Thinking of starting a playgroup for knackered mums/parents/carers - would this work do you think?

[inthekitchensink]

I’m in the early stages of researching setting up a playgroup for preschoolers at the local hall, where adults can come and get shit done on their phones, or read or whatever with tea/coffee/biscuits - while I play with the children.

All the playgroups I went to with my toddler encouraged parental interaction and really all I wanted was somewhere I could get admin done for an hour or read mumsnet while my child had quality play & learning.

I’m a montessori practitioner with a few spare hours a week and really miss working with kids, but don’t want to do it full time. I would provide montessori materials to play with, arts and crafts, story time.

Would you be interested in something like this or am I just projecting? !

Oh yeah I don't think anyone would be able to get any work done, just have some time off from entertaining the kids for a bit.

For the people saying it sounds just like your local stay and play, lucky you! Great you have this already! A lot of us don’t though. At the playgroups I went to the assumption was that all parents needed to join in and be fully involved at all times. At the children’s centre I went to the staff would actively tell us to go play with our children instead of chatting to other mums, no phones were allowed, and there was nowhere to sit other than the floor surrounded by toys and noisy children. So I would absolutely pay to go to what the OP is planning.

The thing that would potentially put me off is £5 an hour is a lot if you are essentially still looking after the child. round here for example there’s lots of mums and tots groups which are just a donation for refreshments. It would prob work well if you have lots of compliant/placid children Thst can manage in a group but as soon as you get a few thst need that extra bit of attention it’s going to mean some mums stepping in as there wouldn’t be the ratios and if that’s the case I don’t think people would pay the £5

OP you sound wonderful. Have you thought about asking the existing stay and play church group if you could collaborate, and put on an extra session called 'Time for Tea' or something like that. Basically duplicate the existing set up but sell it to the existing organisers that this is aimed at tired/busy parents who would like their children to enjoy the wonderful play group that the church is brilliant at providing, but no expectations that the parents need to get stuck in. They can relax whilst you have it covered.

Stay and play- join in
Time for tea- sit back and rebuild your energy

I would definitely come to something like this.

How funny, I've never been to a playgroup where you are badgered to interact with your child! And I went to some in really deprived areas where you'd think that would have been a thing. Maybe there was a song time at the end or something. IME it's the paid activities where you were expected to really get in with them and involved.

I wouldn't market it as anything other than a normal stay and play, but I would just make it really hands off for the parents. Nobody brought work or reading books to the ones I went to but there was a good amount of staring into space with a hot cup of tea or just chatting.

I would not have been able to afford to pay £5 per hour.

I went to a baby group at a church (free, part of their community outreach) that was just couches, tea, coffee and cake. It was mostly inescapable (one set of very heavy doors), completely childproof, filled with toys, and the most sanity-saving experience of the early years of my babies. The kids just roamed free and there were enough parents that anyone stepped in to help if necessary.

I sat. With hot drinks and cake. I still miss it now the babies are 9 and 10. I went every week no matter how tired I was because it was so wonderful that getting there on the bus was worth it. I cried masses when we moved away from it.

This is such an alien idea to me because there's no way my DD would have just played without me if I was there. She would just have bothered me and got upset if I sat on my phone.

R.e the parents not being able to chat if everyone’s on phones or emails etc; I think that’s the point? That there is NO expectation of that.

Some people don’t want to chat to other mums at baby groups so might stop them going to one all together.

When I went to baby groups I couldn’t care less about making “mummy friends” I wanted the little ones interactions and different toys for the baby for a little.

I would have gone to this even just to see what it was like!

*little while

I would have nominated you for a sainthood if this was a thing when mine were playgroup age. Could you make a napping area for the parents too? 😅

Sounds great OP.

I went to a few stay and play where you could largely leave the children to play while you chatted and have a cuppa, apart from group singing at the end. They were much better than the children's centre you must play WITH your child. When that's exactly what you'd been doing all the rest of the time and needed a break and some adult interaction.

If parents are expected to stay in the room I wouldn't pay £5, what I'd pay for at that age is drop off for 2 hours, £12/15 maybe?

A few questions op:

What ages would you choose?
What about those with SN?
Would you change nappies etc?
What if kids wouldn't leave their parents alone, would you attempt to distract them?
What if you had a very loud child that screamed so much no one could relax?
Would you hire staff?

I think this is a great idea in theory, but as others have said, it does depend on the type of child you have... When she was about 2 or 3 years old, I used to take DD to a coffee morning, which was frequented by quite a lot of childminders. There was a small table with water/squash/biscuits for the children to sit separately from the adults and a carpeted area with toys.

