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Original poster

People who can't accept that you don't share the same interests.

57 replies

ApplesandAardvarks · 25/05/2021 19:56

Does anyone else have this issue?

I have a camping fanatic friend who has been trying for years to get me to go camping with her. I tried camping once. Never again. I hated every second of it.

I now have a friend who is obsessed with the gym, particularly lifting weights and even though I have nerve damage in both arms,and can lift very little, particularly without severe pain, she keeps going on about how good for you it is and how I should try it.

They're both otherwise lovely people and I don't think there's anything wrong with suggesting once or twice, as they might find a new hobby they love but why would you go on and on about it?

Does anyone else have someone who does this to them?

OP posts:

Original poster

ApplesandAardvarks · 25/05/2021 20:37

Weightlifting friend is more of an issue than camping friend now. Even if the latter hasn't fully accepted that I will never go camping.

OP posts:

JungleIsMassive · 25/05/2021 20:39

I think everyone has had this happen to them at some point in their life.
I wonder if I've ever done it to someone?! 😬

Original poster

ApplesandAardvarks · 25/05/2021 20:41

I wonder if I've ever done it to someone?! 😬

Now I'm curious to know what your particular interests are?

I'm happy to listen to them talk about camping or lifting weights btw. I just don't want to be pressured into doing those activities.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 25/05/2021 20:43

I agree that to some extent, we all talk about stuff that other people find immensely dull.

Are they trying to make you join in? It’s not clear from your post.

underneaththeash · 25/05/2021 20:44

How about dropping the weight on her foot? She may shut up then?

JungleIsMassive · 25/05/2021 20:47

@ApplesandAardvarks

I wonder if I've ever done it to someone?! 😬

Now I'm curious to know what your particular interests are?

I'm happy to listen to them talk about camping or lifting weights btw. I just don't want to be pressured into doing those activities.

Ummm... I'm not actually sure I have such a deep interest in anything at the moment that I'd willingly bore someone with!

But I do remember trying to persuade my friends to do contemporary dance! It literally meant the world to me and I just wanted everyone to have the same feeling! I was young though. So I'll excuse myself

Original poster

ApplesandAardvarks · 25/05/2021 20:48

That's quite sweet actually.

OP posts:

Original poster

ApplesandAardvarks · 25/05/2021 20:49

How about dropping the weight on her foot? She may shut up then?

If I could actually pick it up, I might consider it.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 25/05/2021 20:51

@ApplesandAardvarks

How about dropping the weight on her foot? She may shut up then?

If I could actually pick it up, I might consider it.

A few years ago, I actually broke my toe dropping a weight on my own foot. Best avoided!

ThursdayLastWeek · 25/05/2021 20:54

I have a group of friends who all like to camp.
I do not like to camp.

After one summer I had to tell one of those friends that I felt like she wasn’t listening to me, and it was starting to make me feel ignored and cross.

I get that she just wants to spend time with me, but I do resent being made to feel like party pooper repeatedly.

dudsville · 25/05/2021 20:57

Ugh, I had a friend who loved theatre and always wanted to book things for us to see. I hate the theatre. She never got it. I think she assumed that because of my degree and being well read I should naturally love it. I like Sci fi.

Susie477 · 25/05/2021 21:01

My parents are obsessed with going on bloody cruises.

They simply cannot get their heads round the idea that spending a fortnight feeling seasick on an overcrowded floating hotel with thousands of the wrong sort of tourists, being told where to sit and what to wear for dinner and being bussed around tourist trap ports like schoolchildren isn’t my idea of a holiday.

Original poster

ApplesandAardvarks · 25/05/2021 21:21

Are they trying to make you join in? It’s not clear from your post.

Yes, they're trying to get me to join in, and Weightlifting friend really won't take no for an answer right now.

OP posts:

tellmetologoffIamaMNaddict · 25/05/2021 21:51

People who demand my opinions about clothes despite the face I wear exactly (I mean exactly) the same clothes every day because I find buying and choosing clothes extremely challenging. Why would I want to help them make decisions about their clothes when I can't even make decisions about mine? And why do I have to love clothes and shopping just because I am a woman? i hate it!

