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Original poster

Violent child in Reception class.

35 replies

jumpingjackbeans · 30/05/2021 12:02

Hello,

More experienced parents advice needed please!

My eldest is in Reception. Full disclosure he has SEN and receives 1-1 support under an EHCP. His 1-1 is not 'on top' of him constantly because we're trying to allow independence but is available at all times. He generally functions very well at school to the point other parents don't realise he has SEN (different story at home!).

Since September I have had to speak to the class teacher seven times about incidences where DS has been punched, kicked, scratched, pushed over etc by the same child. I am not the only parent, this has happened to several children and one (not mine) has gone from loving school to frequently refusing to go.

Tiny class (tiny school) and very well staffed. Ratio in Reception is 1 adult to 5 children.

School say - to all parents who have spoken to them - that they're working with the child and parents. Parents are very vocal (on parents WhatsApp group) about how strong willed and 'spirited' their child is. There is no suggestion of SEN (although I know that means nothing at this age and it could well be a factor) parents have openly said their child is fine and school make a fuss about what is normal reception age behaviour.

I appreciate a bit of rough and tumble at reception age is going to happen but surely, going into 'proper' school next year this can't be allowed to continue? School have outlined to us how different Year 1 is from Reception and how the days will be much more sitting and learning than play-based learning. Violent child's parents have again been vocal (to other parents) that their child won't be sitting at a desk all day having missed 'so much' early years education because of COVID and the school need to realise this.

I have explained that the teacher that I do not expect my child to be hit in school, that I find repeated incidences unacceptable and asked what they are going to do to stop this from happening to my child again (I've had this conversation several times). Teacher just says that they do their best and keep a close eye but they can't always get there in time to stop things and that as an inclusive school they can't keep the violent child away from others, it's not fair and how will she learn?

I suspect that more incidences will follow after half term. Do I need to get more formal if it does? Complaint to HT?

Thanks!

OP posts:
colouringcrayons · 30/05/2021 12:07

I would have made s formal complaint the second time.

Yes email the head with 'formal complaint' as the subject, state your child is not being protected in school and ask for them to tell you what they will do to ensure it doesn't happen again.

List every incident with dates and detail. Your child is being badly letdown by the school.

MrsAudreyAlfredRobertsOBEHmm · 30/05/2021 12:09

They have a duty of care to keep children safe
I'd make a fuss

CuriousaboutSamphire · 30/05/2021 12:12

Ask them in writing. Recap whatever you remember having been told, using any sentence that stood out to you at the time:

You say it would not be fair on child x and how would she learn if she were kept away from some other children. How is it fair that my child is being physically hurt, what is he learning about school?

And where is his 121 support that child x has managed to hurt him X number of times?

I cannot agree with you that my child is some sort of collateral damage in this. What will you do to ensure he is not hurt by child x again?

Original poster
jumpingjackbeans · 30/05/2021 12:13

See every time I speak to the teacher she kind of makes me feel like I'm making a fuss about something they can't really do much about except for giving the other child 'thinking time' until she learns not to.

DS tells me almost daily that said child has had thinking time for one thing or another.

I'm glad people don't think I'm making a fuss over nothing.

I said about duty of care. She said they have a duty of care to all of the children to do the best for all of them, and it is not best for the child to be isolated for the others. I didn't ask for her to be isolated, but I do ask that they ensure my child isn't being walloped and upset every other week!

OP posts:
colouringcrayons · 30/05/2021 12:16

@jumpingjackbeans

See every time I speak to the teacher she kind of makes me feel like I'm making a fuss about something they can't really do much about except for giving the other child 'thinking time' until she learns not to.

DS tells me almost daily that said child has had thinking time for one thing or another.

I'm glad people don't think I'm making a fuss over nothing.

I said about duty of care. She said they have a duty of care to all of the children to do the best for all of them, and it is not best for the child to be isolated for the others. I didn't ask for her to be isolated, but I do ask that they ensure my child isn't being walloped and upset every other week!

You have to go to the head.

You are NOT making a fuss. Your child is being hurt.

The class teacher is clearly not doing their job.

Viviennemary · 30/05/2021 12:16

Not good enough. Every child is entitled to a safe envoronment at school. Id report it to the Local Education Authority. Make a big fuss. Its the only way.

colouringcrayons · 30/05/2021 12:17

Always put things in writing is my top advice btw, they can't fob you off then.

MustardRose · 30/05/2021 12:17

She said they have a duty of care to all of the children to do the best for all of them, and it is not best for the child to be isolated for the others.

They have a duty of care towards all the children to ensure that they are kept safe from harm and are not assaulted by another child while they are at school. They are failing in that duty.

The needs of this particular child do not trump the needs of the others.

Soontobe60 · 30/05/2021 12:20

I think all your other parent friends who have a child that has been hit by this violent child should get a petition up to have the child removed from the school. That way they’ll be in a perfect little bubble of perfect little children and never have to mix with such thugs.

Original poster
jumpingjackbeans · 30/05/2021 12:21

@Soontobe60

I think all your other parent friends who have a child that has been hit by this violent child should get a petition up to have the child removed from the school. That way they’ll be in a perfect little bubble of perfect little children and never have to mix with such thugs.
Helpful. What would you do then, oh wise one?
OP posts:
eddiemairswife · 30/05/2021 12:24

Put it in writing to the head and the governors. Once the governors are formally told it will be put on the next meeting's agenda.

