Working with someone who emails me CONSTANTLY - tips needed!

[Tinselandlights]

I am working on a small team, all from home at the moment. We have been together for 11 months, all new to the company. I think this is a wfh issue at its heart.

One of the team is incredibly prolific with his work-based email. Never says please or thank you, but he isn't rude per se, just very direct and a bit socially unaware. He isn't bad at his job but is very overwhelmed, partly because he doesn't prioritise. I'm head of my department, he is a similar age but more junior.

At first I dropped hints, then said 'I'm getting too many emails from you, please cut it down' to now, where I've sorted his emails into their own folder to respond to twice a day because there are so many - upwards of 20 a day, so 100+ a week. We have a half-hour team meeting together every day too but he never asks any of his questions then.

I've spoken to his line manager but it doesn't seem to be reducing in volume despite her supporting me and speaking to him. I'm going to speak to her again. How can I stop getting annoyed by it all?

All top tips for not getting irritated by annoying emails gratefully received!

Could you set up an auto reply just for his emails, reiterating the issues and reminding him that he needs to be more efficient in his communication? Or suggest some training?

What are they about? Are they just fired off as and when he thinks of things? Are they questions or just information? Is it irrelevant or actually things you need to receive but would like condensed in to fewer emails?

What's the nature of his emails? Is he cc-ing you in to things he thinks you need to know? Or is he asking direct "need help" questions?

Well, I think more information is needed

So, 20 emails if they are quick questions doesn't sound massively out of order. At present, because I & all my team are working entirely from home, there are days when I get many emails from an individual, at least some of which would have been answered by them popping into my office

But also:

I've spoken to his line manager but it doesn't seem to be reducing in volume

So as you aren't his LM, you need to push this onto her again. You say he is overwhelmed with work & not prioritising work. You need to make clear with her your boundaries around how you are prepared to work with him. And then leave it with her.

If he keeps emailing beyond what you consider reasonable, you just forward them to her, don't engage with him.

Is he treating email like Teams, and if he were using messaging it would be that annoying style of:

Hey Tinsel
How are you
I have a query
Oh and a follow up
Can I just ask

I would set up an auto filter on his emails so you don’t even have to manually put them in your folders; you should never even know they’re her there. Then reply once a day to one of them, saying something like: “I have 25 separate emails from you today. In order to answer them, please send one containing all your queries, collated. I will answer questions that can’t be answered by looking at the intranet/cloud server/etc”

For the not getting annoyed part: eat a cake every time he emails. Send him a puzzled cat gif back each and every time. Or the “question mark” man meme.

@BoyTree

Could you set up an auto reply just for his emails, reiterating the issues and reminding him that he needs to be more efficient in his communication? Or suggest some training?

Imagine doing this!

Regardless of how frustrating it is, this is PA & massively unprofessional.

Also, at least some of those emails will be relevant. Imagine how insanely rude it would be to get the same auto-reply to every email? 😳

I think email has gone up in the pandemic. I sob thinking about it.

How often do they have a 1.1 with their manager? Do they copy their manager in?

I've set meetings on one day with my line reports and on the other days they know they may or may not get a reply, i.e. if it looks business critical I will reply, otherwise it waits. I won't get my own work done otherwise and the nature of the work is they should be able to get on with it.

I'd say in the next meeting that I'm not going to answer any more emails from him, unless he sends you one email a day with all the questions in, and that he should maybe try and work out how to do something and come up with a solution himself before asking in the first place.

Don't reply. That's it. Wrap up and send to his line manager to deal with. Be clear what topics you deal with and those you don't.

Agree auto-route them into one folder.

Would you be ok if he collated all his updates/requests/questions into one per day?

Would it be appropriate for him to save them all for the team meeting?

Agree you need to feed back to him and his LM and that an auto-reply would be a BAD idea.

Is he sending them directly to you without his manager in cc? I find sometimes people who send a lot of mail send them directly without cc'ing their manager. When I respond I add the manager in cc every time and the frequency of the emails goes down quixkly.

Training is a really good suggestion @BoyTree.

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat they are just scattergun emails, fired off as he thinks of them.

I am in charge of publicity and marketing for our company and he does product development.

For examples of the emails, today I did a Zoom presentation with an external speaker in front of 30 other staff, about his product, and he fed back with about five pointers for how I could approach it differently - not actually unhelpful in itself but there was no shit sandwich to give me a bit of praise so I felt a bit deflated.

