Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Breastfeeding is clearly not best for my baby and I just need to say it

35 replies

gotmilkgetsome · 26/05/2021 22:15

My baby is nearly 10 months old. She’s allergic to so much a reacts through my milk all. The. Time.

I cut out so much and hope she gets better then something else affects her and it’s unmanageable. I think as breastmilk is ever changing and minute traces of things I eat get into it and I can’t fully control it.

If she reacts we then have days where her already limited for her age solid intake is further affected.

EVERYONE keeps telling me ‘keep feeding your milk will reduce inflammation’ and ‘it will heal her gut’ but it’s not it’s what’s causing the issue surely the benefits don’t outweigh the negative here.
Plus it’s like I’m not a factor at all and I can keep on cutting out more and more and more. I can’t. I’m hungry.

Of all the multiple allergies she is gone with soya and I’ve got a tin of milk and said to my hv I’m transitioning over. Then I get the soya lecture based on outdated information and just further guilt. I give up.
I know my milk isn’t suiting her it’s obvious and clear to me and my milk causing her pain, discomfort, wind etc and when she has a bottle it’s plain and heavier/thicker and always the exact same and she seems comfortable and I want her to feel well but I have this emotional blackmail almost from everyone that bf still has benefits and will help when it’s the cause

OP posts:
WingingItEveryDay7 · 26/05/2021 22:21

You need to stop listening to the guilt trip speak people are feeding you and do what's best for you and your baby!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula, fed is best!! Clearly you need to eat more too!! How is weaning going? Have you noticed reactions after any particular foods? If you haven't already it could be worth investigating allergy tests to narrow things down x

MamaWeasel · 26/05/2021 22:22

Trust yourself 🙂

chickenyhead · 26/05/2021 22:23

You are brave to say that on here!

Do what is right for both of you x

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

9-12 months old Antenatal & postnatal Babies & sleep Breast & bottle feeding
TopTabby · 26/05/2021 22:24

You've done amazingly well to breastfeed for 10 months. If you think she's happier on the bottle then don't let anybody guilt trip you. You're important too & you know what's best for your baby.

elliejjtiny · 26/05/2021 22:24

I completely understand OP. My son is 13 now so this is a long time ago but he really struggled to breastfeed. He had really low muscle tone and couldn't suck properly and it was just a complete nightmare with breastfeeding counsellors telling me to keep going with breastfeeding and dieticians telling me to give formula and me in the middle not sure what to do. Looking back I should have stopped breastfeeding him long before I did. Sometimes breastfeeding isn't best for babies.

westendgirl780 · 26/05/2021 22:25

That sounds so hard. I could not have done what you have, you are amazing!! when I thought my baby possibly had CMPA I knew if it came to it I would give up the feeding rather than the dairy! It must have been such a stressful time. Do what you feel is best now, for both you and baby. You matter too and you sound near the end of your tether.

Original poster
gotmilkgetsome · 26/05/2021 22:25

Weaning is going badly and I think it would go better if her stomach was settled from the exact same milk daily

I just feel so down with it all the constant ‘keep feeding’ being told it’ll help and be healing to her gut but it’s causing the issues

So far things causing reactions are cows milk , goats milk, eggs, beef, carrots, and if I have lots of salad and veg, coffee or when I’ve had antibiotics. Seems to be suffering bad reflux too after feeds from me and not from formula at all those stay down beautifully and she’s settled after

OP posts:
Dandelion89 · 26/05/2021 22:27

Well done for breastfeeding this long, especially with cutting out different foods too. You absolutely need to do what is best for you and your baby, it's nobody's place to guilt you into continuing.

My little girl has multiple allergies and I managed 1 year before stopping, she wasn't fussed about feeding from me and I was finding it very hard to find things to eat. She had formula until her 2nd birthday and was perfectly happy and healthy.

mayblossominapril · 26/05/2021 22:27

If she’s reacting to a wide range of foods you need a hospital referral and she will probably have to have blood tests and diet advice.
How’s the weaning going?
I’m bf my second baby and it’s my second time of being dairy soya free. Thankfully not egg free this time.

Missmonkeypenny · 26/05/2021 22:27

Hugs OP, allergies babies are hard, hard work and it's an awful feeling knowing something you've eaten has caused a reaction. My son is 17 months, still BF now, allergic to both dairy and soya. If he hadn't been a complete bottle refuser, I'd probably have thrown the towel in and said enough was enough too Flowers

Original poster
gotmilkgetsome · 26/05/2021 22:28

@chickenyhead

You are brave to say that on here!

