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Original poster

How old were your children when they started walking to school alone?

87 replies

OceanVibes · 01/06/2021 13:56

I have a 8 and 10 year old child who are both desperate to walk to school alone.
I received a form from the school about permission to release them and I didn't allow permission because I'm in two minds about whether or not I should allow them to.
The school is just under a 4 minute walk away from our home, I have left them home alone to go shopping and they are very sensible children.
We have spoken about stranger danger and I have reiterated that when they do walk alone they must walk together and come straight home.
I have anxiety and the thought of not knowing if they made it okay is filling me with dread but they are seeing their friends walk home and keep pestering me about trusting them.
I'd like to hear of others in this position and what you would do please.

OP posts:
hilarymantlepiece · 01/06/2021 20:28

11 but we were literally right across the road.

custardbear · 01/06/2021 20:29

My DD was 12 nearly when she started senior sxhool - but we live in a large town on the edge of a city so it's busy

My 9 Year old yr 4 - no chance

Most parents do the same in my school, rare for children even in year 6
To walk home alone unless they're really close

tentosix · 02/06/2021 09:15

Too young for me

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Families
custardbear · 02/06/2021 16:31

@RaraRachael

5 - kids here all walk to school - some on their own, some with friends. I always find the school run and school gate mums comments amusing as they're not really a thing here. devastated I missed out on all that fun Grin
5 years old 😱 - don't you worry?!
ZZTopGuitarSolo · 02/06/2021 16:39

Ours started at elementary school, so 2nd grade, so 7. Totally normal here (small town US). Lots cycle at that age too.

Before that the school was further away so they took the bus age 5/6.

Pinchoftums · 02/06/2021 16:49

From year 3 so from 7 occasionally. Only about 10 minute walk. I did the busy road until midway of year 4. In quite a big city. My youngest is 10 and would probably die of shame if I walked with her now Grin

neroforte · 02/06/2021 16:54

i was 11 (about 6 years ago!), however i was homeschooled from year 3 until joining secondary school so my situation is different than most. my parents walked me for the first day and then i was left to it. i had to cross about 2 roads with not much traffic, and only lived about a 5 mins walk from the school.
when i would let my own child walk themselves would depend on their sensibility, distance and general safety of the area.

neroforte · 02/06/2021 16:55

forgot to mention that i didn't walk with friends until about 2 weeks in, when i became friends with the girl who lived in the same block of flats as me, as none of my other friends walked the same way.

Parker231 · 02/06/2021 16:56

ZZ - my nephews in Colorado got the school bus from Kindergarten - they couldn’t wait to go on the bus with their friends who were in first grade.

Mumof1andacat · 02/06/2021 16:58

I was 10. It was towards the end of year 5. Some time ago now! My son might start walking to school in year 6 but will continue in afterschool club until the end of yr 6. My nana said she was 5! Her mum walked her on the first day and that was that. There were lots of other kids walking in the village and she did have 2 older sisters walk to but they would of been no more than 10.

PivotPivotPivottt · 02/06/2021 17:02

8 and the exact same walk as yours.

ShonkyCat · 02/06/2021 17:27

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

SkodaKodiaq no, it isn't. Your assessment of risk isn't objective - you've just said you don't think you will ever let your child be independent. Failing to prepare your child for gradually increasing independence is neglect - failing to teach and allow independence is just keeping them alive but literally failing to bring them up and it's all about you - your anxiety and stress, your needs over those of the child.
Also in Germany and I would have also allowed my six-year-old to walk the whole way alone had it not been for one of the roads she had to cross. Most of the children walk alone or in small groups after the first term although sadly a significant minority are driven by their parents all the way to the school, thereby endangering the children who walk.

Laughing at the idea of all German parents being neglectful. Hmm

kowari · 02/06/2021 17:39

Our school was a 30 minute walk and I used to walk DS halfway from age 8, he was walking to the bus stop a street over and catching the school bus at 9 when he moved for year 5.

PaperMonster · 02/06/2021 17:41

At my daughter’s school, they can walk to/from school without an adult from year 5 - my daughter has been walking home from school in the days I’m at home. So she was nine when she started. Ten minute walk.

Lira91 · 02/06/2021 19:09

I guess it depends on the area you live in, I grew up in Kent and would often find myself walking home alone a lot from the age of 9. It was a half an hour walk for me at the time, my eldest sister went to the secondary school near my primary but would more often than not 'forget' to pick me up on the way Confused. There were a couple of main roads to cross and a few smaller ones but luckily I was a sensible kid, I like to think Grin and stuck to the traffic lights when I could.

