my own family.

Fascinating past.

@clairethewitch70

I live in a witches cottage in woodland, with a full size labyrinth and a working well.

I want a labrynth on my decking. I’d love a stone circle but have not got the space

@Hawse

My grandparents and some extended family (huge family) are all old-colony mennonite (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Colony_Mennonites). My great great great great grandfather was the leader of the colony in Russia, and responsible for leading the emigration out of Russia and into Canada, setting up the new colony (commune) in Manitoba, and later some family set up a similar commune in Mexico. My mother grew up in the faith, only speaking low-german, and my uncles weren't educated beyond primary (which is customary, as you work the farm). I recall going to church with my grandparents where men and women still were sex segregated, and they dont believe in musical instruments; women still cover their hair and dress modest. My mother left though, and raised us outside - so it was extremely odd growing up, spending summers and holidays with my mennonite family - having to dress differently, and speak a different language. However, the community aspect of it / looking after each other is amazing, and something I quite miss now. I love their village and have an interest in the faith, and am trying to keep some mennonite traditions alive in my own family.

@Hawse, have you read the novels of Miriam Toews?

I live in a small Scottish castle/tower. It has a LOT of stairs! It's hugely inconvenient as a house, but it's in a wonderful setting with sensational views. We'll stay as long as we can, until our legs give out.

@CallMeCleo

From reading thousands of MN posts I think I am unique (on here at least!)

I am an only child and never met my grandparents. I have no aunts, uncles or cousins, and my parents died years ago.

I have never been married and have no children and don't live with a partner.

In other words, I have no living blood relations whatsoever (that I know of).

I also have no workmates; I have my own one-woman small business and have not been employed in a workplace for 20 years.

Wow cleo that sounds extremely unusual. Are you happy? Content