When's the hardest bit of baby / infant years?

[ItsARandomName]

When is the hardest time raising a baby / infant and when does it start to improve / if at all? (Not talking about teenage years here - I know that's a whole other challenge!!)

But from newborn till, say, they're at primary school, when would you say was the hardest part?

My DD is 11months and I've found the period from 8 months noticeably harder (even though I thought the newborn bit was hard at the time, and I was pumping every 3 hours for 6 months).

We had a 8-9 month sleep regression which was hell and even though she's sleeping now I feel I've not recovered. Now she's moving everywhere and is an extremely heavy baby my body feels broken.

Also Covid means I'm doing 100% all days without support bubble, groups or health visitor support etc.

Anyway, right now feels the hardest it's been so far for me. I guess I'm trying to brace myself for what's coming up and also looking forward some glimmer of hope.

I would definitely say the first year is the hardest . I went back to work at 14 months and it that definitely helps. Around 4 it gets much easier, they can play on their own, have unite a bit of understanding, toilet trained. Are getting more independent. Mine are 5 and almost 3 now and things are definitely much better as times goes on.

Oh and when they start talking! Definitely helps the frustration of what they want.

Sleep deprivation.

However, lots of this will depend
a) on the baby
and
b) on all the other circumstances in your life.

I found 8 - 13 months toughest with my first. She was crawling and wanted to be moving everywhere...on the floors of trains, outside in the park, in cafes etc etc. When she started to walk it got so much better because you could pop her in a park and she could run off. Plus she was fully settled at nursery and I was back in work.

She’s now 3 and such a joy.

I think anyone with a baby now is having an especially tough time (myself included, I have a 7 months old). Pandemic mat leave is hard!

I found 1-2 bloody hard. They are becoming more independent but still can’t communicate so get frustrated. Dd was an angel 2 year old, and then 3 was absolutely fucking awful. The tantrums, whinging, moaning. Everything was a battle and it drove me crackers.

She’s 4.5 now and honestly I love being a mum again. Only have meltdowns when she’s really tired and can be talked round in minutes, listens to me (!) and it’ll generally a wonderful person to be around. Thank god because I did think I was going to go a bit mad!

So the cliche of this too shall pass is very, very true. Annoyingly

Depends on the baby. DS1 didn’t sleep for more than 90 minutes from 3-11 months....everything after that was easier. DS2 slept decently until about 12 months and was a much more self entertaining baby (would sit and play with his baby gym for 20 minutes unlike DS1 who might manage 2) so was actually harder as a toddler.

Pretty much hated 12-24 months with both of mine.

3.5 to 4
Tantrums and anger, no more naps but still tire quickly. Too big to just pick up and plonk in the pushchair or pen so you can get on while they tantrum.

Aged 1- 2.
Hard because they want to be able to communicate and can't, causing meltdowns. They want to be moving around independently and be able to play with whatever they fancy.. but can't alway, again, meltdowns! Plus still teething, fussing, clingy. First year back at work after maternity leave and getting in to the new routine and all the emotions. Lots of colds / bugs due to mixing with other kids and in new settings.

I found the first few weeks tough. I felt tired and sore and had a feeling I was doing it all wrong. Ds are 2 and 6 and have loved it ever since!

4 months. 2-3 years. 12 - 15. The last was the worst as it comes with a whole new level of worry. Give me a toddler any day.

I remember your phase as one of the hardest, probably 8-12mo. Baby is mobile and at risk of killings themselves fairly constantly, but the main bit is by that stage the sleep deprivation is chronic and cumulative. If breastfeeding they are still so dependent on you. Post 1 year, it gets easier to get help. And when they walk they get more fun and talking is even funner. It starts to feel more like a relationship and less like a parasite. Kidding!!

The first 6 weeks, and then 13 months to around 20 months - when he was walking and very mobile but couldn't really communicate. And he put everything in his mouth or climbed every piece of furniture, you couldn't leave him for a second.

Now he's 2 and a bit he's much more chill. The tantrums are epic but don't really bother me.

I highly recommend a playpen for 8-12 months.

I found 1-2 hardest.
0-12 months easiest but it is all personal preference.

I think the first 4 months are hardest. Then much easier after that.

Gradually gets easier, a bit at a time, with the odd backward step along the way.

Much much easier from 4

I found 8-13 months the easiest! By 8 months all my babies were pretty much sleeping through the night. They were weaning so not 100% reliant on me for milk which was bliss. They could smile, laugh and interact but had not learnt to walk so we’re not running off everywhere. When confident walking and running happened it became harder for a while. My dd was great from 2.5 up. My sons were really hard at 3-4 until they started school.

IMO the first 3 months are the easiest, then the next 3, and it starts getting harder after they are in the move, but definitely from 9-15m ish. Then it gets easier again, with flare ups in difficulty when they reach a difficult stage with bad tantrums etc. The flare ups can be the most tricky bit I've found, but they are sporadic, and difficult to predict. My nearly 4yo is trickier right now than she was when she was 9m old, much, much trickier, but I know it's a phase that will likely just last for a few weeks, rather than months.

I found 1 to 1.5y hardest, when they need more than care, food, warmth, but they can't tell you WHAT they need.

Then once DD could talk, it was plain sailing until 4yo, when suddenly she had all the tantrums and emotions that I thought we'd avoided.

1-2 was hardest for me. DS didn't walk until after his second birthday and he just got heavier and heavier and more difficult to carry. Once he was walking he was much less frustrated. Mind he's 3 now and communication still isn't great so that can still be very frustrating for everyone. I think every stage has its ups and downs

18 months until around 2.5/3. Basically the stroppy, irrational, strong willed but unable to communicate properly or be reasoned with stage. The stage of fighting naps, potty training, teething molars and having absolutely no common sense whatsoever.

The preschool years are absolutely lovely. So far the primary years have been lovely too.

it's all hard🙈
and the more you have the harder it gets and it won't get easier as they get older either🤣

my DS4 (14) is currently going through this daft phase of saying no to everything, like a 2 year old, because he thinks it's funny.
I mean it is quite hilarious at times, but not when I'm in a rush, stressed, tired and I just want him to empty the sodding dishwasher!

The first 6-12 months are quite a blur though. we had 7 kids in 13 years (plus a MC halfway through) so I reiterate: it's all hard!😉

My LO is only 19 months but I found 4 to 6 months with the sleep regression the hardest. After 6 months when the sleep improved and we weaned it was all a lot easier. My LO insisted on crawling from 8 months to 18 months and now he is finally walking things are easier as we can go for walks and jump in puddles rather than crawl through them.

My LO is only 19 months but I found 4 to 6 months with the sleep regression the hardest

Same. I have a 3.5yo. 4-6 months every (every) nap was outside, in the sling, while moving. It was the dead of winter. The neighbours used to bring me tea.

She has her challenges now but she talks, follows instructions, on a good day can play independently or with other kids the same age... I’m pretty sure if I left her in a playground with a bag of snacks and enough company she’d be good for 2/3 hours, however much social services would frown on it.