Venturing out into the world again - and finding it a bit shit.

[LunaNorth]

Is it just me?

I went to a lovely market town yesterday. It was my first ‘bit of a drive out’ since things eased off a bit, so I was looking forward to it.

When I got there, it was nice, but totally choked with traffic. I know I was there in a car myself, so I’ve no right to moan. And it was a bit run down, and the shops were disappointing, and I just came away feeling meh.

I’m noticing this happening quite frequently lately. I get the urge to go somewhere, and when I do, it’s packed out, queues for everything, dirty, there’s no parking, drunk people are everywhere, etc etc, and I just end up wishing I’d stayed at home.

What’s happening to me? I used to love being out and about, and was never a misery guts. Have things changed for the worse? Is it a reaction to lockdown? Middle age?

The thought of just hanging out at home depresses and delights me in equal measure. Help.

Oh I'm exactly the same OP. Always been an outdoorsy person but am sick of everywhere being rammed with no social distancing and not a mask in sight. Completely takes all the joy out of the day.

It's half term and the sun is out. Of course outdoor places are going to be busy.
And as for "no social distancing or masks", walking past someone outside for a split second without a mask does not put you at a huge risk of catching covid 🙄

No social distancing or masks doesn’t bother me. It’s just the feeling of disappointment. I think I must have high expectations.

I take your point about the sun shining making it busy, but I can’t imagine being there in the rain making it any more pleasant.

Looks like it’s just me then. I maybe need to lower my expectations.

Same here but it’s to be expected - it’s half-term and people can’t go abroad on hols so of course places are going to be packed. It’s going to be like this all summer.

I know how you feel, it’s probably because you’ve been so used to staying in during the last 18 months with the pandemic. Now when you do venture out it is a bit meh.

I think a lot of us have become so accustomed to staying indoors and finding contentment in it and as a result we aren’t getting that excitement from outdoors life.

It’s a strange one. I worry that if I just stay in my local area I’ll become insular and old before my time.

But then I go out and feel like a nitpicking grumpy old woman!

I need to meditate more, I think...

I think a lot of the people who are out and about at the moment would normally be abroad on holiday.

You may have realised you didn't really like the hustle and bustle?
I've had a few lockdown revelations.

@TheQueef I think you might be right. I’m a natural introvert, but I have the nagging doubt that I ‘should’ be out and about.

So I go, and it’s rubbish. At least lockdown took away the FOMO.

now we know that this country actually IS overcrowded, although I don't think there's a lot we can do. Given that the population was 55 million when I was growing up and is now 70 million, it should be obvious.

add to that the acceptance of skanky behaviour (noise, littering) and staying at home does get ever more attractive.

This is one of the reasons we're looking to move to Australia, far lower population density

I think that’s just how it is at the moment, I haven’t been out a lot because of it. The shops have probably still got quite a lot of old stock, so nothing new to see, my friend who works in a supermarket clothing department says they are literally just getting replacements of the same items in.

I think we have also lost the habit of shopping as a leisure activity, my friends all feel now that there is no point going unless you actually need something and clothes seem a bit pointless unless there is somewhere to go to wear them. We are now on the second round of events like live music and theatre that were cancelled last year being cancelled again, so there seems no point booking anything else.

Quite a number of things just aren't worth the effort yet.
Especially if you don't have little ones and aren't forced.

Forget FOMO and decide what's worth it for you.

The carousel stopped turning and we were all forced to get off it for a year.

Turns out we actually don’t need to travel around to random towns to spend far too much money in cafes while poking about in carbon copies of shops we have at home anyway.

I’ve always thought there are generally way too many people, too close together. 2020 just cemented that.

@delilahbucket

It's half term and the sun is out. Of course outdoor places are going to be busy. And as for "no social distancing or masks", walking past someone outside for a split second without a mask does not put you at a huge risk of catching covid 🙄

Well looking at stuff happening outside of the UK, here in Melbourne we have another lockdown due to the Kappa (Indian) variant where they are seeing people testing positive to Covid with only very brief contact with another positive case.

Yes I agree, a lot of places (understandably) appear to have just been left during lockdown and now the restrictions/lack of staff/lack of money seem to mean that everything is just looking a bit old, tired and in need of a good freshen up. A lot of shops still seem to have slightly weird stock in them and everything is just a bit off.

It'll get better in time as long as we remain open and functioning but I agree that it's a bit strange out there just now.

@Worriesome

I know how you feel, it’s probably because you’ve been so used to staying in during the last 18 months with the pandemic. Now when you do venture out it is a bit meh.

I think a lot of us have become so accustomed to staying indoors and finding contentment in it and as a result we aren’t getting that excitement from outdoors life.

This is so true for me. My city centre looked scruffy, dirty and just awful really, when I ventured in after a long gap. Never noticed it pre pandemic.

I'm not going anywhere 'nice' this year at all - waiting til next year when hopefully things are more normal, no masks etc; I'm actually content at home, as long as the neighbours aren't being ultra noisy!

I know what you mean, nothing feels fulfilling even though we've been looking forward to it for a long time.

Just feels a bit 'meh'

Anti climax maybe? I'm hoping the joy will come back in time.

We went to an open garden, took a picnic lunch, hardly saw a soul, beautiful day, views, peace, birdsong.

Went back to volunteer job that got cut off by covid. Most enjoyable.

I haven't seen/encountered any crowds or drunks for a very long time . Have no ventured back to supermarket ( choosing very quiet times; no queues, no crowds, only half a dozen customers)

@LunaNorth

It’s a strange one. I worry that if I just stay in my local area I’ll become insular and old before my time.

But then I go out and feel like a nitpicking grumpy old woman!

I need to meditate more, I think...

Ok. Stop with the ageism. Getting older does not mean getting grumpy or insular.

I know what you mean, op. I feel the same, it's hard to articulate. I was so excited to go out again and I've had some highlights ( meals, seaside visits) and they've been lovely, but it still feels like something's missing. Maybe it will just take a while to feel normal. Or I may just need to find my new normal. For that reason, I'm leaving my job Friday, I've cancelled my gym membership and as soon as I can, I am off !

I can see that sounded ageist. Apologies.

For me, I find the empty shops in our town where businesses have gone under rather sad. The opening of yet another coffee shop or ‘tat’ shop taking their place. The stock in the shops is now new season, people may start buying now it’s warm.

The lack of spontaneity is gone though, you have to book tables in restaurants and pubs for timed slots.

I get you, OP. This is partly why I am waiting - I don't want to be disappointed, and I don't want the hassle of too many people in close proximity. I am looking forward to wandering around other cities, going to galleries and bookshops and pubs again, but I'm happy to wait for more real normality to set in.