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Making the unfit kid who comes last run round the field again?

525 replies

Veuvelily · 24/05/2021 10:18

Can anyone tell me the logic here.
What is the games teacher trying to achieve?

The child has tried his best and feels like he’s being punished unfairly
Plus he’s then used up all his energy, so is tired for the actual games lesson

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 24/05/2021 15:52

I always thank the powers that be that my school never made us do cross country. It was voluntary, for those that wanted to do it.
I could never have managed it - I used to lie on my back wheezing after doing the 800m.
I played lacrosse, was in the school team, cycled everywhere, rowed, did all other forms of school PE - but running? Nah.

As a young adult, I did trampolining, cycled lots, continued rowing, did circuit training - but running to "warm up" would end up with me sitting on the floor with my ears ringing and my head feeling like it would burst.

I used to go so red I was almost purple if I ran. My heart rate would whack up, far too high. I was thin, I could do other things, I was not unfit - but I could not run (or do high impact aerobics). I went to the doctor - I was found to be fit. I had some air flow issues, but I was also a singer so had decent lung capacity. The doc had no idea why I had so much trouble, or why I would go so purplish red and my heart rate go up so much - but considered it was just a foible and there was nothing "wrong" - I just could not run. I still can't.

I think what that teacher is doing to your son is bullying and wrong, and should be stopped.

Hellocatshome · 24/05/2021 16:02

We’re going swimming soon, he’s a v strong swimmer.
He might be a strong swimmer but without someone pushing him to do more then he currently does his fitness won't improve. If you always do what you've always done you will always get what you've always got. Could he join a lifesaving club etc so he gets pushed?

Tehmina23 · 24/05/2021 16:03

I hated & still hate running from the age of 13 in the early 90s as our PE teacher was a bitchy bully who got the same popular sporty girls to pick teams every PE lesson...
I was crap at most team sports & athletics as I had developed a larger chest but did not have a sports bra (or know they existed). I was then told 'you run like an elephant' despite being one of the thinner girls!

So it's unsurprising that I've avoided running all my life.

Out of school I did dance classes, long walks, swimming & cycling which I enjoyed.
It's just a shame that many schools have / had a narrow view of what PE should entail.

BogRollBOGOF · 24/05/2021 16:07

Thank goodness I did dancing outside of school as other than gymnastics/ aerobics, I was beyond hopeless at traditional athletics/ team sports. I suspect dyspraxia for a multitude of reasons (and DS has a diagnosis too). I have always done something for fitness into adulthood, but it never stemmed from PE.

Generally PE has improved since my days in the 90s of being sidelined and insulted, and it's disappointing that those days aren't totally obselete. My issues were being the smallest by a considerable margin, poor technique, terrible co-ordination and poor equipment. It took my PE teachers 4 years to realise that I genuinely was that shit. I still dutifully turned up with kit and it seemed to finally click that I wasn't trying to duck out of it, but was actually just that inept!

It was mobile phones that taught me how to run after the PE teachers failed to teach any technique, and it's social media that feeds encouragement. It certainly wasn't the PE teacher yelling "come on, you aren't even trying" as I wheezed past, shins on fire and stabbing stitches, or the classmates chanting "lapped you, lapped you twice, lapped you three times" It's bloody lonely and embarrasing being out there alone still doing the 1500m while everyone else is done and has their breath back.

The irony is that running can be great for neurodiverse people as there is little co-ordination involved, and you can get a social and competitive atmosphere at places like parkrun/ races without the obligation and social pressure and closed pool of school, and just have the competition with yourself if that motivates you. Or it can be as casual as you wish.

Last does not mean unfit or lack of trying, and no other subject is taught this way. It's like randomly saying "do long division... you got that wrong, do more long division" with no attempt to explain how to do it.

