Tonight I have been hit by a huge wave of nostalgia and longing to go back to my childhood

[StealthPolarBear]

Does anyone else get this?

I don't find myself being nostalgic for when DDs were small though. It was much harder then, and I much prefer my life at the age they are now (16 and 12).

Yes when I'm having a bad day I long to go back to being a child

Gosh this thread is making me cry. I am mid-50s and find myself increasingly longing to go back to my childhood or teens, even 20s. I suppose having a happy childhood obviously helps but thinking back to school days we had so many options and choices, the world was our oyster. My best friend died 10 years ago of cancer and I miss her dreadfully so all my memories of her are of course stuck in that time warp and there can never be any more recent ones to replace them. Both of my parents have died (my mum last Summer) and several friends parents are also passing away so every time I hear of another death it releases a tsunami of memories, most of which also relate to my teens as I now live in another country and have done for years so haven't seen many of these people for ages.

I yearn to go back to when my daughter lived me and I was her whole world. We were together all the time and had such a bond. Nothing bad happened but at 16 she treats me with contempt and has no feelings toward me . I see other Mums and daughters who are so close and don’t know what i did wrong. Wish I could go back to those days ..

My childhood was a mixed bag - my parents weren't great and were rubbish with money so I remember from about age 4 constantly being aware of that stress.

However, I loved my home town and my primary school and wish I could give my DS a similar upbringing but without the bad bits. I grew up just outside Oxford and it's truly a magical place to be a child. I was a College Child so so much nostalgia about playing on the laws and in the quads and the fellows gardens while being half watched by DPhil students. Walking by the Rad Cam and being able to smell the books at the Bodleian as you went by. When I was a bit older, endless days lounging in the parks, and punting to the pub to buy chips. And of course, the enduring magic of a Christmas in Oxford or the true bonkersness of May Morning and the May Day celebrations. I always think of it as being a bit otherworldly.

Because of COVID I haven't even been able to take toddler DS back to visit (I live abroad now), and it breaks my heart. I also need to go back sometimes to remind myself of the rubbish parts - expensive, damp, rubbish public transport and frequently overrun with tourists.

@Imperialheaven

I yearn to go back to when my daughter lived me and I was her whole world. We were together all the time and had such a bond. Nothing bad happened but at 16 she treats me with contempt and has no feelings toward me . I see other Mums and daughters who are so close and don’t know what i did wrong. Wish I could go back to those days ..

Oh imperial 😢** I read on here all the time that this gets better, you come out the other side & have that closeness again.

That is dedicated! I don't remember anyhhing like that I was a deep thinking child. Lots of thinking, worrying, dreaming, remembering. I was happy but I wouldn't say carefree. When I got to 17/18 it felt like I'd been waiting to be that age all my life and things clicked into place. My late teens and twenties were fantastic.

I get this too

I get this when it’s a quiet, sunny and breezy day, and I hear a plane go past.

When my DC were very little it triggered a nostalgia in me for when I was that age. I think it’s the way that children live in the moment and very small things can be significant for them ... it took me back to that mindset which is more mindful, being present in the moment, unlike the distracted lives we lead as adults.

Now they are bigger I too wish they were little again...

@Imperialheaven

I yearn to go back to when my daughter lived me and I was her whole world. We were together all the time and had such a bond. Nothing bad happened but at 16 she treats me with contempt and has no feelings toward me . I see other Mums and daughters who are so close and don’t know what i did wrong. Wish I could go back to those days ..

It does get better. When you are going through it with your own dc it looks like everyone is having a better time, but I promise you there are plenty of us finding it hard. The teenagers board on here is really helpful. The best advice I've read on here is 'don't take it personally' and 'keep busy'. It's important for our teens see us happy and enjoying life and not hanging around bereft at not being needed.

My childhood was emotional and physically abusive so no, I wouldn’t want to go back. On a positive note though, I’ve learnt how not to parent.

Yes! I was watching one of the Top of The Pops from the 80s the other day and I had to switch it off as I was getting sad! I was a teenager in the 80s and it was such an exciting and fun time....

I think I feel like this as I am begrudgingly edging ever closer to 50 and keep reflecting on my life and events in the past. I am happy with my life but oh to go back to those carefree younger years!

This is all part of your well being if they are good memories. A part of recreation (recreating your equilibrium).
I know it sounds like bollocks but it's true.
I have a leisure management degree
I do this so much and also ancestral healing, it's very powerful stuff, without realising at the time.

@Imperialheaven

My dd is 17, just 6 months ago she was efusing to come home, hated us, no apparent reason.
Now, we are as close as we were when she was a little girl.
I don't know a parent who hasn't had similar with their dd's.
Yet, 2 ds and nothing like the heartache I've had from dd.
I still don't trust we are completely out of the woods, but she astounds me daily, the change in her.

Sorry to derail @imperialheaven.

Somebody showed me this and it really helped.

filterfreeparents.com/the-letter-your-teenager-wishes-he-could-write-you/

@newnortherner111

I'm not nostalgic for childhood or other earlier parts of my life, but I often have dreams that feature people from then. Never seem to dream about anyone I have not known for at least ten years.

Yes!! I dream about childhood friends regularly, at least weekly. I find it really strange because I’m not in touch with them anymore and don’t even think about them. So odd.

@unfortunateevents

Gosh this thread is making me cry. I am mid-50s and find myself increasingly longing to go back to my childhood or teens, even 20s. I suppose having a happy childhood obviously helps but thinking back to school days we had so many options and choices, the world was our oyster. My best friend died 10 years ago of cancer and I miss her dreadfully so all my memories of her are of course stuck in that time warp and there can never be any more recent ones to replace them. Both of my parents have died (my mum last Summer) and several friends parents are also passing away so every time I hear of another death it releases a tsunami of memories, most of which also relate to my teens as I now live in another country and have done for years so haven't seen many of these people for ages.

I'm so sorry x

I feel sad sometimes that i remember so little from when my dc were small, (late 20s now) i remember occasions and things, but not the day to day stuff, the things they said, how i felt. (I probably couldn't wait for them to grow up).

Devlesko it's definitely part of my wellbeing. I sometimes think the montessori my childminder took me to is my happy place. That or reading a book squashed behind my parents sofa.

So many songs take me back too, not ones I particularly like. There are some I seem to recognise as being from very young, maybe pre verbal. Pass the duchy is one. Not a 'beautiful' song in any way but makes me cry.

Yes, over the past year I've been reminiscing about my college days and the freedom, innocence and lack of responsibility I never realised I had at the time.

Strange things will trigger it like songs that I don't even particularly like. Stand By Me by Oasis which is on an advert at the moment set me off the other day. And stumbling upon an old episode of The Royle Family on Sky instantly took me straight back to those carefree days.

I'm mid 30s and have put it down to covid insecurity and uncertainty rather than growing old but it could be both.

I'm actually in a very comfortable position in my life and very happy with my DH but still slip into looking back to a more carefree time and feeling sad that those days have passed.

My teens I'd love to go back to. I was blossoming into being me and didn't appreciate it enough at the time. I had an absolute ball and I realise now how much I took for granted and how much formed who I am now. Certain songs and smells take me right back. I often think what a time to be alive. Childhood was spoiled by abuse, so was my early twenties. My teen years were amazing.

@ssd I think that’s one of the most beautiful things I have ever read on here, true maternal love in even the smallest of moments.

That doesn't stop. If I'm crossing a road with my mum she still puts her arm out to stop me running out into the traffic. I'm 41.

Its the small moments that count,isn't it? Give your mum and dad a hug from me stealth x