DP wants the baby to be vegetarian...

[CassandrasCastle]

DP said this morning that he would like DD (13 months) to eat a veggie diet, and that we should think about asking the nursery to accordingly change the food they give her.

I just don't really want to! We cook and eat mostly vegetarian at home, and I totally get DP's ethical concerns re. meat, but I I'm afraid I really love it :/ - if we go out, I tend to have steak. And I just think it's too early to change DD's diet, I want her to have a range of tastes.

However, arguing against it makes me sound awful, I WANT THE BABY TO EAT FLESH sort of thing.

Anyone bringing up vegetarian kids?? I'm not sure what to do

Well, if he's happy to do all cooking etc then he can crack on 👍

Lots of very young children are voluntarily vegetarian because they dislike the texture of meat so it’s not unusual for either the child’s presence of the parents’.

Well he can do all the cooking then, can't he?!

Has he done the research into how to balance a baby's diet properly? It can't just be that you eliminate meat, he has to know what he's doing.

I’ve always said my kids can choose for themselves once they understand where meat comes from. Until then you have to make a choice for them either way. We chose to not feed them meat due to ethical considerations and the fact that I wasn’t prepared to cook it. They don’t seem to feel like they’re missing out and my 5 year old now seems horrified that some people eat animals, although I’ve reiterated that some people choose to and she can too if she wants.

@Horehound

Well he can do all the cooking then, can't he?!

Has he said he won’t?

She says they mostly eat veggie at home anyway.

Toddler DD is vegetarian as am I, DH eats meat occasionally.

Millions of people around the world are vegetarian, including babies and children, I’m sure you know that OP? What’s the problem with it?

Having a veggie child doesn’t stop you eating steak in restaurants.

I don't think there's anything at all wrong bringing up a child as vegetarian. But I say that if the parents are vegetarian, which you're not. Therefore there's nothing wrong with your child eating what you eat, either way. I think it would be odd for meat eating parents to deliberately raise a vegetarian child tbh. I say this as a vegetarian.

I would be careful about a child being vegetarian and ensuring they get the full range of nutrition they need. Not saying it is impossible to do that and be vegetarian just that it is difficult.

My sisters are twins. One had several years of being vegetarian in her teens, she is significantly shorter than her meat eating twin (who was the weedier twin at birth). For a baby to be vegetarian I would want to really, really sure they got a full range if nutrients.

Why should his viewpoint trump yours? Presumably your child has been eating a mixture of food since 6 months so why the sudden need to limit that to strictly vegetarian food only?

I would not be at all impressed with him thinking he had the sole right to make such a large decision.

All 11 of my dc were raised vegi until secondary school when they decided for themselves. Dd's eat chicken and ds stayed vegi (younger ones).. Older ones with exh lived on mcdonald's but ate vegi with me. Now adult and eat whatever! Older ones respect that I made that decision for them and hold me no grudge!

When he says 'we should think about asking the nursery' does that mean he wants you to do it?

i think its a reasonable request. Its only vegetarian, not vegan. Hardly a pain at all

I believe it should be the childs choice when they're old enough to make that decision.

This is a perfect excuse for you to move the work of shopping, meal planning and cooking on to him.

I

I'm vegetarian, and chose to feed my DC meat as they grew up. One was so faddy that her diet was restricted enough as it was.

Funnily enough though, 2 out of 3 have become vegetarian like me since becoming young adults.

So you're not vegetarian but he wants your child to be? That makes no sense. Unless he IS vegetarian and you're not? If that's the case, then yes, I could see an argument for DD being vegetarian but he'd have to take responsibility for ensuring that when you're eating meat, he is sorting DD out.

Having said that, most families I know where one person is vegetarian the children eat meat with the non-vegetarian parent although lots of their main food is vegetarian when eating as a family, and they all have the option as they grow up to choose to go 100% vegetarian. That seems the most sensible to me.