I'm glad you're looking into this OP.

knittingaddict · 24/05/2021 16:08

@WashingFairyRequired

Dh said his old football coach used to do this, he said one particular boy was larger than all the others so always came last. It made the boy more determined and eventually was one of the best players and when doing warm up laps was one of the 1st to finish.
That's great, but presumably that boy had chosen to join a football team and be coached. Not really the same thing as school PE when you have to suffer through sports you neither enjoy nor want to do.
Zzelda · 24/05/2021 16:12

You mention that you find it difficult to work around his demand avoidance.

Could it be that the teacher is responding to exactly that?

If that is the case, the teacher is utterly incompetent. Placing unreasonable and humiliating demands on someone with PDA is the direct opposite of recommended strategies.

Hellocatshome · 24/05/2021 16:12

That's great, but presumably that boy had chosen to join a football team and be coached. Not really the same thing as school PE when you have to suffer through sports you neither enjoy nor want to do.

This attitude that exercise/pe is less valid than other education is odd. Lots of students have to suffer through academic lessons they neither enjoy nor want to do.

LuaDipa · 24/05/2021 16:14

This is awful and I think you are right to talk to the school. This sort of treatment is hardly going to motivate him and is more likely to put him off.

I would have hoped that school pe lessons had improved since we were kids. Cross country put me off running for years, but I absolutely love it now. We want our kids to be healthier but schools do very little to encourage it.

For what it’s worth, my son is very fit now but at your son’s age did fill out a bit due to puberty etc. We didn’t say anything and maintained our usual healthy diet and all was fine. He loves most sports but still absolutely hates running!! I think cross country put him off too.

knittingaddict · 24/05/2021 16:15

@Hellocatshome

That's great, but presumably that boy had chosen to join a football team and be coached. Not really the same thing as school PE when you have to suffer through sports you neither enjoy nor want to do.

This attitude that exercise/pe is less valid than other education is odd. Lots of students have to suffer through academic lessons they neither enjoy nor want to do.

And do they get a nice dose of ritual humiliation while they are doing it? Not if the teacher is any good they don't.
JellyBabiesFan · 24/05/2021 16:23

Did they get sent around again becuase they are unfit or did not try.

If unfit then poor attitude from the teacher
If they did not try then fair game

5zeds · 24/05/2021 16:28

It sounds like he doesn’t do nearly enough exercise for his age. When was the last time you got sweaty or he did? Young animals (especially young male animals) need to be much more physically active than pe once or twice a week. It’s like expecting him to learn to read without ever reading to him at home.

I’d ask the PE teacher if he can run the extra lap less publicly but ultimately he really needs to do more.

LolaSmiles · 24/05/2021 16:48

It begs the question why is the child so unfit in the first place? All these bleating hearts on here moaning about how they hated PE.....It's why there are so many morbidly obese people now. Exercise is good for you and absolutely should be compulsory for every child.
A child's current level of fitness or a child's weight does not make any difference to a teacher's responsibility as a teacher. I'd be mortified if I heard any of my colleagues humiliating a student and would be speaking to relevant members of senior leadership or Heads of Year.

I'm one of those "bleeding hearts" who hated some PE. I was also a very fit student and love exercise as an adult. I hated some PE lessons because the teachers didn't bother to account for the range of students in the class and they played favourites.

Exercise is good for you.
Adults humiliating children is not good for them.
Most adults with an ounce of compassion know the difference.

Rainbowsew · 24/05/2021 17:20

I'd be interested to see the teacher's reply on the justification for it. Sounds like the sort of hideous thing my PE teacher did back in the 80s! Very demoralising Sad

Bloodylovecheese · 24/05/2021 17:24

I was that child too...on my first ever p.e. lesson at high school I came last and was made to do a 'death run' in front of the whole class. It destroyed me and made me hate the teacher and skive off p.e. day as much as I could get away with. This affected me for the next three years until the next school.
I cannot believe this is still going on...it's so humiliating and leads to long term damage.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 24/05/2021 17:25

that's just cruel

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 24/05/2021 17:32

@LolaSmiles

agreed.
I hated PE because I don't have a ball sense so was shite at all ball based team sports.