Tlollj · 26/05/2021 05:05

I know what you mean. I had a colleague at work once kept trying to make me watch shit on tv. Everyone is watching it was the reason. Not even that she particularly liked it.

flinginflangin · 26/05/2021 09:09

I had a friend who kept trying to turn me onto dance music, which isn't to my taste at all. She even dragged me to Creamfields and insisted I'd love it. I didn't. I drew the line when she suggested we go to Ibiza 😂

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 26/05/2021 09:23

not really, because I shut it down.
as you said it's ok if they suggest it a few times.
I can muster patience probably for 2-3 repeats of being nagged once I said no.
but then I lose my patience and ask them to stop.

I'm happy to listen to their stories nevertheless as long as they don't try to manipulate me.

MIL for example loves gardening. I couldn't care less.
She used to try and engage me by listing lots of details but I just zoned out and eventually said that there's no point telling me because I can't follow or retain any of that. She eventually got it that an hour tour round a garden is torture for me.

now she stills tells me a bit about what pants she bought or how long it took to do whatever and yes, I do find that interesting to chat about her day. but there are no more horticultural monologues.
we have plenty of other topics to cover!

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 26/05/2021 09:24

plants

not pants🤣 although I do hear about pants on occasion

ShoutingBirb · 26/05/2021 09:30

Ugh, yes. I have two friends that are obsessed with CrossFit.

Elphame · 26/05/2021 09:31

Oh all the time.

I don't do what almost everyone else in the country does and people really don't get it.

If I had a £ for every time it's been said to me that "I know you don't do x but did you just...." I'd be able to buy a mansion in California!

Is it really so hard?

AmyDudley · 26/05/2021 10:09

I was once trapped on a train with 3 women I had just been on a course with. They spent the whole time trying to persuade me that I should love cooking because they all did. I'd already answered their question 'do you like cooking Amy?' with 'no I hate it, I find it a real chore' but for some reason they thought yakking at me about recipes and food and cooking programmes would change my mind. They also said to me 'what do you like then ?' and when I said 'gardening' they looked at me as if I had two heads.

I sympathise - pick a topic gym friend isn't interested in and bore right back at her when she starts banging on about weights, insist she needs to take up flower arranging or whatever or her life won't be complete.

Shoxfordian · 26/05/2021 10:41

It sounds like you need to be more blunt with her

No friend I will never go weightlifting with you
Can we talk about something else?

Acupofcamus · 26/05/2021 10:48

I went on a date with a vegan once who wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways because he kept ranting about how amazing veganism is, how he became a vegan, apps he uses to ensure he’s drinking vegan beer, vegan products he uses, why it’s so important to be vegan. I honestly couldn’t get one single word in, he was just rambling on about how amazing vegans are. Eventually he stopped and allowed me to inform him I already was a vegan so he’d spent about an hour preaching to the converted. He then wanted to talk about how amazing we both are for being vegans for the next hour and I just shut off, it was so boring. I wasn’t a vegan because I felt superior to others and wanted to lecture them, it was for health reasons more than anything.

Overall point is I dislike this too. They’ve found something that works for them and that they enjoy which is great but I’m not sure why they’re convinced everyone else wants to do the same thing.

Scarby9 · 26/05/2021 10:49

@Susie477
Yes - cruising!
I get sea sick instantly on anything on water - I was once sick on a lilo.
But one friend keeps telling me how much I would love it.
When I rais the sea sickness issue, he tells me the ships are so big there is no movement at alll. This is a man who broke his arm when turbulence on bord a cruise flung him across the bar.

Stillfunny · 26/05/2021 10:50

People are always trying to persuade me to stuff either them or go places because " It will be fun, it was a great night, you will love it. " So , I did go on a cruise, meet in a crowded pub , go shopping all day . And I was right, I don't like it and had a horrible time.
There is nothing wrong with any of it and I know I might be awkward , but I don't like to do these things. I have no problem with my friends doing it , so why can't they take my word for it that I KNOW I wont be happy.
Not a complete bore though as I usually go along and leave when I want to.
Oh dear , It is me , isnt it ?!

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