How do you makes friends when you hit middle age?

[midnightiswherethedaybegins]

I’m at a complete loss as to how I make friends. I feel awkward for saying that because it’s often a given that by this age, we have our friendship groups sorted! I’m a headteacher and can’t befriend the parents in my child’s class for obvious reasons. I can’t befriend colleagues even though we get on really well. I don’t have time for hobbies, but would just like a friend to catch up with and do stuff with on the odd weekend or school holiday. Any ideas?

Joined a dowsing group when 60
Loadsa friends
All scattered around the country😂

I started a book club and made friends through that - one in particular who's my age and we go for dinner and walks and stuff together.

I made friends at the gym...there’s a small group of us who are really close. So lunches at weekends, would drop stuff to help someone else out, etc. You’re going to have to find time for some sort of hobby to meet people.

I'm 46 and I made a couple of friends on a course I attended (it ran over 6 weeks) before the pandemic. I've also made some local friends from chatting while out walking.

I’ve just bitten the bullet and invited the lady who does my nails so I get on with really well out to see a band so hopefully that will be the start of something.

In 40s and moved from a large city to a tiny village. Been bumping into people on walks and connected with some people by joining the local Facebook mums group.

Reading other ideas with interest as don't have many local friends and it's always lovely to meet new people. Lockdown has definitely made things harder (and this continually crap spring weather!)

@midnightiswherethedaybegins

I’ve just bitten the bullet and invited the lady who does my nails so I get on with really well out to see a band so hopefully that will be the start of something.

Yay well done OP!

Join a book club, take up a new hobby, resurrect an old hobby, volunteer for different charities, do a sport even if it's just walking 5K at Parkrun. Go to church. Make friends with your neighbours, get involved with politics or campaigning. Get a dog and take it for walks.

I have recently made two really good friends by joining a local running group. I don't connect easily with people and find it hard to feel relaxed around people I've known for years but these two ladies are fab. I feel very lucky

I've had similar problems. I've been very social and met loads of people through various groups and activities but never seem to expand that contact outside of the specific activity. Friends (acquaintances really) never successfully move with me into the next phase of life. Lockdown has really highlighted for me the lack of actual friends.

I'm 40 with 3 kids (my youngest turns one this month, my eldest is 14) and I'm way past it to be making new friends! I'm happy with my OH as my friend. I also work in education and I get on well with my colleagues but they are just that - colleagues (e.g. I wouldn't class them as "friends.")

I’m 40 this year and maybe it’s just not the ‘season’ for loads of friends. I get that but hope it changes for when I retire.

I’ve used the equivalent of MeetUp.
It worked.

Watching....I have bought two tickets for a gig ...would love a good friend to take....may have to drag ds 19 along.....like care in the community for him! How this happened at 49 I have no idea...

Oh well done, OP. A band sounds fun. I don't believe anyone is too old to make new friends. My widowed 76 year old mother is still making new friends who are in their 30s through volunteering.

I have made a lot of friends online that a few have morphed into RL friends, but even the online ones are genuine friends that I really value. Its come into its own over the pandemic.

I think real life friends that you click with, there has to be a reason that you see them frequently and know that you want to see them more, so stuff like groups, or school runs etc, sometimes that works. Dog walking is another thing. Getting involved in political groups too

I'm the same. I have limited friends but they are busy. I'm contemplating starting up a book group once opening up is allowed but a book group with lots of wine.

I said yes to stuff I wouldn't normally have bothered with - an acquaintance asked me to come along to her book club as they needed new people and, with a bit of perseverance, that has turned into a lovely social group. My local library has a book club as well - you could try that?

I know people who have joined running groups and made new friends that way as well.

Glad you've done that OP . One of my best friends is a neighbour and I walk the dog with her . I do think having a dog makes you chat with people. Do you have cluster meetings and things where you chat with other heads and deputies or don't they do that now it's all academies and stuff?

Yeah I’m feeling more positive but I get fed up that it’s me organising stuff and wish I’d get to the point where a) people invited me out b) I was someone’s best friend (other than Dh’s). I’m going to set myself a goal of inviting someone to something once per week.

@midnightiswherethedaybegins

Yeah I’m feeling more positive but I get fed up that it’s me organising stuff and wish I’d get to the point where a) people invited me out b) I was someone’s best friend (other than Dh’s). I’m going to set myself a goal of inviting someone to something once per week.

I so identify with you. I get sick of always being the one who has to organise everything or suggest meeting. Last week a friend suggested meeting to me, I said "Ok, how about Thursday?" and then got a huffy reply that she doesn't actually have time to meet right now because things are very busy! I think lockdown has made people's social skills deteriorate and a lot of them want to meet, but have forgotten how:)

It’s so true. And even when people agree to do something, I’ve become used to them flaking before the event. I find it so frustrating. Maybe it’s me, but does anyone else find this?

Meet up groups are good for meeting people/friendship groups.

www.meetup.com/

@midnightiswherethedaybegins

It’s so true. And even when people agree to do something, I’ve become used to them flaking before the event. I find it so frustrating. Maybe it’s me, but does anyone else find this?

It's not you. I had a walk organised today, and all 3 people meant to come have flaked on me. Course the weather is awful.

The fact is everybody has busy lives and one has to learn not to take it personally.