Tired, really fucking tired. Why do I have to be an expert at everything?

[SunnySpring]

I'm tired, my brain is tired of the fucking 3bijillion things in my to do list. I seem to be unable to give up anything and everything just falls on my shoulders, the house, the baby, the dog. I'm unable to think clearly during the day and there's no give. Nothing that can be dropped etc. I have a DH but he's off building his business and trying to get his start up off the ground and it consumes him.

But my biggest gripe is with modern life! Why do I have to suddenly be an expert at everything ? Why does everything needs me to have tons of research! Weaning- there's a million options! Baby sleep- let's not even go there! Playtime and stimulation endless things I need to research and implement. Then there's the fucking dog, who is a massively reactive asshole on walks. I've got to do all this training, and help him lose weight, and do physio therapy for his knee. There's endless decisions that research and I'm done. I'm really tired.

Please tell me how to be better at making choices? Or just a kick up the bum! I had a shitty day at work and got home to an even longer list of shit to do!

Thanks @dottiedodah but while I do take the dog out with the baby, it's not ideal. He barks and lunges at every dog and it gets to be too much. I can only handle the walk between my flat and my parents so I've not done it much, because of covid.

Hi SunnySpring. You say in hindsight you should have rehomed the dog before. Would it be so terrible to do it now? If you are genuinely struggling then perhaps he may not be the right dog for you at this stage of your life. You have given it your best and if another home can be found that has the time and energy to tackle his issues it may be something to consider. As I said in a previous post, we have fostered several rescues over the years and I certainly would not judge anybody for trying. I don’t know what sort of bond you have formed and whether it is something you would consider. So pleased to hear you are able to outsource other things to help at the moment.

Thanks for not judging us @HelebethH . We've had him for several years now so we are all bonded to him even if he's a bit of an asshole dog with noise phobias and super reactive outside the house. Rehoming is off the table but it's constant battle to love him when he's barking all the time.

SunnySpring. If you have had him for a while and bonded that is a completly different view of things. Sounds as if you need to find the right person to help you sort him, especially one that understands his breed. Not easy , especially with all the previous covid restrictions. Shame to hear you have been ghosted by the previous trainer. Can I ask, has he become worse since the baby arrived?

@HelebethH no not worse since the baby arrived but worse since the pandemic which was before the baby. He is highly reactive and has no off switch when he starts barking. I often see people mention their dog is reactive because they bark once or twice but he literally won't stop until he's pulled away or the other dog is no longer in sight and even then he still barks in their direction. It's a shame as he's a lovely dog otherwise but I've realised while having my rant last night that his 'management' takes up huge amount of space in my daily thoughts. Between his barking, his diet and meds it's a lot on top of everything else. Sadly unless we rehome it's not going to get any better. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It often seemed ok before now it's suffocating

I feel your pain OP. DS is 2 and I felt like every “stage” required research to decide what we were going to do. I’ve got better at not stressing about it so much and going with the flow.

We also have a high maintenance dog. She requires physio exercises, medication and she’s a complete attention seeker. I think it feels worse since COVID as we’re all stuck together every day. I love her to bits but she’s a huge drain on my patience and mental capacity.

I’m sick of remembering a million tiny details. DH has a terrible memory and requires prompting to do things so no help there.

I had a bank statement through for a card I paid off last year and thought I’d cancelled. I went online to check and they’ve converted to app banking so had to download and set up that. Logged in and it looked active but with a nil balance. So I sent a message requesting to cancel the card, they had an auto option for it. The next day I got a text from them asking me to call. I carved time out of my day to queue and listen to a tinny version of Bryan Adams. Finally got through and they confirmed my account was closed and the statement was for the last tax year, just for my records . Why is everything so difficult and time consuming?!

I have to renew the home insurance now but can’t muster the will to guess what locks I have or how far away the tree is.

@MrsLeclerc you've described it perfectly! And more elegantly than me!

I totally feel this. We've just had minor building work done and I'm always amazed how much tradespeople expect you to know.

Why would I know anything about what they have spent years training and practising specifically to do? I don't ask them about what I do. I want to pay for them to recommend the best thing and just crack on with it.

As an aside to the expert thing and the tiny impossible things thing,
I have decided that at least some of my problem is that I am a doormat. I decided this as I walked in the rain yesterday to pick up the takeaway that I had paid for but didn't want, and then searched the house for a lost pair of trousers (not mine but I do all the washing). All the people in my house are adults and apart from dp perfectly capable of these things.

Op I feel you.
Dc are older but one with mh so I spend so much time trying to sort her appointments and keep school updated and now there's a claim to fill in about her and aaaaargh.
Then Dh just asks me about everything. And I mean everything. Had a shock yesterday when I discovered my bp is sky high and he still asked me stuff!