I love our NHS, I do, but OMG my experience this afternoon...

[NewMatress]

DH admitted yesterday. Long story, but he usually has his pain managed by the hospice and is generally comfortable. I gave the hospital the hospice discharge letter with a list of his prescribed meds, when he was admitted.

He's been calling me c. every hour crying with pain and begging to come home. I've spoken to the nurse in charge a number of time asking what's gone so wrong with his pain management. She's been quite rude saying that he's getting everything prescribed.

Anyway, eventually a McMillian nurse called me to check the dose as she thought the break through pain relief dose was low. It turns out they've been using a liquid with a concentrate of only 1/10 of the one he's actually prescribed. I.e his prescription is for 5ml of a 10mg per ml liquid every hour and they've been giving him 5ml of a 1mg per ml liquid.

Once we got to the bottom of that I thought he'd be more comfortable, but when I went to visit him this evening, he's still crying with pain because at 6:30 he was still waiting for the breakthrough pain relief he'd asked for at 3:30. The nurse told me it was because it needs a 2nd sign off as a controlled drug, which I understand, so get one! At which point she said well discharge yourself then. I'll get a doctor and you discharge yourself. The doctor never came, I'd love to talk to to a doctor, no one has yet been able to tell me why DH is still there, as they've established the chest pain he was admitted with is nothing more sinister than his usual cancer pain.

When he did eventually get the pain relief, both nurses were quite rude to me about my impatience and one accused me of saying I wanted her to lose her job, which was simply not true. I said I wanted her to do what was needed to get the pain relief I.e. find a second person.

Meantime, the man in the bed opposite as begging for help the whole time I was there. He has no use of his hands and no one would help him with a drink (I did) and when they brought his dinner they just left it for him with no means to actually eat it. I marked my card again by insisting that someone help him.

I'm exhausted and I'm not the one who's ill. Don't tell me everyone in the NHS is an angel. I get it's tough but this is simply not OK.

I had similar problems with my dad when he had terminal cancer. Was a real eye-opener about the poor quality of care in the NHS, the uncaring and lazy attitude of some nursing staff and the need for a huge overhaul.

I had a horrible experience 2 years ago of being admitted. The lack of care was absolutely staggering.... A & E were marvellous and so compassionate but the ward was a whole other ball game. I'm really cross with myself that I didn't make a complaint afterwards.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this shit

I’m an nhs nurse, I’m so sorry for how your husband is suffering. And for that substandard care.

The Nurse in charge clearly isn’t dealing with this properly.

I’d advise you to complain via PALS and ward manager. Sadly, there are some wards with a poor culture but this should not be tolerated.

Is a syringe driver an option ? If he is normally receiving hospice care for symptom control then I’d think it could be. These can deliver continuous strong pain killers / anti sickness etc. The hospital palliative care team could advise the ward.

Hope the situation improves x

That sounds like typical NHS 'care' it's not great and there are only a few caring angels.

Not acceptable.

It’s a long shot OP but if you’re in Liverpool there’s 24 hour phone line where urgent matters (this is - it’s a medication error that appears not to be being taken seriously) can be escalated. www.rlbuht.nhs.uk/contact-us/patient-advice-and-complaints-team/

Other hospitals may have similar. I hope they do.

Sadly, OP, this is not new.

In 2015, my DM was dying. She had been told that because she was allergic to morphine, there was no alternative. In fact earlier in her treatment she was given morphine despite her allergy, and passed out in a bathroom after an op. Luckily for her, she ended up in the Royal Marsden for a period, though that was way out of area as she'd travelled there for experimental treatment. Anyway she could have alternative pain relief, so I'm glad she didn't have to tolerate the pain.

My DM's time on a NHS ward locally was abysmal. She was boiling but not allowed a fan for infection control reasons (pre-coved); was repeatedly threatened with violence by a dementia patient opposite and repeatedly asked me to help patients who were left lying semi-naked or in need of bed pans (which I did). It was hellish.

I worked in an allied health profession briefly after that and was sickened by the ratio of band 7-8 compared to 2-5. There were, and still are, senior staff sitting around doing 'research' in offices while patients waited weeks for basic treatment. Those same staff are now largely WFH while bands 2-5 hold the fort.

It's not fit for purpose.

I’m so sorry OP. Your poor DH.

I am close to detesting the NHS. Covid excuses everywhere.

I’ll never ever forgive the NHS for the treatment I’ve received- I was sexually assaulted by a consultant two years ago and I’m fighting tooth and nail to have it recognised. I’m sure they don’t know I’ve got their emails between themselves trying to cover it up. Cunts.

But that’s me.
Complain to everyone. OP if you can’t handle it could you get a friend or relative to type the complaints and make it a formal complaint and speak to the doctors on the ward.

I wish you good luck

We all appreciate the NHS, that doesn't mean that you should be satisfied with sub par care. That sounds incredibly tough, and definitely warrants a complaint. I'm sorry.

What a disgrace they are but its no surprise. I lost faith in the NHS a long time ago. Its a shameful service.

Sounds like a lot of posters are crying out to pay more taxes.

