When did you learn that life wasn't fair?

[zenithfreedom]

They say it's something that's better to learn sooner rather than later. I was never under the impression that life was fair but I learned how really unfair it was when I went on a secondary school trip with a few classmates to India.

One of them grew up in a lower middle class area and constantly complained about their parents never having enough money. Well when we arrived, it was a total shock to all of us. The amount of poverty there (homeless people, dirt, badly paved roads) was shocking. Nothing like one would see in Europe. That girl proclaimed after the trip that it had given her some perspective and she wouldn't be far more grateful.

Having an older brother...probably aged three.

Having a younger brother - any time from 20 months.

Coming home from school , aged 9, found Mum packing. When I asked her what was the story, she said we were moving to the other side of the world because Dad had a new job. That was when I realised how little my own wishes and desires meant in the scheme of things. Life isn't fair !

In reception. I was the teacher's pet, not wanted on my part, and I recognised how awful she was to a handful of the other children. She had it out for them from the start. I really, really disliked that woman.

When I asked not to have a sibling and got one anyway.

I guess four when I was told by my teachers I was the Devils child as I'd not been baptised and was left handed to boot (being left handed was stopped by wacking my hand with me a plastic ruler and being hit with a PE shoe by the head if I refused to pack it in). It was CofE and we'd go to services weekly at least and I was forced to stand at the back facing the wall, everytime I went in (me and another girl who also wasn't baptised) the teachers would make a comment about being struck by lightening..

The kids were fine, which I always found odd. Looking back they were probably terrified the teachers were right!

being screamed at by my father when i'd been upset when my mother left me at nursery. age 3. it's my first memory.

soon after again whenever i heard a bang or clap assuming my older sister was being beaten by my father.

Early on (aged about 8); we watched Newsround every day so saw age appropriate coverage of famines and natural disasters in other countries.

It truly sunk in when I was around 20 and was working with the loveliest person whose life had been so cruelly unfair with a murder, illness and other awful events in the family. I'd lived a charmed existense up to that point and remember the horror and anger that life had been so unfair to my lovely colleague.

In the simplest sense, being told off for something I hadn’t done when very young

In my current job, watching devisive unpleasant people arse licking their way to the top of the pile, while hardworking team members get shat on.

I think it was when I repeatedly achieved amazing results at primary school which were never recognised. I never got the "head teachers" award in assembly for my excellent work but the more popular kids regularly did for their poorer standard work. After a while I stopped putting the effort in, whats the point in struggling if it doesn't get you anywhere?

Probably during my first year at school, when you could have a big currant bun for an (old) penny with your milk, or a half bun for a ha’penny.

I was so envious of the kids who had them, but was aware from a very young age that money was always very tight, so I didn’t even ask.

Honestly, it was 9/11. I was 6. Someone deliberately flying planes into buildings and murdering thousands of people taught me a lesson about what kind of world we live in.

As a child I was kept alive by the minimum of care. That’s about the best I can say about my childhood. I’d look at other kids with their normal families and wonder what I’d done to deserve my life. I felt that way for a long time. So I think the proper realisation that life just isn’t fair came later. Until then I always thought there must be some “reason” why I was living the life I was.

I can now look back and think ok my childhood was shit. But I was born in the UK. In later years there were opportunities and resources to help me move on and make a life for myself. I watched a documentary a while back on children living in slums across the world and there is no way out for them. That is their whole life. Horrible things may happen to us on an individual level in this county and yes we have issues, like the homeless and people needing food banks etc. But we are lucky to be born here.

That’s the main reason I don’t believe in any religion. Tell a child who’s starving to death, or being sold to disgusting men (usually from the west) at young ages, that it’s “Gods plan”. It’s not. Life has no higher meaning, it’s not fair. We just have to get through it the best we can.

I had three siblings. There were no obvious favourites but from time to time one of us would complain about something not being fair. 'Life's not fair' was my parents' usual response.

At primary school I wasn't particularly aware of money. I remember a girl being bullied because she was often smelly. When someone asked her why, she replied that she didn't have a bath at home. That was a real eye-opener.

At the other end of the spectrum, I also remember going round to someone's house after primary school and marvelling at her huge house and grounds, swimming pool and colour television (it was the 1960s).

When I found out the girl who made my life hell at school now runs her own business and lives in a huge house in Canada

Having painful hospital treatment as a 4 year old. I don't remember everything but remember how scared I was, especially as in those days parents didn't stay on the ward overnight.

Realising as a very young child that I was treated differently to my older sister both at home and by my paternal grandparents. I love my dsis to bits but it still pisses me off that I was a good kid but was always wrong if I disagreed with my sister.

Having an older brother who had behavioural problems which took all my parents’ attention and being totally overlooked. I really feel for all the sidelined siblings of ADHD and ADD kids.

Was being adopted by a foster family when social services decided to give my drug addict mom another chance. I had no say in it. Ripped straight out of a stable family and back into chaos.

I hope things have seriously changed nowadays

When I was 4 and had the part of a fairy in the school Christmas play. My costume had a beautifuly floaty white skirt with sequins on. The other fairies didn't have sequins on theirs. On the day of the play one of the others got there first and told the parent helper that the sequinney dress was hers. When I arrived she was prancing around in it looking well chuffed. I told the helpers that that was my dress but they didn't care and said I had to wear the other one. I was absolutely devasted and the unfairness of it has stayed with me all my life.

I've always "known". We were very poor when I was young and had a tough time of it in many ways. However, it was infertility that changed me forever. I didn't even know until then how much I just assumed things would work out somehow, but its totally unfixable.

My cousin who has cerebral pailsy was always the favourite one six years older than me he could knock the shit out out of me, I was always in the wrong.