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Original poster

Is it ok to take time off work for a miscarriage?

55 replies

confuseddotcomma · 13/05/2021 19:53

I've had two miscarriages before. Both times it started at work and it was pretty obvious what was happening. I'm an mhs shift worker, if you leave in the middle of your shift the work doesn't get done, so I just got my teeth and got on with it for the rest of the shift.
I'm now having another miscarriage. I'm due ont tomorrow for a long day. I know I am physically capable of working while miscarrying because I've done it before... But I'm so so sad and all I want to do is curl up on bed and cry. Would I be ridiculous to take some time off work?

OP posts:
itsgettingwierd · 13/05/2021 19:54

Of course it's not ridiculous.

I'm very sorry you are experiencing this again. Thanks

Original poster
confuseddotcomma · 13/05/2021 19:54

Sorry for typos, NHS obviously...

OP posts:
Iloveyou3x · 13/05/2021 19:54

Oh my god you poor thing! You definitely need to stay off work!! Pregnancy related illness such as miscarriage cannot be used on the sickness level management scale so you don’t need to worry.

tedsletterofthelaw · 13/05/2021 19:54

I'm so sorry Thanks

I think you should absolutely take the day off tomorrow

Thinking of you xx

BertieBotts · 13/05/2021 19:55

Take the day off. So sorry to hear this.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/05/2021 19:55

Please. Take the time.

I had 3 weeks leave after mine - some if that was for physical pains, and some emotional. I was just out of my mind for weeks after it.

bungabungaboo · 13/05/2021 19:56

Please take the day off this is called 'self-care'

Look after yourself Thanks

EarringsandLipstick · 13/05/2021 19:56

I'm really sorry. Please take the day off (as sick leave) & take care of yourself. This is really hard 💐

mayblossominapril · 13/05/2021 19:56

Definitely take the day off
Flowers

insancerre · 13/05/2021 19:59

So sorry
Please look after yourself and take the time off
You come first

seekingadvice23 · 13/05/2021 20:00

Take the time off.
So sorry you're going through this again

Original poster
confuseddotcomma · 13/05/2021 20:01

Thank you everyone.
I think I'm just so stuck knowing that if I don't go in the shift will be that much harder for my colleagues and I hate putting anyone in that position.
Last time I miscarried I was only 8 weeks along and I mentioned it to a colleague and she basically said I had no right to be upset as I was barely pregnant. I know it's a lot worse for people who are further on but it really hurt and made me think I was being a bit pathetic.

OP posts:
TitsOot4Xmas · 13/05/2021 20:02

NHS HR director here. PLEASE don’t go into work. Please take some time to recover. As long as you need to. Please.

partywalladvice · 13/05/2021 20:02

Im so sorry you're going through this Flowers
I am also a NHS worker, I did similar to you in continuing the shift I was on when I suspected it was happening but then had 2-3 weeks off until it was all over. Partly because it was physically tough on my body but also because I wasnt emotionally strong enough to deal with work.
Take the time you need

savemejebus · 13/05/2021 20:04

Your colleague was out of order saying that, I just can't believe the mindset of some people. They will DEFINITELY be in the minority.
I've just had a week off after a recent miscarriage and my colleagues/employer were all so understanding. Just as I'll be understanding when a colleague needs to be off for "whatever it is" next time. We all hike up our big pants and get on with our job.
Some things are far more important and looking after yourself right now should be top of your list. Please be kind to yourself.

I'm so sorry for your loss xx

snowdropsandcrocuses · 13/05/2021 20:04

@TitsOot4Xmas

NHS HR director here. PLEASE don’t go into work. Please take some time to recover. As long as you need to. Please.
I don't know why but I'm really struggling to reconcile 'tits oot 4 Xmas' with HR DIRECTOR!
Suzi888 · 13/05/2021 20:05

What a horrible person she was....
Work colleagues shouldn’t be made aware of the reason for your sickness (and I wouldn’t tell them it’s none of their business!)

I’d take as much time as you need, I’m sorry for your loss.

snowdropsandcrocuses · 13/05/2021 20:05

But yes op, absolutely take time off. I would suggest a day isn't enough, particularly as this is your third. Take the time you need. Thanks

Spudlet · 13/05/2021 20:07

Dear god, your colleague said that and works for the NHS?! That’s disgraceful.

Take the time that you need op. I’m so sorry this is happening to you Flowers

aibutohavethisusername · 13/05/2021 20:07

So sorry Flowers take the day off and look after yourself.

Justcashnosweets · 13/05/2021 20:07

I am so sorry OP Flowers I also work for the NHS, and you absolutely cannot work whilst having a miscarriage. I took 4 weeks off when I had a mmc. It was traumatic. Please don't go to work, and take off as long as you need.

bumpdownthestairs · 13/05/2021 20:07

Please take the time off, let them know ASAP as it will relieve a bit of your worry about not going in. You don't need that on top of everything else Flowers

Amammai · 13/05/2021 20:08

Take the time off. However far along you are, your baby was clearly already loved and important to you. Ignore thoughtless comments. If a friend was going through this and needed to take off, would you be disappointed in them? Of course not! Take some time to rest and don’t go back until you feel ready. Your colleagues will cope.

FontyMcFontface · 13/05/2021 20:09

Bloody hell, I had six weeks! So sorry, OP, go home. Flowers

FurBabyMum02 · 13/05/2021 20:09

You should definitely take some time off. I was only 8 weeks when I lost our first little one and even that early it was physically horrible and emotionally I was a train wreck. I took 3 weeks, then another as it was over the Xmas company shutdown and still wasn't myself when I went back. I'm so sad to hear you have had multiple losses I'm sure it doesn't get any easier at all. You should feel able to take whatever time u need.