Do what is right for both of you x

I think probably for the majority the benefits are there but not for us not at all

I’m not knocking bf i know it’s good but it’s making my little girl unwell and she’s more settled the times she’s had dairy free milk

OP posts:
Missmonkeypenny · 26/05/2021 22:29

For what it's worth, 70% of babies with CMPA will also react to soya due to the proteins being so similar so that might be worth bearing in mind re formula. I know you can get soya free formula on prescription from you GP

Original poster
gotmilkgetsome · 26/05/2021 22:29

@mayblossominapril

If she’s reacting to a wide range of foods you need a hospital referral and she will probably have to have blood tests and diet advice. How’s the weaning going? I’m bf my second baby and it’s my second time of being dairy soya free. Thankfully not egg free this time.
We are waiting for the appt the gp has diagnosed cmpa and other ‘non ige’ allergies from symptoms but we are waiting for an appt for the allergy tests
OP posts:
amiahoarder · 26/05/2021 22:29

What formula does she have, if she is allergic to cow's milk is it a prescription one ?

mayblossominapril · 26/05/2021 22:30

I’ve just read you update def push for a referral
My first was allergic to carrots. Gave him dreadful belly ache, no one believed me.
Your HV can refer you to the dieticians where you will get some excellent advice and help for your dd. They will also advise on formula

amiahoarder · 26/05/2021 22:31

cross posted

Original poster
gotmilkgetsome · 26/05/2021 22:31

@Missmonkeypenny

For what it's worth, 70% of babies with CMPA will also react to soya due to the proteins being so similar so that might be worth bearing in mind re formula. I know you can get soya free formula on prescription from you GP
I was concerned about it but she seems fine and I’m so hoping it stays that way 🤞 I got a tin out of desperation to try a bottle each day to see what happened and she’s been really good with it I honestly think it’s because it’s filling her and soothing her not giving her a stomachache 😞
OP posts:
Original poster
gotmilkgetsome · 26/05/2021 22:33

@amiahoarder

What formula does she have, if she is allergic to cow's milk is it a prescription one ?
No we were prescribed pepti but that made her very sick, then we were prescribed neocate and she would barely drink any and it made her reflux terrible so i bought goats formula which was awful for her she even got a rash and then tried soya formula which has been absolutely fine so far
OP posts:
partyatthepalace · 26/05/2021 22:34

Lots of babies are formula fed for all manner of reasons, it’s fine to choose that for yourself. Do get a referral though, sounds like a bit of advice would be good. But if you want to stop BF - just do it.

SuziQuatrosFatNan · 26/05/2021 22:37

It's true that breast milk is better for gut health in the long run and it's relevant to note given that the response isn't ige mediated but with multiple triggers and reflux you really need some specialist advice. How long till your appointment? Is there any way you could pay for at least one private consultation or use a workplace referral scheme eg through benenden or similar?

Original poster
gotmilkgetsome · 26/05/2021 22:37

I am selfishly also hungry , fed up of checking ingredients all the time and then even if I do she can end up reacting anyway so I’m on edge about it

OP posts:
Pinkblueberry · 26/05/2021 22:38

This is awful to read - who is everyone??? I’m sorry people in your life are being so unsupportive. You don’t need anyone’s approval to stop breastfeeding - even without all the allergy issues it would be perfectly fine to stop whenever you felt was right for you.

Original poster
gotmilkgetsome · 26/05/2021 22:39

@SuziQuatrosFatNan

It's true that breast milk is better for gut health in the long run and it's relevant to note given that the response isn't ige mediated but with multiple triggers and reflux you really need some specialist advice. How long till your appointment? Is there any way you could pay for at least one private consultation or use a workplace referral scheme eg through benenden or similar?
Appt is end of June so not too long to wait, the gp has tried to help as much as possible and I had a phone appt with a dietician
OP posts:
Cleverpolly3 · 26/05/2021 22:41

You need as other PP’s have said a referral to undertake proper rigorous dietary elimination and reaction etc regardless of whether you breastfeed or not. This will continue to be an issue beyond infancy. You have, however, done so well into the circumstances to get to ten months that is a labour of love and real hard work.

Have you read this ?
www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/cows-milk-protein-allergy-cmpa-and-breastfeeding/

BraveBraveMouse · 26/05/2021 22:43

10 months is an amazing achievement with the problems you have had. I would not judge you for stopping and I say that as someone who still BFs a 2 year old! I think BF is such hard work that it can almost be like a religion for some people and they will not accept any negatives.