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Original poster

I never believed these threads. Rude woman!

55 replies

MindTheBumps · 13/05/2021 10:45

I always took threads where someone has been horrendously rude with a pinch of salt but I actually have experienced it myself and am now a believer!

I was in the gym the other day and a woman walked in, looked at me and said oh you have put a bit of weight on haven't you.

I have indeed but on a stone and a bit but I wasn't expecting anyone to comment on it, it's been lock down, lots of us have put a bit on surely!

I kind of blustered about oh you know lock down pounds. But I'm actually a little hurt.

It's given me the motivation I need to get back in my diet though so there's that!

I don't know why it's bothered me so much because it's not like I didn't know, I was in the gym trying to shift it after all so I am working on it but it's not a quick fix as we all know and I just feel quite despondent about it now.

I am not actually over weight, My bmi is 24.3 (just checked) so I think she should mind her own business!

OP posts:

Firkinhavinalaugh · 13/05/2021 10:51

There are just some women who feel superior enough to try and body shame someone else.

Someone I know 18 months after my last Dec asked if I was pregnant again as I was certainly carrying the baby weight badly. I wasn’t but fo suffer from bloating issues and I’d been working away from home at an event eating unhealthily and on my feet for a couple of days. It was said loudly and rudely and to bring attention to my weight whilst at this event and whilst I was working.

Interestingly, she didn’t and still doesn’t have a remotely perfect figure! She was probably a couple of sizes larger, if not more than me, and I’d say I was somewhere between a 14-16 at the time.

I wish I’d replied with the standard MN “did you mean to be so rude” but hindsight’s a wonderful thing x

2pumpsandasquirt · 13/05/2021 10:51

If you see her again mention how much weight that chip on her shoulder has added, that should do the trick. Cheeky cow. I’ve gained a stone myself, I don’t know anybody who hasn’t.

Original poster

MindTheBumps · 13/05/2021 10:59

I can't imagine ever commenting that n someone's weight unless I knew they were actively trying to lose some and I was congratulating them on their loss.

I have been feeling a bit low about it anyway so I think it just touched a nerve.

What a horrible woman @Firkinhavinalaugh !

OP posts:

Ohyesiam · 13/05/2021 11:02

To be fair she should mind her own business no matter what your bmi is.

Maybe she’s a secret weapon that the gym deploys to motivate People

Atalune · 13/05/2021 11:07

So rude!!!

Original poster

MindTheBumps · 13/05/2021 11:22

@Ohyesiam

To be fair she should mind her own business no matter what your bmi is.

Maybe she’s a secret weapon that the gym deploys to motivate People

That cheered me up thinking the gym employees people to motivate people with insults

She is tiny and was telling me how she can eat anything she wants and not put weight on. I bow hate her she doesn't even come to our gym, she just popped in with her boyfriend before her class started. She does the cardio classes in the gym upstairs.

OP posts:

Alternista · 13/05/2021 11:23

I was waiting for my son outside an activity last night and there were two women who were “friends” but SO NOT chatting just in front of me. In the ten minutes I was eavesdropping there were so many passive aggressive comments between them about who had put on the most weight in lockdown, whose child was better at the activity, which high school was best (they’d chosen different ones) and it was hilarious to listen to. I wanted to go up to them and say “you’re not friends. This is toxic. Just go and stand on your own” and I did wonder I f they’d both go home just feeling a bit crapper about themselves after their chat.

Some people just can’t help but be a bit mean, it seems. OP I’m sure you look just as lovely as ever and, like you say, loads of people have gained during lockdown. It’s her not you x

BlackCatShadow · 13/05/2021 11:25

Is she British? In some cultures it’s not considered rude to comment on weight. My old neighbor was Chinese and always used to tell my mum how fat she was and bring her slimming tea.

Ginmakesitallok · 13/05/2021 11:27

At a family get together where we hadn't seen each other on about a year my Aunt greeted me with "well, you haven't lost any weight!" Bitch.

Workinghardeveryday · 13/05/2021 11:31

What a cheeky cow!!! Clearly an idiot. Take no notice of her.
Next time you see her pull her appearance to pieces!!!!

Zakana · 13/05/2021 11:31

@BlackCatShadow

Is she British? In some cultures it’s not considered rude to comment on weight. My old neighbor was Chinese and always used to tell my mum how fat she was and bring her slimming tea.

