Breastfeeding is clearly not best for my baby and I just need to say it

[gotmilkgetsome]

My baby is nearly 10 months old. She’s allergic to so much a reacts through my milk all. The. Time.

I cut out so much and hope she gets better then something else affects her and it’s unmanageable. I think as breastmilk is ever changing and minute traces of things I eat get into it and I can’t fully control it.

If she reacts we then have days where her already limited for her age solid intake is further affected.

EVERYONE keeps telling me ‘keep feeding your milk will reduce inflammation’ and ‘it will heal her gut’ but it’s not it’s what’s causing the issue surely the benefits don’t outweigh the negative here.
Plus it’s like I’m not a factor at all and I can keep on cutting out more and more and more. I can’t. I’m hungry.

Of all the multiple allergies she is gone with soya and I’ve got a tin of milk and said to my hv I’m transitioning over. Then I get the soya lecture based on outdated information and just further guilt. I give up.
I know my milk isn’t suiting her it’s obvious and clear to me and my milk causing her pain, discomfort, wind etc and when she has a bottle it’s plain and heavier/thicker and always the exact same and she seems comfortable and I want her to feel well but I have this emotional blackmail almost from everyone that bf still has benefits and will help when it’s the cause

@Pinkblueberry

This is awful to read - who is everyone??? I’m sorry people in your life are being so unsupportive. You don’t need anyone’s approval to stop breastfeeding - even without all the allergy issues it would be perfectly fine to stop whenever you felt was right for you.

One gp I saw and the HV I had posted on bf groups too and they are all v pro feeding through all problems which i do appreciate it probably does help in some cases

Breastfeeding was horrific for my first, absolutely not the best thing for him at all. Once he was on neocate thickened with carobel, he was a different baby.

Second DC was exclusively breastfed til 6 weeks, so fussy, screaming, crying, silent reflux. Introduced formula for a few days to do a formula challenge and he was so much more settled (wanted to see if he reacted as DS1 has CMPA and soya allergy, and I’m cow milk free).

Just taken eggs out my diet as at my wits end, and voila - a different baby! Will happily continue mixed feeding.

You’ve done amazing to feed for 10 months - you’ve sacrificed more than enough, stop feeding if you want to, and well done

OP

Without giving the boring details, my youngest thrived as soon as i went on to formula. This was at 3 month ish.

I felt bad for about a week. (Mostly for myself tb brutally honest, because i loved the image of earth mother breast feeding away for months!)

She was happier, i was happier, yet still we got the 'oh how sad you've given up' head tilt from the health visitor

Trust your own judgment now OP.

Yes breastfeeding does have amazing benefits and you've perservered for 10mths, that's good going. If your dd is settling on the soya milk and seems comfortable I'd be tempted to swop. You could express to maintain a breastmilk supply. The guilt of stopping breastfeeding can be quite hard, I fed my 1st dd to 17mths and felt bad for stopping. But it all was fine, in fact I enjoyed getting rid of the feeding bras!!

Why not Combi feed? There’s an excellent book by Lucy ruddle called mixed up and talks all about it.
Might take the pressure off if you have eaten something she reacts to, but might be a safety net if the formula doesn’t suit for some reason. Is soya formula a full food for baby? I’d be very wary of loosing your milk supply incase it all goes wrong. I relactated for my allergy baby (had opposite experience and my son is so much happier on my milk now I’m allergen free)

I’d also get some really seriously good lactation support because poor latch can have lots of similar symptoms as allergies

Oh blimey another month then. Only you know if you can cope for that long and it sounds like you're at the end of your rope as most of us would be.

You've honestly done an amazing job but it sounds like you've been kind of left with this: if your baby is reacting to multiple substances the answer isn't to cut out each and every one of them one by one from a nursing mother's diet but to properly look into what's going on.

That isn't happening here and won't be for another four weeks and in the interim you've got to get through it and you've found something that works in terms of your baby being able to feed and you being able to eat.

Cutting out cow's milk from your own diet in order to resolve CMPA is one thing but what is being asked of you here is of a different order entirely.

Combi feeding would work I think only if I knew exactly what I had to avoid and it’s seems like so much already. It’s feels like one step forward two back if she has a bottle and then then next free from me then she reacts to my milk and it’s not great
I feel in all honesty that she needs the same thing every feed and to be settled then I can hopefully increase her actual food as currently she’s not having a big variety at all and small quantities as the only things she is 100% ok with are oats, soya formula, sweet potato, potato, chicken, banana and cucumber

Sounds like you are doing a great job Op. You've managed to continue to BF for 10 months through all those allergies etc which is such an achievement & has no doubt helped you narrow down some of the allergies and what she is reacting too. You'll also be better at knowing what to look out for on ingredients packets and knowing how to help her on a restricted diet.
Don't let others give you a hard time about choosing what's best for your family, they haven't walked your shoes and have no idea what it's like to look after a baby with allergies. Even more than that, don't give yourself a hard time either!

I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate, but would absolutely stop immediately in your position. She's 10 months, you've done really well. Give yourselves a break and stick to what is making her happy and comfortable. Do not feel guilty. Fed is best. Happy mum and baby is best.
As PP said, get a proper diagnosis though as this will help with weaning and ensure she's on the right milk and dairy substitutes moving forward. You may have to be very pushy.

Omg please swap to formula! I remember almost getting PND from the struggle in the first couple of weeks as my milk didn't ever really come in and I literally tried everything. I could literally feel myself slipping into PND so swapped that day and wow, HAPPY BABY! And my hormones shot right back like Marty McFly in that scene where he almost fades from the photo while playing the guitar badly, then bounces back.

Food allergies are horrific and will damage your baby's gut so you have to stop immediately. I have them now and they are so miserable so I can't imagine how they'd make a baby feel. You are her mum, you know better than anyone else, do what's good for her and shut down any comments.

I know that the pressure to breastfeed can strangle the life out of you when you can't for whatever reason - I remember it well - it can be awful but please ignore it. My kiddo is so strong & healthy and was from the first day we gave formula (in fact the difference in him was huge after we swapped!).