I love our NHS, I do, but OMG my experience this afternoon...

[NewMatress]

DH admitted yesterday. Long story, but he usually has his pain managed by the hospice and is generally comfortable. I gave the hospital the hospice discharge letter with a list of his prescribed meds, when he was admitted.

He's been calling me c. every hour crying with pain and begging to come home. I've spoken to the nurse in charge a number of time asking what's gone so wrong with his pain management. She's been quite rude saying that he's getting everything prescribed.

Anyway, eventually a McMillian nurse called me to check the dose as she thought the break through pain relief dose was low. It turns out they've been using a liquid with a concentrate of only 1/10 of the one he's actually prescribed. I.e his prescription is for 5ml of a 10mg per ml liquid every hour and they've been giving him 5ml of a 1mg per ml liquid.

Once we got to the bottom of that I thought he'd be more comfortable, but when I went to visit him this evening, he's still crying with pain because at 6:30 he was still waiting for the breakthrough pain relief he'd asked for at 3:30. The nurse told me it was because it needs a 2nd sign off as a controlled drug, which I understand, so get one! At which point she said well discharge yourself then. I'll get a doctor and you discharge yourself. The doctor never came, I'd love to talk to to a doctor, no one has yet been able to tell me why DH is still there, as they've established the chest pain he was admitted with is nothing more sinister than his usual cancer pain.

When he did eventually get the pain relief, both nurses were quite rude to me about my impatience and one accused me of saying I wanted her to lose her job, which was simply not true. I said I wanted her to do what was needed to get the pain relief I.e. find a second person.

Meantime, the man in the bed opposite as begging for help the whole time I was there. He has no use of his hands and no one would help him with a drink (I did) and when they brought his dinner they just left it for him with no means to actually eat it. I marked my card again by insisting that someone help him.

I'm exhausted and I'm not the one who's ill. Don't tell me everyone in the NHS is an angel. I get it's tough but this is simply not OK.

I am so sorry that your husband was treated like that. Once it was established a mistake had been made with the strength they should have gone out of their way to get him sorted as soon as possible. I’m sorry that wasn’t the case. I would definitely complain through PALS, for a nurse to see a patient in such distress and have such a callous attitude is really worrying. The patient left thirsty and to have food placed in front of them which they cannot eat is also disgusting

I’m a former NHS worker so understand the stress involved and the yea4s of working with less and less resources and less staff and still being expected to not only do your job, but take on extra duties. I never forgot there was a patient at the end of everything. The attitude you describe sounds awful.

I know a lot of fantastic NHS workers, but the idea that everyone who works frontline in the NHS is an angel is problematic. I can remember as a child visiting my grandparents on the elderly wards and of course dealing with patients with dementia is difficult and frustrating but it was commonplace for patients to be ignored and for staff to be visibly annoyed and cold towards them .

Why do people insist they love the NHS?

It's shit. It's not fit for purpose and based on archaic modelling. Why people are continuing to flog the dead horse that's the NHS begs belief.

My father and mother were both treated appallingly by the NHS. When I had my first child I had pre eclampsia and had emergency c section. My baby was in special care. I still had a drip attached and no pain relief as they forgot. An agency nurse told me to get out of bed and get my own water. I could barely move. I did not clap last year.

Nurse here. Ring the switch board and ask to speak to the night manager. Ask them what is in place to ensure a second signatory is available promptly (ie within 10 minutes) for administration of controlled drugs overnight. Ask them to oversee your DH’s care overnight and handover to the ward manager/ matron in the morning (if he’s still there). Ask them to give a timescale for medical review/ to arrange discharge.

@Crunchymum
Why? Just why?
There are very good reason ms a person vomiting might need to go to A and E!!!!!
When I was having a massive placental abruption I vomited..

More money thrown at the NHS isn’t going to make nurses kinder or more caring. There are a lot of nurses who are outstanding, but a lot who lack the empathy and understanding to be good at their job. It really does make you wonder why some go into the job in the first place. I trained as a nurse many many years ago, when you just needed a couple of o levels and did your training mostly on the wards for a lot less money than nurses get now. I just feel that with nurses now studying at uni for a lot of their nurse training, and requiring degrees, that the quality of candidates that go into nursing is poor. Not sure why this is.

TBF, early on in his diagnosis when everyone hoped to be able to treat him, the care was excellent.

Hi @NewMatress

I work in the nhs - not a nurse- and I’m sorry to hear your experience but sadly not surprised.

