You don't have to be in love to have sex...?

[faithfulbird20]

I've just been talking to a couple of mates who all think you have to be in love to have sex. Please tell me they're wrong....I don't agree...

My brother in law once tried to convince me his brother did love me (a rough patch in my marriage) because we had conceived DD4....I just wanted to laugh sooo badly...

What do u think?

No of course you don't!
So long as its safe and fully consensual at all times then why not?
Its a fun activity

It's a very personal thing I suppose but is say it's not true for most - either that or lots of people fall in love WAAAY to quickly for a one night stand 🤣

No, of course you don’t. They’re completely wrong. Think of all the one night stands that take place, they’re not going to be couples who are in love, are they? They’ve just met.

Plenty of people end up having sex with people they actively dislike as well. Being sexually attracted to someone and being in love/liking someone’s personality doesn’t always co-exist.

How do they explain rape?

What a strange question, people will have very different views on it, obviously.

Your friends might have to be in love to have sex however I think the vast majority of people would disagree.
It's quite naive of them to think this is the case for everyone.

@KaleSlayer what's ur opinion?

No, of course you don't.

@Puntastic I think they mean consensual sex...

How old are these friends?

I've just been talking to a couple of mates who all think you have to be in love to have sex.

That makes no sense as surely they're just talking about themselves?

Are you seriously telling us they've never heard of drunken one night stands, fuck buddies and Tinder??

You must have misunderstood them.

I do, but that's me and I don't condone anyone who wants to have fun!

IMO The ingredients for good sex are sexual attraction, respect, communication, and relaxedness around the other person. Do not require love to be in the equation but love helps some of those ingredients be in place. Are rarely in place for one night stands, which might be why one night stands are routinely quite shit for women.

In fact I'd say you've definitely misunderstood them because otherwise you're telling us these grown women have never heard of prostitutes either?

What about one night stands which are very common? You can hardly love someone you’ve just met!

It depends on the individual. I've always been very much able to separate emotions and sex. But then close friends have said the opposite. I have had meaning sex, but on the whole it tends to be an means to an end.

Okay how about this one...you have to be in love to hAve a child? Agree or disagree? Or is the same thing? I'm thinking that's what they meant...I'm confusing myself now...

Do you mean physically? Like your body can't have a baby unless the sex was in a certain type of relationship?

Did you do sex ed at school? Sperm, egg. That's it. No oxytocin required.

Your mates are idiots.

You can get pregnant without being in love. If you get pregnant, you can have a child at the end of the pregnancy.

It's probably the ideal to bring up a child with two parents who love each other rather than don't, but plenty of people bring up children successfully as a single parent because the other parent is dead, or just left without contact, or both parents are involved, but don't get on well.

Being in love isn't necessary for either sex or having a child.

Good sex is about passion and mutual respect. It’s like scratching an itch. If l’d only had sex with someone l was in love with, that would have been very restrictive of my own personal needs.

If you have sex you can get pregnant.

No of course you don't have to be in love to have sex. However when you have sex and are very much in love it is ten times better. OP your bother in law is old school and how he thinks is actually rather sweet, naive and unusual; my husband never saw the point in sex for its own sake, love was so important to him.

Certainly people can have sex without being in love, I just don’t understand the appeal.

I'd take it they meant they have to be in love to want have sex with someone, not that people in general only have sex if they're in love, which evidentially isn't true!
But if they're saying it in a judgey, 'eww that's gross' kind of way, I can see that'd be pretty annoying.

For me, I don't have to love someone to have sex with them, but I do have to be very sexually attracted to them.

Hahaha, I've had plenty of sex with people I don't even find attractive! Sex is just sex....drop that bombshell on them and let them tie themselves in knots

No on both counts. There are children resulting from rape, one night stands etc. The parents wouldn't have been in love with each other. I think your friends need to retake sex Ed tbh.