Daft apath and other sayings

[WhoNeedsaManOfTheWorld]

This was used when I was a child as a fond insult I guess
Along with don't stand around like cheese at 4 pence
Unless my spelling is wrong apath doesn't fit does it?

As thick as two short planks.

Less meat than a butchers pencil .

My nana used to tell me I couldn't stop a pig in a ginnel (I was a bandy legged child).

If you looked good she'd say you were as smart as a beeson brush 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I thought it was daft apeth as in the APE, like you daft monkey!

My nana and grandad used to say 'dim as a tock H lamp'.

That and 'big nail' to mean the floor, as in 'GeordieRacer yuv left yer coat on't big nail again!'