Please document and report to pals, it’s the only way things will change. There are some staff who don’t seem suited to the role they are working in to put it mildly. The majority of staff are lovely, so those who are not give all of us a bad name.

Nurse here - ask to speak to a senior member of staff or the ward sister. This is so upsetting to read I can't imagine what it's like when he's begging you to take him home. Completely and utterly unacceptable!

As I understand it the two people who dealt with the medication were the two most senior nurses on the ward. Both in sister's uniform anyway (according to the pics on the wall)

Sorry to hear that op. That must be an awful situation. However I disagree that funding is the cause - that won't make a lazy nurse any better.

I experienced much the same when H was in hospital. I was answering the bells to old people who needs drinks, wee bottles or help with feeding. The lazy nurses all sat round the computer eating chocolate all day/night. ICU was however amazing.

I agree you need to complain. I'd also video them if they start behaving badly. I have a photo of the lazy nurses I saw - was very helpful when the trust tried to insisting that this would never happen.

In all honesty, I wouldn't photograph or video staff, it's against the rules and it'll make the situation potentially a lot worse if you get asked not to attend the ward anymore because of this. And they can do that.

I would take it as high as you can and complain, voice your concerns, the ward sister and her senior will take this seriously I would hope!

I’m sorry this is happening to you and your husband @NewMatress.

I’ve also been on the end of some weird rudeness and bad treatment on the NHS- Not as serious as your husband obviously, but after a huge life-threatening PPH with my second child I woke in critical care to find my baby asleep next to me in the cot but I was otherwise alone, me hooked up to a load of monitors and with canulas in both arms for a blood transfusion. When my baby started crying I found that I was totally tethered and she was too far for me to reach without ripping the tubes out of my arms. After about five minutes of the baby going mental a nurse walked past and said “you need to pick your baby up when they cry” and just kept on walking.... I was like “what?!?!” Had this same level of “care” throughout my stay on critical care, it was genuinely appalling! I later heard from friends who’d also had the unfortunate experience to end up on this ward that they experienced the same sort of thing.

The only thing I can advise is reporting to PALS, which was what I did. I only got back what read like a standard response and I’m sure it did fuck all, but writing the email made me feel a bit better at least.

@Mango101

Sounds like a lot of posters are crying out to pay more taxes.

To fund the NHS to the average level of comparable EU countries to relieve the hideous pressures that currently affect quality and waiting times.

I suspect lots of PP would be happy to pay higher taxes to fund the NHS better, I would. I also feel there’s lots of areas the government could cut spending, in order to fund the NHS properly.

I hope the painkiller issue have been resolved & your husband is in less pain now.

15 years ago I ended up in hospital massive internal injuries & broken bones after a really bad rta.
I had a nurse refuse to get me a commode (1st night without a catheter), leave me with a bed pan which ended up leaking onto the bed because I couldn't physically keep myself lifted above it.
I had to sleep/lie in a wet bed.
I then got out of bed for the 1st time (unsupported) in over a week the following day. I was meant to be out for 1-2hrs max. I was out for 8 & to top it off they didn't even change my bed.
My mum came to visiting hours in the evening found how long I'd been out. Pulled the covers back whilst waiting for a nurse ready to help get me back in. Found the wet/dirty sheets. (I then told her about the bed pan incident)
She stormed off ward to the nurses station & gave them hell. If she hadn't been around I can garauntee I'd have been put back in that bed.

They also refused to change my meds even though I was vomiting everytime I took them. So I just stopped taking them as it was just so painful!

I also had a nurse in the ct area try to force me to drink the liquid they give you. I'd managed 1 cup & started vomiting. She got properly shirty at me but by this point I was sick of the shitty attitudes, care & food. In no uncertain terms I told her "when you've got multiple internal injuries & broken ribs & vomit then you can tell me, I 'must' drink it. I said No." I was 20s but only looked about 16 so I think she thought she could bully me. She stropped off to get someone else, I told them I wasn't drinking it. They shrugged & said well I can't pour it down your throat... My scans were OK.

Oh also when I got transferred to the above hospital they couldn't give me meds because they didn't have a doctor to sign off. I had to go over 12hrs with no meds. Less than 48hrs after my accident.

Most of the nurses were nice & helpful & my physio went above & beyond for me. Trying to get my meds changed. She was also mad about me being left out for an extra 6hrs. The next day she came back to make sure they had got me back in bed like they were meant to.

I've laughed many a times at people who claim hospitals were fantastic before tories were in charge (*disclaimer I don't vote tory)

@MH1111

More money won’t improve the NHS. It needs competition, we need a much bigger problem private sector solution.