I loved extreme sports though, which I chose to do. I did parachute jumping, rock climbing (the proper type, in nature), abseiling, cave climbing and was incredibly fit & strong as a teen.
I also used to walk & swim a lot.

I am now overweight for various reasons, none of which is my hatred for PE as a kid!🤣(I'm on the path to getting healthier again.)

buffyp · 24/05/2021 17:45

@5zeds

It sounds like he doesn’t do nearly enough exercise for his age. When was the last time you got sweaty or he did? Young animals (especially young male animals) need to be much more physically active than pe once or twice a week. It’s like expecting him to learn to read without ever reading to him at home.

I’d ask the PE teacher if he can run the extra lap less publicly but ultimately he really needs to do more.

What an incredibly rude post. It sounds nothing of the sort. These sorts of attitudes are exactly what put me off. It’s bullying. You do not have to run to get fit . There are lots of different options to get fit and any teachers worth their salt would be exploring them with this child not humiliating them. I had undiagnosed exercise induced astronomy and struggled long distances. People like you made me feel like shit.
buffyp · 24/05/2021 17:58

@tattleandbagels

It's a sad world when asking kids to exercise is called a punishment or an humiliation. Explains a lot, but still depressing.
On the contrary it’s a very sad world when people like you consistently defend bullying. You know fine well there are other kinder ways of encouraging fitness in children but you seem determined that they shouldn’t be humiliated. It has nothing to do with competition. I’m so glad you are not my children’s pe teacher.
DorotheaDiamond · 24/05/2021 18:18

What pisses me off is the assumption that if the kid just tried harder he’d run faster. Dd is hyper mobile and her running gait is awful (flappy and knock kneed). No PE teacher has ever looked at this and suggested assessment/different trainers/working on her running style. No it’s just keep doing it any old way. No building up of technique/stamina - just do or die. So the ones with perfectly balanced bodies do really well and the rest are turned off sport. She’s also got lousy hand/eye coordination so team sports are out.

She can’t do any of the sports she actually enjoys at school so she absolutely hates all school pe lessons.

custardbear · 24/05/2021 18:21

That's so cruel and unnecessary - I hope you get someone into trouble for being an arse!

itsgettingwierd · 24/05/2021 18:21

Complain.

My ds is autistic and struggles with team games and has a neuromuscular disorder so struggles with running.

The PE teacher in his secondary school used it as an opportunity to bully him.

He would send him around to various teachers asking for a long wait.

Why no other teacher flagged it up I'll never know. I only found out a year after he'd moved secondary schools (because the whole place was awful ethos wise).

It's NEVER ok to humiliate someone because you think they should do better.

eeyore228 · 24/05/2021 18:23

It's important to find out what the school have to say before deciding the approach you take.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 24/05/2021 18:27

No PE teacher has ever looked at this and suggested assessment/different trainers/working on her running style. No it’s just keep doing it any old way. No building up of technique/stamina - just do or die.

That's because PE teaching is completely shit for the most part. It's the only subject in schools where actually they're not bothered about the weak ones and write them off/subject them to ritual humiliation without giving individual targeted help and support. Imagine if this happened in Maths and English.

BertramLacey · 24/05/2021 18:27

What an incredibly rude post.

It's also bloody lazy. In the OP's third post she says:

He enjoys football, rugby, pe and always comes out hot and sweaty.
But he has an exercise bike and punching bag that he spends an hour a night on.

He's doing plenty, @5zeds just fancied taking a pop at the OP without bothering to click 'See all'.

Bythemillpond · 24/05/2021 18:57

WashingFairyRequired

Dh said his old football coach used to do this, he said one particular boy was larger than all the others so always came last
It made the boy more determined and eventually was one of the best players and when doing warm up laps was one of the 1st to finish

It could have gone the other way and he could have never returned.

A few people might take humiliation and turn it into the fire to do better.
For most they just give up,