What do your young DC say happened at school?

[frost8bite]

Do they tell you anything?
My DS5 says 'I don't know' or 'I don't remember' to any variations of how was your day at school / what did you do / what did you eat etc
I don't know why ask anymore! Hey maybe one day!!

This was my oldest DC, however DC no.2 used to give a full description, including acting out the entire P.E lesson

Also "I don't remember" it's very frustrating!

Mine rarely tell me anything voluntarily. It also depends how you ask the question. “What did you do at school today?” Will illicit the response “nothing”. Whereas “what was the funniest thing that happened today?” Is more likely to open up a bit of dialogue and you get a bit more out of them.

Dd3 comes out of pre school. I say have you had a lovely day. She replies.
I didn't do anything today. Everyone's horrible.
I say oh OK.
As if I continued to ask she'd get shitty.
Then she'll pipe up. Me and x played x today. Then we did this then that etc

A useful tip I got was to ask
What was your favourite thing in school today?
Or
Did anything make you sad today?

You might find out a tiny bit more about what is going on

I get the full story at bedtime especially who has misbehaved that day .

When I ask, she'll say she will tell me later or nothing or she can't remember. But sometimes we will have a bath together in the evening or have a cuddle up on the sofa before bedtime and she will get a second wind and start chatting and little bits of her day will come out.

On a day trip when DD2 was in Reception, parents received a text at 2.45 saying that the School Bus had NOT been involved in a crash. Needless to say, DD2 gave me a full description of her morning spent in the motorway crash... (The bus had been stuck for a couple of hours in traffic. They anticipated that the story would be rather jumbled!)

By his 2nd day of reception class my son replied "nothing - and that's what I'm going to say every time you ask me".
So after a while I stopped asking and he would just tell me when he wanted to - but usually at dinner or when having his shower or waking home. Sometimes it was even things that happened a week or day before.

He is a teen now so harder to get any feedback - for example what was for lunch at school today or who did you have lunch with - I can't remember.

My view is he talks when he is ready and so far I can spot if he is unhappy and that works - to be honest me asking him everyday makes him more unhappy

Oooh I listened to a podcast on this thread other day.

Apparently they have trouble remembering ‘seeing’ things but easily remember ‘feeling’ things.

Example - my dd3 (nearly 5) most days she tells me that so and so was mean and she’s had a bad day. Then comes home from school with a head teachers award for being so friendly, kind and sharing and loving school.

DC1 tells me basically nothing. Maybe occasionally like "I had a cookie for pudding today" or "it rained at playtime"

DC2 tells me absolutely everything in great detail, with some fantasy elements thrown in to keep me on my toes and check I'm really listening.

They tell me the exciting things. For example, one of her friends bumped his head and "there was blood EVERYWHERE Mummy!". And this week there was a bird in their classroom. This is basically all I know.

Brilliant tips on question phrasing! Thank you!! Xx They are so funny aren't they

Waiting just a few minutes say 15 to 30 seemed to help my son. Also it's a bit American but there is a game called high low buffalo, the idea is you say the best bit about the day worst bit and then something else random or interesting. This sometimes worked with mine no idea why it's buffalo though lol

Mine tell me stuff. I also ask things like what was the funniest/silliest/kindest thing that happened today. Who did you enjoy playing with the most. That kind of thing. We all talk about our days while we have tea so it's become usual. If I say 'what did you do' other times I'd also get not much back.

In my experience as teacher, mum and grandmother the usually say 'nothing'. It me ns they're tired and more information will probably emerge later.

DD doesn't tell me anything, it's annoying. Her usual responses are, I don't know, I can't remember, nothing, I fell and got a plaster. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Some days ds5 tells me lots, other days nothing at all and is grumpy if I ask him anything! I normally get a register of who was off, what was wrong with them (as if he knows!), what teachers were missing and who’s been naughty 🤣

For a children 7/8 and under questions can be tricky for them. The "wh" questions (what, when, where, who) should be avoided if you want an answer.

Did you enjoy your (insert lunch item)?

Did you play with (insert friends name)?

I see paint on your top, were you making lovely pictures?

You look very happy, did something really good happen today?

You look sad, did something happen to upset you?

Use whatever info you know about their day or can pick up on to ask something specific, it may trigger a memory and they will (hopefully) elaborate.

"What did you do today?" Follows by "Nothing" used to drive me potty!

I remember reading a list like this years back which has lots of ideas for alternative questions herviewfromhome.com/50-questions-to-ask-your-kids-instead-of-asking-how-was-your-day/

When DD(7) started school she used to reenact the entire day, including break and lunch! DS was tiny then and I quite enjoyed listening to her ramble away, sometimes with my eyes shut... Now she's in Y2 and sometimes I get a full run down, sometimes I get "not much" or just "maths" or similar! I know that, DD...

DS(2) is at preschool now and I either get "nothing" or "everything" when I ask him what he did. One of the staff said it's lucky we know them well (DD went there too) because he claims that nobody plays with him or talks to him, and he sits on his own if he's there for lunch

I remember asking my then 9 years old DS had he done anything exciting at achool. Whilst he had a think and replied 'No it was boring" I was looking at pictures of him on the school twitter feed. He had a giant snake draped over his arms in one and was cuddling a rat in another.

The only way I can get any info is to start the conversation about lunch! What did you have for lunch (even though I know because I made it

I'll tell you later, i.e don't bother me now

infant school: what they had for lunch, getting a sticker for being good

junior school: random crap

high school: oh btw I need this list of ingredients for tomorrow's food tech. what do you mean it's too late? it's not even midnight!

college: nada