InkieNecro · 30/05/2021 12:27

Send an email from all of the parents whose child has been hurt. Say that every single one of you has been let down and you are all making individual formal complaints as the school are failing their safeguarding duties and each of you will be reporting every single incident to ofsted.

endofthelinefinally · 30/05/2021 12:27

This is a safeguarding issue. You need to write to the HT and copy to the safeguarding lead. If this is the same person ( the HT), you need to state in your letter that you are writing to them in both capacities.
Depending on the school's safeguarding and anti bullying policies (both should be on their website, read them carefully and quote in your letter) you can further escalate to the governers and the local authority.

colouringcrayons · 30/05/2021 12:31

@InkieNecro

Send an email from all of the parents whose child has been hurt. Say that every single one of you has been let down and you are all making individual formal complaints as the school are failing their safeguarding duties and each of you will be reporting every single incident to ofsted.
Don't do this, this is going to look very bad to the HT.
bluebird3 · 30/05/2021 12:32

As someone who has worked in a school, with and without children with SEN I sympathise with the school but this is still not acceptable.

The child needs an individual plan so that they can access school without harming others. It may be that they are sensory overwhelmed and lash out and need quiet times throughout the day to decompress. If the school doesn't have staffing to support them 1:1 they need to get them on an EHCP and get funding allocated.

Original poster
jumpingjackbeans · 30/05/2021 12:39

@InkieNecro

Send an email from all of the parents whose child has been hurt. Say that every single one of you has been let down and you are all making individual formal complaints as the school are failing their safeguarding duties and each of you will be reporting every single incident to ofsted.
We can't do that (and I wouldn't anyway). We sign up to a parents agreement when we joined the school a point of which is that we don't discuss any child but our own with any other parents. Any issues are to be discussed with school only.

Obviously in reality this doesn't happen - it is hard when your friends child is screaming in the car park and after drop off she tells you why and is upset that she's had to peel her child off of her to send her in, (because she's terrified of this other child) to turn around and say 'oh sorry I can't discuss that with you!'

I do t doubt the school know this, but we'd all be in trouble if they were told that some parents have discussed this issues that their own child is having with one other particular child.

OP posts:
Original poster
jumpingjackbeans · 30/05/2021 12:42

@bluebird3

As someone who has worked in a school, with and without children with SEN I sympathise with the school but this is still not acceptable.

The child needs an individual plan so that they can access school without harming others. It may be that they are sensory overwhelmed and lash out and need quiet times throughout the day to decompress. If the school doesn't have staffing to support them 1:1 they need to get them on an EHCP and get funding allocated.

I completely agree. If this child has additional needs then she needs support not punishment or discipline (or she needs tailored and appropriate discipline, rather).

Unfortunately the parents are not receptive to any suggestion of SEN, and they may well be right, she could 'just' have behavioural issues. Who knows I am certainly not qualified to make that judgement.

As a mother of a child with SEN and an EHCP myself I do fully understand that some children cannot help their behaviour. But just sitting them on a chair every time they thump someone is not they way to deal with it, IMO.

OP posts:
Popetthetreehugger · 30/05/2021 12:42

Would not give a stuff how it looks to HT ! Not sure I’d put it in writing, but I’d definitely tell other parents that your pushing ahead with this . From comments from VC parents , they think it’s fine .... believe me they wouldn’t if there DC was on receiving end ! Protect your child , he’s not a lesson for this child to learn on . Good luck , keep going ... I’d ask when the level of violence becomes assault?

DarcyLewis · 30/05/2021 12:46

Formal complaint to the Head.

DO NOT mention the other child. Your complaint is not about the other child, it is regarding your child.

List every incident where your child was hurt. Ask why your child is not being kept safe in school. Highlight that your child is entitled to 1:1 support in their EHCP and ask why your child was not being safeguarded during these incidents.
Ask what the school is putting in place to keep your child safe from now on.

HollowTalk · 30/05/2021 12:47

Doesn't anyone respond to the parents on the WA group? I'd find it hard not to.

dangermouseisace · 30/05/2021 12:50

If the child had diagnosed special needs, you can bet your boots violent behaviour towards others would not be tolerated.

Definitely go to the HT. If you continue to get no joy I’d go to the governors too.

Nocutenamesleft · 30/05/2021 12:57

We had this EXACT situation. Tiny village school. Reception year. Violent child. Very vocal parents.

What eventually started to happen was this child had 1-1 teaching. But this still didn’t stop the child’s behaviour. He threw a chair at a little girl and it hit her so hard on the temple she was knocked out and sent to hospital. It got really bad. I took my child out because I couldn’t bare to think what was happening. Because all the accidents that kept happening were when they turned around. Or what not. So no child was ever safe.

We tried everything. Speaking to the Ht. we tried OFSTED. But nothing worked. So that was that.

newnortherner111 · 30/05/2021 13:05

Make a formal complaint to the school.

I wonder if you have concrete evidence that the parents are refusing any discussion about whether or not their child has SEN that if this fails, it should be a matter to report to local social services. Not for the sake of your child, but for theirs.

toocold54 · 30/05/2021 13:08

Is this happening during class or during break?
The issue is that if it’s break the teachers and TAs aren’t always on the playground or same area so miss a lot of what your DC will be telling you.

somersault · 30/05/2021 13:10

@DarcyLewis

Formal complaint to the Head.

DO NOT mention the other child. Your complaint is not about the other child, it is regarding your child.

List every incident where your child was hurt. Ask why your child is not being kept safe in school. Highlight that your child is entitled to 1:1 support in their EHCP and ask why your child was not being safeguarded during these incidents.
Ask what the school is putting in place to keep your child safe from now on.

This, and in writing