Then he asked if I could get a slot on Desert Island Discs for someone we work with (so just a bit ridiculous).

In another, someone asked me for something, and he was copied in, so he followed it up with another email that said 'are you ok to do that @tinsel?'

Then he'd made a mistake so he emailed everyone to let them know.

It carried on like that. None of it in itself is a massive issue but it's just so constant.

@burritofan I have set up an auto-folder so they all go in there and I try and sort them out in time, but it sends my blood pressure soaring!

@misconstrued that's a very good point - most of his email isn't business critical, but I'm getting into a really busy part of my year whereas he isn't, so it's even more annoying to have to break off from my work to respond to these emails. I'll try to train him not to expect a response and in return will focus on actually getting my work done rather than trying to run them down.

Don't sort. Filter. Set up a filter so that emails from him automatically go into a separate folder. Check the folder once per day.

If it's urgent, he will have to ring you. If it's not, it may well have resolved itself by the time you read the email.

To be honest, in your position I would probably set up a 30 min call with him daily as a catch-up and say, you're emailing me lots and we'll be able to cover all these points more efficiently by speaking. One of the things I am wondering is - is he lonely at home? Obviously I don't know him but if one of my team were emailing/calling/messaging me a lot, I'd wonder if it's because they need some sort of social connection. Not saying you have to provide that! but that might put a different spin on it and point towards other solutions for you...

TEAMS. He needs a different platform to use for all these thoughts.

Tinsel *
*
Now that you've explained further I do feel you've made it more complicated than needed.

In the examples you provide:

• pointers on your presentation: inappropriate. You are more senior to him, you do not need his feedback. Refer back to his LM & ask to them to address it. Don't reply to him.

• Desert Island: ignore

• Cc: inappropriate of him, back to LM.

So of the examples you provide, only none needed a reply & most should be dealt with by his LM. The issue is with the colleague at your level needing to manage her team.

Training may be needed but it's not your job to do it, he's not your direct report.

• Mistake: ignore

You are the head of the department - redirect all his emails for his line manager to sort out.

@PanamaPattie

You are the head of the department - redirect all his emails for his line manager to sort out.

This. Once you make it his LM's problem, it will stop.

It's sexism too btw - bet you he wouldn't do this to a man who was senior to him.

@lljkk

TEAMS. He needs a different platform to use for all these thoughts.

That's what I thought... and then backed away from said thought as fast as I'd had it!

If OP is having issues with frequency of emails/communication, Teams would be just as bad or likely worse!

As for his behaviour in general... it sounds as though he's rather full of self-importance and trying to boost his profile, but he's going about it the wrong way... I agree with PPs, ask his line manager to sort it out and don't back down!

Save them all up and reply to them all in one go (just quick sentences). Then by getting all the replies in one go he might see how many emails he's sent?

@lljkk

TEAMS. He needs a different platform to use for all these thoughts.

That was my thought too. All the ‘incidental’ chat that you’d have in the office, quick questions or comments, we use Teams chat or even better Slack.

Slack is really good as you can hsve channels for each topic. So you’d have a channel for your presentation, and all chat about if just goes on there. It carries a different load to email.

I think having different tech channels available for different types of comms, reflecting what would be happening in an office more closely Is important when all working remotely,

Ignore them all and arrange a brief chat once a day to discuss his concerns, by then a lot of his comments such as 'are you ok with that? Tinsel' will be in the past, you can jot down anything needing a response and send him one email........I'm sure there are many ways this could backfire but anyway...

I think redirecting to the line manager, perhaps just one days worth as an attachment, will highlight the problem. You feel harassed by this, and whilst doing this initially would be extreme, ultimately the manager being unwilling to deal with this should fall back on them for failing to deal with unreasonable behaviour.

@lljkk

TEAMS. He needs a different platform to use for all these thoughts.

Oh god no that would be Horrendous!

I hate the way emails have become teams messages demanding my attention immediately when they used to sit quietly in my inbox waiting for me to get to email time.

How do you think using Teams would improve the situation?

I agree with putting it back on the line manager. Not sure how you have approached it previously but you need to meet with her and discuss this rather than just emailing her.

I think his tone and approach are also a potential concern if he's working with external people. How does that make you look? But also it's shit for other people internally if he's this blunt and annoying with them too. He could potentially be damaging the moral of the whole team.

It does also sound like a skill issue here to with not being able to prioritise and manage multiple things at once. I'd also ay not being able to communicate in a polite manner is a pretty significant skill deficit too.