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Original poster

How do you deal with your child being bullied?

40 replies

ImaHogg · 28/05/2021 17:14

My 13 year old daughter has come home (from the school bus and on quite a few occasions) soaking wet. Several boys from her year (and they are from the village we live in) have thrown their drinks bottles over her. I’ve reported it to the year head, she says she has dealt with it yet it still goes on.
Today she came home absolutely sobbing. One of the boys had smeared yogurt all over her and then his sandwich. It was in her hair and over her blazer. All this whilst the others egged him on laughing.
I have again reported it to the school (and this time included photos) but I don’t hold up much hope this will stop.
My daughter is now scared and says she doesn’t want me to do anything about it as these boys are all part of a bigger group at school and she fears she will get picked on by the girls from the group.
I have asked the bus company to move her over to the one other bus which travels from our village but it was full when I asked in March so am still expecting a no from them. Failing that I will have to take and collect her myself.
I am just so very upset for her, she doesn’t deserve this, she is such a sweet, gentle girl.
And I really am currently having to stop myself from going out in the village looking for these little shits (but I know I can’t and I won’t) but I am so very angry, what can I do? I want it to stop now and to stop it escalating into more bullying behaviour.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 28/05/2021 17:18

School need to deal with it. Ideally these kids shouldn’t be allowed to travel on the bus if they spend the journey bullying another student.

Chocolatepeanuts · 28/05/2021 17:29

I agree, if another member of the public was smearing yougurt and assaulting a school kid they would be banned from the bus and the police would possibly be involved. Why should these little shits get away with it?? Your poor daughter. Is it a school bus or public transport?

PyjamaFan · 28/05/2021 17:30

Police.

That has to be assault surely?

Plus tell school and the bus company.

babyt2020 · 28/05/2021 17:31

I would hunt them down and go to their house, fuck that. I HATE bullies 😡

Mintjulia · 28/05/2021 17:32

That's criminal assault. Go to the boys parents and make it crystal clear that you have witnesses and unless it stops immediately you will press criminal charges.

Copy in the school, make it clear that there is still a problem.

Original poster
ImaHogg · 28/05/2021 17:32

My friend mentioned the police and I hadn’t thought of it but am seriously considering giving them a call.
The bus is a school bus. I have emailed the bus company, again.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 28/05/2021 17:33

Sorry but don’t approach the parents. If they have raised kids who think this sort of behaviour is completely fine and even funny they are unlikely to be reasonable.

Original poster
ImaHogg · 28/05/2021 17:34

babyt2020 I am having to stop myself from marching round the village right now, I am shaking with rage.

OP posts:
Original poster
ImaHogg · 28/05/2021 17:35

Wolfiefan I think this is the case. These kids have been getting into trouble around the village since year 6 and still it goes on!

OP posts:
Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 28/05/2021 17:36

Honestly?! Happened twice. I threatened the bully and the mother. Never happened again.

Soontobe60 · 28/05/2021 17:37

Does the bus have CCTV?

MissKeithsNeice · 28/05/2021 17:37

Keep pushing for the bus change. Be relentless. Show them the photos.

Keep pushing with school. Its OK to say that your daughter is worried about further fall out if you ger involved. School should be able to handle this in a way which doesn't put a spotlight on your daughter.

PiratePenguin · 28/05/2021 17:39

My daughter (year 8) has been bullied mercilessly this year and the only thing that has made a difference is when I emailed quoting from the well-being policy, bullying policy and quoted statement from the Head’s statement (all on the school website). I basically held a mirror up and asked them what part of their policy accepted the behaviour that my daughter was experiencing. It worked and lots was done for her.

bumpdownthestairs · 28/05/2021 17:44

I don't have any practical advice other than what has already been suggested but I am so, so sorry your daughter is going through this and your post made me feel so sad for the poor girl. I hope you manage to get some help stopping this appaling behaviour the people that do these things are absolute cretins!

Original poster
ImaHogg · 28/05/2021 17:46

Soontobe60 I believe so, the year head has said she will request it.
MissKeithsNeice I won’t let it drop, it’s happened too many times now.
PiratePenguin thanks, I’ll go look at their policy.

OP posts:
Original poster
ImaHogg · 28/05/2021 17:47

bumpdownthestairs thank you. I feel so sad for her, she said they were all heckling him and laughing at her. It broke my heart.

OP posts:
stayathomer · 28/05/2021 17:52

No help op but I was listening to a man speak on anti bullying and he said never ever either talk about it on eg Facebook and never approach parents, partially because in a lot of cases they will turn the complaint on you, partially because the school are supposed to deal with it all. Flowers for you and your daughter

mrsbitaly · 28/05/2021 17:53

I went through this for so long. I was constantly spat on and drinks flung at me and my hair pulled. It's a bloody awful situation to be in as when it got reported it just got worse as I was then called a grass. I'm not saying your not doing the right thing but I do understand how your daughter is feeling. Does she have the option to leave a bit earlier to get an earlier bus? If she does I would put this to the school as they clearly cannot manage the situation. Alternatively I would really push for this other bus I would be very concerned if they cannot honour the place given the circumstances.

Original poster
ImaHogg · 28/05/2021 18:06

stayathomer that’s true. Tbh, I nearly took to our local FB spotted group but thought the same.
mrsbitaly I am so sorry you went through this. My mum is 78 and was bullied at school and she still talks about it today! I will be taking her from now on until the bus company can get her a place on the other bus. I will hound them until they do!

OP posts:
Chasanddive · 28/05/2021 18:21

Police would be my first call. That’s ridiculous, they have got away with this for so long. I’d also be tempted to smear them all over social media, name and shame them.

Onetraumaatatimeplease · 28/05/2021 18:28

Is this a public bus? If it is can you get on incognito. Just watch what they are doing, I'd film it. Send it to the school and make it crystal clear that if they don't do something to stop it it will go on social media, so the entire village can see what their pupils are really like.
Fucking little shits. All schools are the same, they all talk the anti bullying talk. But they don't seem to be able to walk the walk.
In my sons high school the teachers had lost control completely, some appeared actively scared of the older children.

Onetraumaatatimeplease · 28/05/2021 18:29

Sorry, just seen it's a school bus. It will have cctv. I'd demand it.

Cyranosbestie · 28/05/2021 18:33

So sorry to hear this. If all else fails, you could approach the local paper? Nothing like a bit of shaming and risk of bad reputation to get results?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 28/05/2021 18:33

Honestly I would find out where they lived and go to their door and threatened the parents. Ime schools generally do fuck all and I would be reporting to the bus company that their bus driver is allowing a young girl to be assaulted on his bus.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 28/05/2021 18:34

Or her bus

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