When's the hardest bit of baby / infant years?

[ItsARandomName]

When is the hardest time raising a baby / infant and when does it start to improve / if at all? (Not talking about teenage years here - I know that's a whole other challenge!!)

But from newborn till, say, they're at primary school, when would you say was the hardest part?

My DD is 11months and I've found the period from 8 months noticeably harder (even though I thought the newborn bit was hard at the time, and I was pumping every 3 hours for 6 months).

We had a 8-9 month sleep regression which was hell and even though she's sleeping now I feel I've not recovered. Now she's moving everywhere and is an extremely heavy baby my body feels broken.

Also Covid means I'm doing 100% all days without support bubble, groups or health visitor support etc.

Anyway, right now feels the hardest it's been so far for me. I guess I'm trying to brace myself for what's coming up and also looking forward some glimmer of hope.

1 to 2.

Hardest: 12-24 months for mine.

Easiest: hmm so far, I would say 3 years old (mine are currently 3 and 4 years)

They are all different though. So your hardest months might not be the same as other children's hardest months.

I've always said we've been really lucky because DD (17 months) has always been a great sleeper & eater/drinker, has never really been sick, never used to throw up after her milk, only had 3 nappy explosions, never had horrendous sleep regressions or been poorly. So that was great! Except when she did have a bad night, catch a cold it's feels so much harder because we've never really experienced it.

I'm sure this sounds like a stealth boast, but it's really not. She's now definitely making up for it with toddler tantrums and running wild!

Remind me why we are TTC a 2nd?!

First few weeks.
Loved it when they got more active.

It very much depends on the kind of baby you have. My absolute favourite was birth to about 4/5 months but I had lovely babies who breastfed well, took a bottle easily, were easy to settle into a routine etc. Older two were sleeping from a late feed around 11pm until 7am by 8 weeks. Youngest was a lot later than that but always slept well between night feeds.

Once weaning started I found it a lot harder and more anxiety inducing (the stress of ‘doing it right’) and it only got worse as they got older. The crawling / toddling stage was far harder (and with more disrupted sleep) than the baby one. 8m to about 20m was not fun. Started getting better once they were able to talk and communicate better and from about 2.5 it was much better. 3 onwards has been a breeze in comparison to the crawling/toddler years when you can’t turn your back for two seconds.

But everyone’s different and many people will say they much preferred the toddler stage!

All babies are different, so are all toddlers, so are all parents in terms of what they find hard!

As others have said, there really isn't a universal rule with this, so no one can tell you when you'll find easiest - but easier times will come! I found the first six months with DS1 awful, now DS2 is that age and I think he's a doddle. I thought 8 months was about when DS1 got really good (BUT that is when we sleep trained, which was transformative), but he's now 3 - often cited as an age at which they get much easier - and although he's a delight in some ways (he's hilarious, bright and can do much more interesting activities now) he's the most challenging he's been since babyhood - often stroppy and defiant and oh my god he never stops talking. But I know people who hated 1-2 - which I thought was a dream of a year - and talk about how much easier it is now they're 3.

I'm going to give a pain in the ass response here and say it depends on the child and probably the adult too.

With dc1, I found the newborn phase by far the hardest. It was awful. We just didn't sleep. I gained a pile of weight and was miserable.

Dc2, like you I exclusively pumped for almost a year (never again), but even then, it was a pretty stress free time. With dc2, I think the hardest was probably age about 18 mo to 2.5 years, but even that wasn't too bad.

They are 6 and 3 now and it's great. They're lovely and both go to school (preschool at the school for dc2). So I'd say from 3+ things get significantly easier and you get more back from them too in terms of chat and interaction. I sometimes miss the newborn days, but then I remember the sleep deprivation and think oh no, I don't miss that at all! Sleep deprivation is the worst thing with small babies. Once that's more or less sorted it's so much easier, although I'll never again be like I was pre DCs, getting a lie in on weekends etc. Maybe when they're a lot older.

Mine was and excellent sleeper from 12 weeks, so I didn't find her too difficult. When she was teething I found it very hard. She'd cry for hours on end and nothing we did or gave to her helped. She's now 2yrs 8 months and I've found her particularly difficult for the past few months. She has such a temper and her tantrums are off the scale! She has very good vocabulary for her age, so I don't think it's a communication issue. She's just very hot headed like me (unfortunately!) but I've learnt to control my temper over the years.