Mass-produced meat is not generally great quality food. At DC school it was all pies, nuggets, sausages etc, reformed and fairly grim (despite the menu always trying to say otherwise - chicken gougons was clearly frozen nuggets etc). The veggie options were healthier and better quality, so you may be better choosing those anyway. Then I'd leave it to DC to decide what they want when they're old enough.

We had this discussion. DH is vegetarian, and before DD was born we didn't eat meat at home - I would occasionally have a lazy fishfinger meal, or order a pizza with meat, but anything we cooked was veggie.

I was in two minds about what we'd do with her, our initial plan was that we'd keep eating veggie at home but in her grandparents, friends house or childcare she could eat what she wanted until she was old enough to choose.

In the end it turned out she had an egg and dairy allergy and there was no way I wanted her to be vegan as I think its way too restrictive so we started preparing her meat at home, though not a lot....then she ended up under a haematology department (not related to this) and it became clear she was quite anaemic. When we went through her ridiculously well balanced diet, the consultant said: look she's loads of protein there but its almost impossible to get the iron they need at that age without eating red meat. She made us give her red meat three times a week, we batch cooked bolognese in toddler portions. I wouldn't have known otherwise, but I do think when they're less than three the more different kinds of foods you can get into them the better. I am v wary of restrictive diets for babies. We had the least picky toddler ever, who will eat almost everything, and still we've struggled because of her allergies to get all nutrients into her and realised that without meat getting sufficient iron would have been almost impossible.

I also think my DH is probably morally correct, so I do get the point about arguing for her to eat meat seeming wrong, but honestly I think at the age she is now its better to include meat if you can. And I think giving her a choice when she's older is the best way to do it - if DD announces at 3 she wants to be vegetarian, we'll let her, if she decides at 4 she wants to eat sausages at a party, we'll let her: basically its up to her to decide.

He wasn't making a decision on his own, he does want us to discuss it!

I do more of the cooking, but I work 3.5 days so have more time. We're also getting Hello Fresh atm which I LOVE.

I dunno, I do just feel it should be something DD decides herself.

DH and I are vegetarian and are raising our kids vegetarian. Just make sure you remember to have protein ( eggs, cheese, tofu, lentils, beans, nuts etc).

@Triffid1

So you're not vegetarian but he wants your child to be? That makes no sense. Unless he IS vegetarian and you're not? If that's the case, then yes, I could see an argument for DD being vegetarian but he'd have to take responsibility for ensuring that when you're eating meat, he is sorting DD out.

Having said that, most families I know where one person is vegetarian the children eat meat with the non-vegetarian parent although lots of their main food is vegetarian when eating as a family, and they all have the option as they grow up to choose to go 100% vegetarian. That seems the most sensible to me.

The second paragraph of your post is what I would like to happen. (DP is vegetarian, but also if he is served meat in someone else's home, he'll eat it. So I guess...part time veggie?)

I’d think your approach currently in a sensible - vegetarian at home, choice available elsewhere. Friends of mine raise their DC vegetarian at home as that’s what the family eats, but only the DH is strictly vegetarian when ‘out and about’ e.g. eating out in a cafe both DW and DC choose what they fancy with no restrictions.

A mainly vegetarian diet is best for all of us, but I’d be reluctant to restrict any meat at all so early in life. We’re designed to be omnivores. But a lot depends on the nursery provision - is it sausages/nuggets etc or is it really great food? Is the vegetarian provision a bit too pasta and sauce or beans on toast based etc.

@Popcornbetty

I believe it should be the childs choice when they're old enough to make that decision.

Why? As parents we make decisions on behalf of our kids every day. Why is this any different?

My boy is veggie, well actually pescatarian as he occasionally eats fish but otherwise he is veggie, never eaten meat and he is a big strong beast of a boy :) he is 2 years 3 months
Its easy to be veggie these days, just get the protein in them

We are vegetarian and our child is too.

We are also of the opinion that it is something she should decide herself when she is old enough to, but you're always going to have to make that decision for them either way until they're old enough to understand.