BogRollBOGOF · 02/06/2021 19:59

I'm now signing permission for DS1 to walk home (y5, 10.5, 200m, one fairly quiet road with decent visibility to cross.) He's perfectly competent, but quite risk averse and needs encouraging. In 15m he could be getting school/ public buses.

The reality is that I'm generally coming out to meet him, but he can exit of his own accord.

He's not ready to deal with the tramsitions of getting himself in (ASD) and I have to be out at the same time, or earlier for DS2 (y3)

BogRollBOGOF · 02/06/2021 20:02

The problem in the UK is the lack of culture of children walking and no one wants to be the first to let their children do it.

I think my 8yo is capable for our particular route and with a culture of everyone doing it that would be fine. In the UK that's not seen as responsible though.

kowari · 02/06/2021 20:25

DS was in primary overseas and children were released from lines out of specific gates to parents waiting outside the gate or across the crossing or parked up in neighbouring streets. Children were delivered to waiting parent by an older buddy child in the first year, after that they were free to find their parent or walk home if that was the arrangement. If their parent was not there when expected they would return to a teacher.

museumum · 02/06/2021 20:27

I have anxiety and the thought of not knowing if they made it okay is filling me with dread
Would school not ring you if they didn’t turn up? Maybe check with them, I think our school would ring, especially children they know make their own way.

NoKnit · 02/06/2021 21:11

Age 7 for my oldest
Youngest will be 6

Also in Germany, totally not neglect. I used to walk to and from school myself at that age in the UK.

Honestly the parent never going to allow their child to walk to school alone, now that is neglect. You are raising a person unable to do things for themselves. What you going to do when your child turns 18 and can't go anywhere alone or catch a bus?

Knitwit101 · 02/06/2021 21:21

Ds is 8 and walks by himself. We started with me meeting him at the end of the school lane then half way so it was a gradual thing. Its only 5 minutes with one crossing at a green man.
But we're close to school, in a residential area, I'd say half of the kids his age walk alone so he's always got a gang to go with.
His older siblings were younger, they walked part of the way home probably aged 6.
I encourage independence, I think its a good thing. But I realise I'm a bit of an outlier here. Start small and work up. It's less scary that way.

RaraRachael · 02/06/2021 22:59

Worry about what? If there was anything to worry about 90% of the school wouldn't be doing it.

reluctantbrit · 03/06/2021 08:33

@NoKnit

Age 7 for my oldest Youngest will be 6

Also in Germany, totally not neglect. I used to walk to and from school myself at that age in the UK.

Honestly the parent never going to allow their child to walk to school alone, now that is neglect. You are raising a person unable to do things for themselves. What you going to do when your child turns 18 and can't go anywhere alone or catch a bus?

I am German but DD grew up here. I saw a huge difference in traffic awareness and independence when she was around 7 and we were on holiday in Germany compared to the daughter of friends.

Sure, we taught her how to cross roads etc but when the parents are always there she didn't need to make these decisions on her own, most of her friends had parents constantly shouting "don't cross the road without me", holding hands and making decisions for them.

Being protected seems far too natural for them.

We actively moved away from this. DD had to show us that she could make decsisions like crossing a road on her own, it was her call, not ours when it was safe. She (with the ok from her childminder) would walk herself to the Brownie meeting 10 houses down the road or walking to gymnastics on her own from a side road as it was impossible to park nearer the hall

It is our duty to protect our children but it is also our duty to teach them skills to be independent. Unless your child has to cross major roads or a country road with no pavement a normal walk to school is a safe walk.

Ijsbear · 03/06/2021 09:45

5 here, but I went as far as the only road he has to cross and it's literally one street with lots of other kids goig to school.

He really wanted to go alone, he's innately extremely independent, breastfeeding stopped the very second he could hold a bottle for himself.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme's post on independence is one of the most sensible and intelligent posts I've seen on Mumsnet in 8 years.

Of course I worried (still do a bit and he's 7 now) but I'd checked with school first and I don't think that in a safe environment it's good for a child to squash their independence.

Whyhello · 03/06/2021 10:51

My DC’s school is 1.6 miles away so I don’t let them walk home alone even though my eldest is year 6. He’ll be getting the bus home from secondary school and the bus stop is a 3 min walk from our house. I might mollycoddle them too much perhaps but 1.6 miles is too far imo, there’s a few roads and I just don’t think it’s safe. Most of their friends walk alone, especially in year 6 but they live closer to school than we do. I’m hoping my toddler gets in the school at the end of our road (we moved here 3 years ago and they had no availability for my older DC) and I’d probably let him walk home from year 4 onwards because it’s on our street.