Mine were very easy sleepers, eaters , so I had it easy.

But the thing I found the hardest, apart from the sleep deprivation of the very early weeks and months was the fact that it never stopped , even at weekends! I had babies late and was used to the working week with weekends off and as my dh travelled a lot I found that very hard, nothing particularly difficult, but it was gently relentless. I remember crying one Saturday morning because I just wanted to nip to the local shop to buy a newspaper and do it spontaneously without the palava of the pram etc.

They all went through a difficult patch at 4 years too.

Hang in there op, progress may not always be linear, but it does get better!

0-2 hardest - after that was wonderful with the exception of potty training which was hell.

Great to see so many people saying 1-2 is the hardest part. I have an almost 2 year old and have found the last 6 months in particular really tough. She often has really specific things that she wants but can’t communicate well enough to tell me and so gets massively frustrated. She also just doesn’t have any ability to play independently so needs constant attention.
We have baby number 2 coming in a few months and I’m really stressing about how I’m going to manage with both of them. Hoping that she’ll get a bit easier when she can talk better.

@TheMotherlode it definitely gets easier when their language develops.

I taught Dd some really easy signs (eat, drink, milk, play etc) so that she could tell me what she wanted. I found that really helped her temper!

Loved the newborn stage , so, so easy and portable. I always think this when I see parents of ( particularly!!! )their first newborns floating around with a baby in a sling all zen. With young babies (again with my first as once you have other kids to look after especially if they are young it's a v v v different experience) I could watch a lot of Netflix, easily rested as they couldn't move, could meet ppl for coffee etc but my babies were all pretty chilled but from 18 months it was very very very difficult, the difference for me was huge! My dcs unfortunately were not good sleepers , its so much harder to settle and older child, I found bf easy enough but weaning was tricky and my dcs were all super climby and couldn't sit still for 5 seconds. They are older now and all very fit, healthy , intelligent and eat anything but the lack of sleep for years nearly finished me. Toddlers are so adorable to I find the constant moving and wandering off all the time very stressful.. my kids would always wander and head off in different directions.

I love being a parent, slightly dreading the teenage years as I used to work with teenagers and ppl love to tell you how hard it is.... even though I found the newborn part an absolute doddle and the toddler stage really hard I wouldn't say this to someone who had a small baby. I actually slept way better when my kids were newborns than post one year somthe whole "it gets easier" just isn't always true. From 3 upwards is fab, I love the preschool age, its magic and the primary school age is lovely too. There's definitely challenges in all stages though and particularly when you have more than one as you do it all again. Like when you gavd a few kids the sleep deprivation can go on years nit months etc. I love it but its been a challenge.

@TheMotherlode I have three and although the early years when they were all small were hard (we have no family support) its fantastic now as they all have each other. They play together all the time and get on brilliantly.

Loved the newborn stage , so, so easy and portable. I always think this when I see parents of ( particularly!!! )their first newborns floating around with a baby in a sling all zen. With young babies (again with my first as once you have other kids to look after especially if they are young it's a v v v different experience) I could watch a lot of Netflix, easily rested as they couldn't move, could meet ppl for coffee etc but my babies were all pretty chilled but from 18 months it was very very very difficult, the difference for me was huge! My dcs unfortunately were not good sleepers , its so much harder to settle and older child, I found bf easy enough but weaning was tricky and my dcs were all super climby and couldn't sit still for 5 seconds. They are older now and all very fit, healthy , intelligent and eat anything but the lack of sleep for years nearly finished me. Toddlers are so adorable to I find the constant moving and wandering off all the time very stressful.. my kids would always wander and head off in different directions.

See I found the opposite of literally everything you said - I found it much easier and more fun when he was moving than when he had to be carried, I thought the baby stage was so boring, I liked weaning but found breastfeeding literally draining, I'm finding 3 a harder age than 2 - but that doesn't mean either of us are wrong, just different and with different children! But it shows why individual anecdotes can't tell the OP much. I now have DS2 and can understand much more now why people like the newborn stage.

I know you said not teenage...and this isn't ...but adult😂

No one prepares you with your new born, that one day you will be the parent of an adult (or 6) ...now that's a totally different ball game...and enough to act as a contraceptive ( if only we knew!)

Tongue in cheek of course and a bit of a smile on this wet Saturday.😉