This is true, the Cypriots are very much the same. When I first met my DHs family and friends who are all Cypriot, I couldn’t believe how rude they were, not only to each other but the gossiping and back stabbing behind each other’s backs, awful, just awful.

Original poster

MindTheBumps · 13/05/2021 11:33

She is British.

My OH said I should ask her what's she's done to her hair and will she be able to fix it and act all concerned. (Nothing wrong with her hair)

I just couldn't do it though!

OP posts:

Original poster

MindTheBumps · 13/05/2021 11:36

I actually came home and did side by side photos. I had just done a weighloss challenge before lockdown in October/November so had some photos from them.

I can see I am bigger but not massively so enough to comment on it!

OP posts:

ButtercupSquash · 13/05/2021 11:38

It’s so rude and unsubtle, I wouldn’t worry about it.
Last December I told a shop worker that my parents had just been vaccinated. He said: You’ve got parents?

Samantha6687 · 13/05/2021 11:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

majesticallyawkward · 13/05/2021 11:47

How rude! I like to think in these situations I'll have a really witty, biting comeback but actually just sort of nod and then think of the perfect reply a few hours later.

It's been a few years since anything like this has happened to me with someone being so outright rude, but the passive aggressive stuff is regular. Women can be so rude to each other, especially when kids are involved.

Weight and appearance seems to be something people feel they can comment on, I'm on the chunky side and going grey (early 30s and maybe 30% grey) and the amount of people who think it's ok to make passive aggressive remarks 'I wish I had the confidence to go out in public with greys on show!' 'oh goodness it must be so nice to have your confidence and not have to diet allllll the time'. There was a time I'd have cried, now I feel kind of sorry for these people that they have to act like this for validation or whatever.

Original poster

MindTheBumps · 13/05/2021 11:49

People are so rude! I've not experienced it before I always thought nah never happened when I see threads like this but boy am I wrong!!

OP posts:

Maddison12 · 13/05/2021 11:57

Rude bitch, honestly don't give her a second though. At least you're going to the gym and trying to do something about it, I've put on a little bit in lockdown and haven't got the motivation at the minute

Have some responses ready in case she ever does it again. "Yeah I can lose weight, you won't ever lose that awful personality though"

Sparklesocks · 13/05/2021 12:00

It’s strange that people feel they’re allowed to comment on people’s bodies - especially if they deem them to be too big of too small etc. I also think there’s an element of arrogance too - who do you think you are that you think people want to hear your unsolicited feedback on how they look? As the kids on tiktok say - show me where I asked.

And you never know if someone has a history of eating disorders etc so what you think is a mild comment may actually be quite damaging.

I know it’s easier said than done but try not to let it get to you.

BlackCatShadow · 13/05/2021 12:02

It comes from her own insecurity so don’t let it bother you. If you could turn back time, I’d love to have said something like “Oh, my gosh, I was just about to say the same thing to you!” But you can’t so don’t dwell on it.

AvaAvocado · 13/05/2021 12:06

A few years ago I bumped into an old work friend, who I hadn't seen for a couple of years. She looked me up and down then said "oh you don't do an aerobics class anymore then?"
I just stood there like

Don't let it bother you OP.

catmandont · 13/05/2021 12:11

I once had a school mum argue with me that I was pregnant!

Said congratulations, I said oh I'm not pregnant, she said yes you are A said so.

There was actually another mum (B) who looked quite similar to me (hair, height style etc) and she was indeed pregnant. I said, I think you probably mean B. She said no it's definitely you 🤣

Original poster

MindTheBumps · 13/05/2021 12:32

I wish I had thought of something to say. I honestly was just shocked.

@catmandont who in their right mind would even argue about that with you! I am fairly sure you would know!

OP posts:

Tottington · 13/05/2021 12:43

How rude! Some people just don't have a filter!

Two school mums said to me at drop off one morning "why don't you wear pretty clothes to work, you could look so nice" ... my clothes are professional but practical. I work in a specialist role with people with complex needs, it's not the kind of job you do in heals and dresses!!

They caught me at our local pub too. Rural pub, on a hot day. I was wearing sunglasses, summer dress, & flip flops. "You'd be so pretty with some mascara and lipstick on"! ... yes, but we're at the local village pub in the middle of the day, not dining out at Nobu!!

LookItsMeAgain · 13/05/2021 12:48

You could always come back with the gem that is "Well, I'm here to lose those pounds, but I don't know where you go to stop being a bitch...how about over there out of my eyeline!"

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