Most of the other kids got on with it, leaving the adults to chat amongst themselves. Not my DD. If she wasn't climbing onto my lap, she was tugging at my hand, dragging me to the toy area. I very rarely got to have a proper conversation or cup of tea in peace, and used to leave feeling pretty rubbish and that I'd somehow 'failed' by not being able to separate from my daughter.

With hindsight, I realise that it was perhaps because most of the other kids were there with childminders, and not their parents, meant it was easier for them to entertain themselves.

I guess a key difference to what you're describing here is that at this coffee morning, there was no adult specifically there to keep the kids entertained. Maybe it would have worked better for us if there had been.

Sounds amazing, I’d love something like this in my local area.

I think the idea is great especially there being no expectation of the mums/parents interacting. I get very socially anxious and feel awkward. I went along a few times to my local toddler group and it was a mix of interacting with your child and them playing alone with you supervising of course. Often a few of the mums had organised a bigger craft session or they’d have a person in to do an active session. It was good and my children really needed it as no real interaction with other children (except in playparks etc). For me however I hated it. I felt my own interactions with my toddlers were being judged constantly. I didn’t know what to say to the other mums yet if I did sit alone on phone (keeping eye on children) I felt I was being stared at and judged for being a loner. I often left feeling really down and depressed. If it was set up as “have some alone time” and I didn’t have to interact with other mums I’d have went religious and really benefited from it. Sorry I know I’m probably an outlier as most seem to crave that interaction with other mums but for me I just wanted my children to benefit from playing with other children and for my sleep deprived self to be left alone to sit in peace.

The cons I can see with this are that from age three most areas have playgroups and pre schools which are usually cheaper per hour than £5 and give you a morning of childcare / often using the 15 hours, so you would mainly be targeting one and two year olds who as others have said would often still be wanting interaction with their parents ...I don't see how it would not end up being very similar to a normal toddler group in that respect- a lot of toddlers are very clingy still especially if in sight of mum or dad. Also as a parent you would still actually have to be there? So it wouldn't be helping massively childcare wise? How would it differ from something like tumble tots?
I think the parents that would want this would surely just pay for a childminder or not playgroup ?
I went to toddler groups as much for myself to have an activity and chat to other parents - if I needed to do something on a computer or whatever I'd have r just out CBeebies for an hour
Sorry that's quite negative but I'm just not sure who this would be marketed at ?

Sorry to add that the idea of someone like yourself “taking charge” of the play really appeals too because those were often my most awkward moments. I stressed about when to go see to my child and if other mums thought I was being a helicopter parent and what to do in certain situations like toy sharing etc. Even the activities some set up although lovely stressed me as it was never clear what was to be done (eg I remember one time helping my child do finger painting that was set up only for the parent who’d organised it to pointedly announce that it should be done “this” way and not like how me and my child were doing it and I felt awful). If there was someone to take control that would be welcomed and I’d be happy to jump in and assist my child as and when but to leave them to it with the leader.

I think the OP’s idea could possibly work better for parents of clingy children, kind of a step up from the church hall chuck the toys in the middle with someone actively encouraging dc to explore things by themselves within range of their parent.

I have one child that would have gone off and happily played and one child that clung to me like a limpet. The reality is that it was the limpet child I needed a break away from and this set-up would not have worked. however adept OP is at peeling off children, limpet child would come back again. If your child will happily go off and play on their own then you can get a break by taking them to a playground/soft play/random toddler group, and there isn't a need for something like this.

This is a great idea.

Holyrood Parliament has a crèche such as this. Kids play and parent has to stay on the premises and gets on and works etc. So it's clearly possible.

Do it!

Wow so many responses, thank you so much. I LOVE the idea of branding Stay And Don’t Play or The Mums Antisocial.

But I can see plenty of good points about how the main point of giving parents a break isn’t a given. So I’m thinking small classes similar to creation station with arts & crafts and lots of montessori stuff? I can encourage parents to sit back & I can try to entice little Jemima to come do an activity with me.
More focused than a playgroup, less expectation of a child free sanctuary to relax in. With cake

@UserAtRandom

I have one child that would have gone off and happily played and one child that clung to me like a limpet. The reality is that it was the limpet child I needed a break away from and this set-up would not have worked. however adept OP is at peeling off children, limpet child would come back again. If your child will happily go off and play on their own then you can get a break by taking them to a playground/soft play/random toddler group, and there isn't a need for something like this.

Maybe I could call it the Limpet Child