You mean like in the 'States :)

In all my experiences of the NHS, myself and family members, nurses being caring is not something I have experienced in all but three circumstances and those nurses were older people, long retired now!

It’s unfashionable to say it but the NHS is a total
Shower at the moment. My father was killed from their neglect but it’s a national hobby to eulogise about it. I would be seriously worried without private cover

Sorry to hear what you are going through OP. Agree that you need to complain, once they are aware you are unhappy that will keep them on their toes. If they are getting concentrations of controlled meds wrong that is a clinical incident so the culprit will be in big trouble.
Agree the NHS is shit. Most of the nurses are lazy, arrogant and over educated, too clever to help a patient with a bedpan or get analgesia promptly. Might have A'levels and a degree but if you can't show compassion what's the point. Let's be honest it's generally the nurses who are the source of complaints. Fundamentally there is something wrong with their training, the wrong ones are getting through and qualifying. I say get back to basics, to when nurses knew what their role was rather than some jumped up half nurse half doctor.
Hopefully boris and the tories will sort the whole mess out, get some proper management in, involve the private sector who are far more responsive to paying patients and thrive on competition.Too many staff sat around gassing or on their mobiles. Pretty sure with brexit and behind the scenes shenanigans going on with private health insurance companies in the US things will get moving and the whole creaky edifice can finally be put to rest. Might be free but personally most people would rather pay a few hundred a month for something half efficient rather than the current set up.
.

Unfortunately over the pandemic, I've noticed a massive difference in care within the nhs. My husband is currently in hospital for Guillain-Barré syndrome as has only seen a doctor once. They've refused to sign a fit note to give his employers, saying they won't give one until he's leaving (best case he's in hospital for 2 months, worst case over a year). I've found the level of care and compassion minimal honestly.
Yanbu. You sound like you already have so much on your hands, you shouldn't be having to worry about the care he's receiving too.

I would pay more tax if it would actually help the front line of the NHS.

I actually had a hospital stay in the EU whilst on holiday. I had some stern/firm nurses that did not take whinging & I was expected to do as told. BUT there whole demeanour was caring underneath.

I don't think throwing more money at the NHS is going to fix it though... It needs a whole reform.
Also people need to stop taking the piss with going to A&E / GPs with things like a cold or equally stupid things. (I have seen this / almost had friends do this)

Sorry for your DHs experience OP, I hope he now has the correct dose of meds and is feeling more comfortable. What an awful thing to be put through when you're in such pain.

I can only agree with others this is nothing new, sadly. There have been shit, lazy medical staff around for more than 20 years. I know when my late Dad was in hospital back in 1997 there were several elderly men on his ward left to soil themselves, left thirsty and hungry because they needed help with food/drinks and couldn't manage alone. They'd spend all day calling for help and being ignored. Just awful.

I've heard awful experiences from friends too over the last 10-15 years, including one who was refused all pain relief after a joint replacement and told not to make a fuss about nothing . The poor woman was in agony. She got her pain relief the next day and all the other nurses tried to make out she had refused to take it rather than the nurse refusing to administer it which shows there's no point making a complaint because the slack ones all cover for each other.

I have experienced some excellent nursing care, when my DS was young in a paediatric ward at the Royal London I couldn't fault any of the nurses. Ditto at other specialist hospitals. But others have left much to be desired, frankly.

Also it was a private hospital who messed up my meds so that my day case as a young teen turned into over night because they had to keep a close eye on me as I was hallucinating.

When my late dp was admitted as a day case for an ascites drain we were told to be at the hospital in his home town for 9.00am. I moved heaven & earth to get him there on time, put ds in childcare, arranged for his dad to collect him from school & have him overnight. We arrived at 9.00am only to be put in the day room, a nurse came at 11.00am to take bloods but he didn't get a bed until about 1.30pm, we were still waiting for the blood results to come so they could start the drain at 3.00pm, I kept on asking them to ring the labs but nothing happened, it took the matron arriving & me telling her we needed to get the drain done for the blood results to magically appear, his drain was finished by 7.00pm but the doctor refused to remove the tube as it hadn't been in 4 hours, there was no more fluid to remove, I mentioned the matrons name & his tube was removed & he was discharged. I would recommend anyone either going in hospital or who has a loved one in hospital to find out the matron's name, phone number & email address, don't bother with Pals as they only close ranks, go straight to matron.

F*ck that is awful. For your dh, you and the patient who you, as a visitor, provided essential care to!

The NHS is broken. I sadly have a lot of experience with it. But the idiot majority in this country keep voting Tory