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Original poster

Today I got to be the mum I always wanted to be

76 replies

Mylittlesandwich · 30/05/2021 14:52

Warning this will probably sound boastful and self-centred.

I always imagined myself as a specific type of mum. The reality was very different. I struggled to breastfeed and had terrible PND. Every day was survival mode. I didn't get to really start enjoying motherhood until DS turned 1. He's 18 months now.

Today however we went out for a mooch around the shops. I popped on my new (second hand) toddler back carrier which DS seemed to quite like. We stopped and had sushi which DS loves. I then popped him back into his carrier and he was so comfy he fell asleep. I caught sight of myself in a shop mirror and I just looked so happy and content. Like how I imagined I would feel. A couple of people commented that DS looked very comfy and the whole experience has just made me feel great.

Did anyone else have a moment when everything just seemed to click for them?

OP posts:
WirKindervomBahnhofZoo · 30/05/2021 16:09

Fantastic post - and I can guarantee there will be many more days like this.

FionnulaTheCooler · 30/05/2021 16:09

I remember a day like that when DD was a toddler and we had gone into a local seaside town for a daytime wander, I won her a stuffed rabbit on one of the grabber machines in an amusement arcade, and she was so happy. We went for chips in a sea front cafe and it was one of the first times we were able to sit and chat and have a conversation that made sense, in a toddler logic way. It was an almost perfect day and I'm clinging to the memory of it as I deal with a now hormonal pre teen Grin.

Nsmum14 · 30/05/2021 16:17

Lovely post OP! Here's to all the everyday enjoyable moments yet to come. Agree, not boastful in the slightest!

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BelladonnaKebab · 30/05/2021 16:22

❤ I love everything about this post OP!

Opalfeet · 30/05/2021 16:31

Awwww that's lovely. It's the simple things x

CoraPirbright · 30/05/2021 16:46

Aah that sounds super and not at all boastful. Wishing you many, many days like that in the future Flowers

blaisealex · 30/05/2021 16:48

I'm so happy for you and that sounds so lovely! I had a similar thing, it took medication and therapy before I could start enjoying being a Mum to my DS but now I love it so much. We went to the beach today and built sand castles together. ❤

diamondpony80 · 30/05/2021 17:10

Parenting is hard and not always what we imagined. Posts like this are encouraging!

allofthecheese · 30/05/2021 17:17

This is really lovely! I've had a tough time with DS but since hes hit 1 I can see the clouds parting and it's finally getting better so I can relate to this. Hope you have many more happy days to come Thanks

coodawoodashooda · 30/05/2021 17:18

Yay!!!

Ickythefirebobby · 30/05/2021 17:19

@Serialcatmum

This post made me happy ❤️❤️❤️
Me too. Being a parent is a hard slog with only intermittent rewards, as wonderful as it is. I love it when someone has had a lovely easy day, it keeps you going through the tough ones.
ComDummings · 30/05/2021 17:21

How lovely! As someone who also suffered from PND I do remember some of these moments, it feels like you’re coming out of the fog in a way. There’s always hard days but these moments are beautiful and make everything so worthwhile.

Definately · 30/05/2021 17:21

First time I took DS to Tesco when he was 2 and a bit and we just walked round and bought some stuff. No lying on the floor tantrums, no running off down the aisles. He just walked round with me and we did our shopping. I was like oh my god it really
does get easier Grin

Nualay · 30/05/2021 17:24

That's so wonderful to read OP! Back carrying is so lovely Smile

OrchidLass · 30/05/2021 17:32

Love this OP. I had a moment when DS was about the same age. I was in the park with him just toddling around. He found a flower and sat looking at it for ages and I just had an overwhelming feeling when I was watching him that he was the best thing that had ever happened to me. The sleepless nights, the feeling that I had no idea what I was doing and the always feeling like I wasn't quite getting it right all just faded and I felt like no, I wasn't the perfect mum but I was doing just fine.

Beebopawhop · 30/05/2021 17:33

That is amazing well done you x

motogogo · 30/05/2021 17:36

Luckily for me it clicked quite early, around 6 weeks - breastfeeding had been hard until then but it just clicked. I found the being a mum bit far easier than my stressful job beforehand

Original poster
Mylittlesandwich · 30/05/2021 17:57

So many lovely posts. Thanks everyone. It's lovely to see so many other people who had a moment/day too. I've said to DH a few times that I wasn't a newborn person. I know lots of people like that they sleep a lot and stay where you put them but for me the toddler stage is much better. You can get some interaction and see their wee personalities. Some wee tantrums have started to peek in and I know we still have a long way to go but I'm actually enjoying it now. Not every singe second obviously but overall.

OP posts:
Parkandride · 30/05/2021 18:02

This is lovely, good for you OP!

PyjamaFan · 30/05/2021 18:05

That's so lovely!!

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 30/05/2021 18:39

oh that's so lovely!
make sure you hold that image in your head on rough days.

I have many great moments like that: all the hugs & kisses, great days, good chats, trusting my instinct and getting it right when they are ill or there are problems, doing stuff they really appreciate, me not backing up from insisting they do their chores, celebrating achievements, people's compliments, having in-jokes and "that's our stuff" things and so on. And just feeling that I'm on top of things and doing well enough.
I like it when they tease me and make laugh. Beyond the shared sense of humour I love that they feel safe enough to get cheeky (because I know what it's like when you can't).
Like DS1 (19) the other day. He was helping me picking up younger ones and we were singing along to Aladdin soundtrack.
I said to him: "I love it that we can sing so many things together, Disney stuff, Guns'n'Roses, Queen, Kutless etc"
He replied: " That's because you brought me up right....musically"
🤣

YukoandHiro · 30/05/2021 18:42

It's not boasting at all, it's so lovely after a hard start when you have days that finally click and are filled with love and enjoyment rather than just getting trough the hours.

I really struggled with my first and 18 months was a real turning point for us.

So glad things are looking up for you ♥️

Chailatteplease · 30/05/2021 18:45

Lovely post OP! Happy for you Flowers

year5teacher · 30/05/2021 18:58

Cute!! I love that he looked so comfy people commented on it, he must have been living his best life! Flowers

GalaxyGirl24 · 30/05/2021 22:29

This is lovely , I'm glad you got to feel this way 💐

And yes, to answer your question I did get that feeling today. I've been putting off doing certain things as i feel awful about the way I look. Was making excuses today with family and DH, who were playing in the pool with baby DD (who was having an amazing time) and thought to myself, I'm not going to be in any of her pictures if I don't just get on with it, so went in. In the photos, I don't look half as bad as I thought, not as good as I want mind you. But she looks radiant, and so so happy to be playing with me and DH together. Usually it's DH who does the fun lovely stuff as I'm too self conscious to!

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