To fund the NHS to the average level of comparable EU countries to relieve the hideous pressures that currently affect quality and waiting times.

I feel for you totally

I was admitted as and emergency A&E brilliant

Ward complete crap as it was discovered I had gallstones and I wasn’t allowed any meds still seen by the doc

I’m breathing really heavy making a noise as the pain was well.....
A nurse shouts at me to shut up as she was treating a patient
I’m like wtf I’m in pain you insensitive cow and told her so through gritted teeth

I wasn’t the only one on that ward that got treat like shit
Ward sister wasn’t much help till I said I’d go higher
Strangely she wasn’t on shift that next night.

I have on occasion experienced exceptionally wonderful treatment from the NHS.
However I believe NHS negligence contributed to the death of my beloved Mother. My complaints to the hospital were handled appallingly. Some of the staff were complete unprofessional.
I am so sorry for your experience OP.

@Umbra

I was visiting my friend in hospital after she'd had a bad accident, pre-Covid. There was an old lady opposite, sitting in a chair, who was ringing her buzzer and calling for a nurse. Repeatedly. No-one came. I went to the nurses' station and mentioned the old lady and got a 'yeah, someone will be there in a minute' attitude.

The old lady ended up wetting herself. All over the chair, the floor. Then, a nurse came, and told her off!

So yeah, angels, my arse.

God, this is awful. That poor lady.

@Livingintheclouds

I took my vomiting au pair to a & e at 2am (pre covid). She was retching like you wouldn't believe. Even the receptionist came out to check on her. The triage nurse said I shouldn't have brought her in but called an out if hours GO and gave ne such attitude. Anyway, turns out one of my school mum frirnds is married to the head of A & E. She said that was ridiculous there are no out if hours GPS after midnight. She asked who the nurse was and she was reprimanded. If you work with people, especially people who are distressed, vulnerable, scared and sick, you don't pull an attitude. You don't have one on any job, but particularly not this one. Nurses and other NHS staff are not the only ones overworked and underpaid.

You took a vomiting person to A&E?

Genuine question - why????

Uness there were other symptoms the triage nurse was 100% correct.

@Mango101

Sounds like a lot of posters are crying out to pay more taxes.

To fund the NHS to the average level of comparable EU countries to relieve the hideous pressures that currently affect quality and waiting times.

Yep

A ok with me

I really feel for you. The care my dd received every time she was in hospital (10+ times) was so shockingly shit I was scared to leave her. She needed 24/7 respiratory care and often was left to the point of an almost fatal accident. I hope your DH is more comfortable now.

More money won’t improve the NHS. It needs competition, we need a much bigger problem private sector solution.

This is very distressing to read, I’m so sorry.

Like a pp I’ve also witnessed an elderly person buzzing for help with the loo and the nurses doing nothing. It seems they rather people wet themselves. I honestly don’t get it. But if you dare to help the person all hell breaks loose.

@Mango101

Sounds like a lot of posters are crying out to pay more taxes.

To fund the NHS to the average level of comparable EU countries to relieve the hideous pressures that currently affect quality and waiting times.

I would rather pay more.

Sorry to hear of your DH' experience, that is really not ok and the behaviours of the staff you describe is unacceptable

@Mango101

Sounds like a lot of posters are crying out to pay more taxes.

To fund the NHS to the average level of comparable EU countries to relieve the hideous pressures that currently affect quality and waiting times.

Yes let's pay these cruel rude nurses more.

Obviously money is an issue, I'd genuinely have no problem paying more, but what actually needs sorting out is the inefficiencies, as much as giving them more money to waste. In just one example, patient transport arranged to get DH to a scan appointment. On arrival it was noted that he hadn't had the blood test he needed, so they wouldn't do the scan. Wasted transport, wasted scan appointment. No one told us he needed a blood test, you'd think if it was so important there'd be a system to check before the day. And don't get me started on the volume of pointless letters.

I don't understand why people like this enter a caring profession. Being in extreme pain is like torture.

Discusting behaviour from them.

I would complaint to PALS and cc in Matt Hancock, your MP perhaps, newspapers you want to include and anyone else you think should know.

The hospital will then respond very quickly- I'm sure. I've done this before after being advised to always make sure it's copied to others so it can't be ignored. For me - it's always made a big difference.

It feels very risky to escalate complaints while you're still dependent on the help of the people concerned.

So sorry for your DP. Definitely raise a complaint whenever you are feeling up to it, although in my experience I'm not sure complaining achieves anything and we have complained multiple times. Unfortunately we are regular NHS users with DC and have experienced the best and the worst but it has noticeably gone down hill the last 2-3 years with much more poor experiences than good (poor being an understatement to be honest!)
Pre covid I had to seek private treatment for what was a life threatening condition that required immediate emergency surgery despite having attended a&e on 3 occasions that week with a history of the condition and previous emergency surgery! One private appointment and was admitted straight to the very same NHS hospital I had been going to the ED and had surgery a few hours later! ...that hasn't even been the worst of our experiences either.
There is some incredible staff without a doubt and it is such a relief to be treated by someone who is caring and professional but I feel like it actually stands out more because it's so flipping rare in the NHS lately!